Boyfriend watches porn all night and sleeps all day?

Its making me feel like shit and on top of that We have not had sex in like a week and i can only go 3 days without it. he's 42 and i believe this porn addiction is ruining everything. What should I do? He does it while im sleep and I haven't gone to sleep with him in over a week.
Updates:
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Sidebar so Mostly every one here believes I shouldn't stay with him? Cuz he loves me but it is an addiction just like crack or alcohol. Also besides this issue that sometimes comes up we are serious and he does want to buy a house with me..
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I got it wrong he doesn't do it every night
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Superb Opinion

  • "Its making me feel like shit..." Uh, no, YOU get to decide how YOU feel. You can't blame your condition on something or someone else. So quit making such a silly claim. He acts bad, YOU have feelings about it. He does not MAKE you anything. OWN your own shit.

    This is called being a 'porn-widow'. Quite a number of them on here. It's where their man jerks of to porn instead of being with her. And it is a TOTAL AND COMPLETE failure, of which YOU are the FOOL for putting up with it. Worse, you CANNOT compete with all that depravity, the constant barrage of illicit sex, fake sex, whatever they can dream up to shock the viewer. It's disgusting trash, and if you look at it for long enough you begin to believe all that depravity, and you will lose sight of what a real man-woman romantic relationship or sex is about.

    So here's the deal - you sit him down and make a deal with him. No more porn. Just quit it, cold turkey. No more jerking off to porn. YOU become his sole outlet for sex. If he's horny, for ANYTHING, he comes to you and you get him off. And you can NEVER say 'NO' unless it's life or death. You make yourself and your body ALL his.

    This is the proof in the pudding - does he REALLY care for you? Does he really love you? Is he willing to let you go for his addiction? Or is he willing to quit that shit and make you an honest woman?

    Time will tell. Let us know how it goes.

Most Helpful Guy

  • You need to talk with him, and don't be accusatory (even though you have the right).

    Tell him whatever fantasies he has, that you are willing to roleplay with him if there's something missing, but in the end, he needs to agree that you only watch porn together and only on rare occasions, or at least minimize to one night a week or something.

    The only hitch is if he is watching trans or gay porn, then you have a much bigger problem to deal with.

Most Helpful Girls

  • Wanting to buy a house with you is not a reason to put up with the shit your partner does. Trust me, I've been there. He probably does love you. But if you have already talked about this to him and he still doesn't make an effort to change his habit even after he sees how much it's bothering you, I really don't see what's the point of you still trying.
    Watching porn is not wrong. It's ok to watch porn even when ur in a relationship. It's normal. But if it's affecting your relationship, or if you'd rather do it by watching naked people on the screen instead of with your partner? Then that's wrong. You deserve to be happy.
    If you can see him genuinely making an effort to change his ways, even if it's little by little, then you have a good reason to keep working on your relationship. If not, you should leave him before this relationship destroys your faith in better relationships. Do let him do that to you.

  • Before deciding to leave him, maybe it would be a good idea to talk to him about how you're feeling? Watching porn is very natural and healthy but if it's to this extent then it may be worth a chat. If he immediately gets angry and/or defensive without considering your opinion, then maybe it might be time to consider it.

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What Girls & Guys Said

7 31
  • Is this like a sudden thing, has it never happened before? How long have you been with him?

    • He told me he had a porn issue and only 7 months but yes its suddently getting slightly worse

    • Well ultimately you need to confront him, you need to do your research before hand. Tell him that you need him to change his behavior because it's straining your relationship, tell him all the problems you have like that he'snot coming to bed, he's awake all night and asleep all day. Reassure him so that it doesn't feel as much like an attack, tell him you want to help him change. And then finally give him an ultimatum, if he won't promise to get help and change his behavior than you will leave him. Just like any other addict he needs help and you shouldn't budge on that, you shouldn't agree to treatment in a month or maybe after he tries with his own will power, you need to set clear rules and be confident in them.

    • Regarding the update, If you love him don't give up on him immediately. Hopefully the fact that he's serious enough to want to buy a house with you means that he's serious enough to change his behavior for this relationship.

  • Hey, I’m really sorry to hear this. But this is definitely an addiction that can compromise the relationship.

    www.yourbrainonporn.com

    This is an addiction that he has to battle on his own accord by his own choice otherwise it’ll be extremely difficult.

    I’ve seen situations like these before, feel free to PM me and I can help you guys out 💪

    • Listen, you can be serious all you want, but he has to be serious to the point where he is willing to quit porn for the betterment of the relationship. I have seen how porn has destroyed relationships and marriages, I have even experienced it before. When it gets to the point where he does it behind your back, and you are really hurt by it and you feel cheated from (whether it'd be sexual or emotional neglect). It would be best if you stay in contact but have him go through the recovery process but if worse comes to worst, you might have to leave him.

  • Why are you dating a man with mental health issues 20 years older than you?

    • Why does the 20 years older part matter?

    • @lanadelrey25 yeah the age gap has nothing to do with nothing lol and porn addiction is more commen in our age group by the way

    • @lanadelrey25 think about what kind of man at 42 goes for someone 20 years younger? It’s gotta be physical not intellectual...

    • Show All
  • Xx well you already know where this is headed ,,, some guys are so stupid

  • Get out before it's too late.

  • Since he is just your boyfriend... I would move out while he is asleep.
    Yes his porn addiction has ruined your relationship. He probably gets himself off a few times while watching hot naked chicks on the screen.

    So, while you still can... dump his sorry ass, move out, and don't go back to him.
    Then find a guy who wants you, wants to sleep with you, enjoys sex with you, and is your partner and best friend.
    Good luck.

  • So he doesn't work oe take care of the house it take care of you? Why are you still with him? A dog would be a better companion.

    • He loves you? Do you feel loved? Are you happy to go without sex for the next 20 years just to have a housemate? Why would you settle for that?

  • I mean that's mostly me. But wouldn't be at all in relationship and it's unhealthy to be addicted so yes leave. i mean you can try and help but you gotta remember your not supposed to get dragged down with it or feel unwanted. It's good to help someone grow but never let it get abusive to you.

  • be more dominate in your relationship / sex live. consider being the one to engage in sex with him. maybe figure out what type of porn he watches and consider doing / roleplaying some of it with him. for some guys porn is about fantasy.

  • Leave him gurlfriend

    Boyfriend watches porn all night and sleeps all day?
  • Something definitely wrong here. You and him need serious talk.

  • I doubt if that's uncommon anymore, Guys lose sight of the fact that women are real, they are going to have the occasional blemish and probably don't wear stiletto heels while having sex. In real life they not only need to deal with someone who isn't airbrushed but he, too, is not airbrushed and has= I'm sure - plenty of imperfections. My biggest problem with porn is it's all see, no touch. I get turned on too much by a teal woman's arousal and orgasm (s) to give that up for a video

  • 42 year old loser porn addict? break up with him and stop wasting your time.
    And tell him you left him because his despicable behavior.

  • Yeah if I were you I'd leave him.

  • Communicate a healthy relationship requires good communication

    • I think you should leave him too

  • ... Why does his age matter, that you would even mention it

  • Tell him no porn until he gets your cookies off. He can also share with you what he likes on porn and perhaps you would try it.

    • I saw your update. People on this site always say dump him because it is quick, easy and feels good. But then they later say “communication is the key”. It seems rather inconsistent to me

    • I agree

  • Tell him you will become his pornstar. So he should stop watching other women

    • Don't leave him. Care for him

  • What in the fuck are you doing?

    Leave him

  • He's addicted to porn and unless he's willing to admit that and seek help, then you need to do the right thing and dump his lame ass. You're young and in your prime, surely you can do better.

    • Your crazy to stay with him unless he seeks help.

    • I guess but i can't go more than 3 days without sex sooo I don't know im kinda just as bad

    • No worries you won’t go without sex for that long, and sometimes it’s about sacrificing things because it’s the right thing to do.

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