Boyfriends mom found our used condom?

Question

Me and my boyfriend have been together for about 2 months. He's 22 I'm 19. His family is very religious and kind of strict. He lost his virginity to his ex gf so I'm only the 2nd girl he's had sex with. The other day his mom found our used condom in the garbage. He said she was really upset and disappointed in him bc he was telling her all along that he was waiting for marriage and that he was still a virgin. He told her it was the first time it happened so she thinks he lost his virginity to me instead of his ex. She now says that we are not allowed to go into his room anymore. I'm so scared to see her now. Prior to this she LOVED me. But I'm scared now she lost my respect and is going to hate me. My bf said she didn't want him to mention it to me bc she doesn't want me to feel like she doesn't like me or doesn't want me around but that's exactly how I feel. I don't know what to do and it's just super awkward and uncomfortable. Opinions?

mrf284212 · Accepted Answer

She's probably not necessarily mad at you. She's mad at her son for lying and have sex before marriage. Both sins in Catholicism but both forgivable. Not that I know what religion he is part of. Yes she could be mad at you because you indirectly caused him to do both those sins.

But time heals all wounds. Just act the same you always acted to make her love you. If she loved you before and she truly believes in forgiveness, like Catholicism states, then she will love you again.

If you think you could talk to her about it with neither of you arguing then I would try that. But if she's not a person that is open to listening to someone and understanding how they feel, then I would just try to forget it. Having a 3rd party present helps with keeping the emotions steady. So if your boyfriend or someone else you know is capable of doing that, then you could try it.

The best plan may be just to forget it and be who you are. If she doesn't like it then there's not a whole lot you can do. Hopefully I helped you out a little. Good luck with figuring it out.

By the way sex itself is not a means to lose respect. I know a lot of people say that but sex is the reason we exist. So no matter what point in time sex takes place, sex alone does not lose respect. Sex is the continuing of life, which is the purpose of life, to pass on data.

Red_Dragon · Accepted Answer

Just because she's religious doesn't mean anything. The reason why is because it's her son's life. Even if you are religious everybody has to live for themselves. She should know that.

Nobody is perfect and just because he's not a virgin doesn't mean all is lost even when it comes to religion.

If she can't forgive then I can't see how she's religious at all. It would tell me she's just ignorant. She's nobody's judge. It's your BF's life not hers. He has free will regardless of beliefs.

Katy16 · Accepted Answer

You can try and suck up to her but there isn't much you can do now. Just be as nice to her as you can

Anonymous · Accepted Answer

You guys are adults. Get jobs and get your own place

ForReal · Answer

That's what you get for lying to a mom, lol. Tell her anal sex hurts too much and you didn't want to bring a heathen child into this sinful world. Then tell your boyfriend he's 22 years old.

CommieDearest · Answer

If she didn't want him to mention it to you for that reason, then she doesn't dislike you.

yaddayaddayadda02 · Answer

Just look her right in the eye and assert your dominance.

BertMacklinFBI · Answer

gotta live with your vices:p ok maybe vice is a little harsh but you get the gyst.

zombiebabe · Answer

she is very conservative and religious... i don't think there's a way to change it... just deal with it

Strider90 · Answer

there's nothing you can do about it and believe me she is not hating you.

legalboxers · Answer

smh.. parents will be parents

Anonymous · Answer

The fact that she wanted him to keep the secret from you, means she also doesn't want things to be awkward between you. To me, that says she still thinks the world of you.  Focus on that.