Bromance... Is he Gay?

Jealousy of a dude?

I came home from my buddy’s house happy as hell only to run smack into my wreck of a girlfriend. She looked like she had been crying for a couple of hours. She not only had eyes puffed closed but her mascara looked like linebacker paint. I had to grit my teeth and anchor my eyebrows to not laugh. I was curious to find out what was wrong but I couldn’t be bothered to dig it out of her. When I stopped paying attention she blurted out, “Why do you always go over there?!” “huh?” I said, “Do you mean John’s house?” Her silence answered my question. “John is my friend and I enjoy hanging out with him,” I sounded a little defensive since I was a good six pack to the wind. “What is going on over there? Why do you come back so late?? Are there girls there?” She said this so quickly I didn’t know which to answer first. “No! it’s just me John and sometimes other friends, we play pool, talk and drink beer. That’s all… No girls, just talking and drinking.” Her eyes narrowed as if there were some sort of conspiracy I was hiding from her. We both waited while she decided whether or not she wanted to say something. “Do you like him?” her stare bored into my eyes to read my emotion. I snorted out a laugh and shot a little beer up my nose, “What?? Are you serious?” She was silent and kept staring me. It took about two hours for me to convince her I was not sexually involved with John.

More freak-outs

I have to add that the same girl saw a screen saver of a girl in a swimsuit on my computer and nutted-out. “Why did you put that there?? Why!!?? Do you think I am fat? Are you trying to tell me something!!! Why don’t you just say it!?? This was all pretty crazy, since the girl in the picture was my sister and the screen saver happened to grab it. After I explained she said, “oh…”

What are some reasons guys hang out with other guys?

• They need a break from their girlfriend
• They feel suffocated in the relationship
• They have lost the friend connection since they have been with you
• They like to drink, smoke and play pool
• They like to talk about women grab their balls and be guys
• They feel they can be themselves around guy friends (and grab their balls)
• They have spent a lot of time with guys growing up and have not had many girlfriends
• They want to talk about other women so they can imagine they are single again
• They want to do things that you don’t really approve of
• BUT VERY VERY RARELY are they gay

I am in a Bromance

My buddy Jake just got accused by his girlfriend of being in a bromance with me. This was very flattering! She was jealous of the time Jake spent with me. She was also worried that I was undoing all of the work she was putting into training Jake. That was not really true, Jake was so bent to get bent that he was a bad influence on me! She had worked so hard to isolate and stomp out poor Jake’s bad qualities that he was using me as an excuse to explode every Sunday night. Unfortunately it led to Jake hanging out with me even more and her less, oops…

Letting guys be guys

It is really really important to just let a guy be, let him be stupid and hang out with his friends. Let him act like a moron once a week at least. Don’t try to squeeze the bad behaviors out of him. If you attempt this you will only concentrate the behavior and he will end up lying to you. I know it is hard but it is important to encourage this, he needs this outlet and the two of you are not an island. Let him act like an idiot once a week.

* The more you hang on the more he pulls away
* A bromance is nothing to be threatened about
* Just be glad he wants to hang out with a guy not a girl
* If you are feeling jealous of his friends maybe you need to get a few yourself

Mike Masters
Writes a blog for women about relationships at MikeTheMasterDater.com. Traveling the world and dating every single girl he met along the way allowed Mike to make an uncountable number of mistakes in relationships. These mistakes led to a fluency in the psychology of dating that could only be gained from radical immersion.
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Most Helpful Girl

  • I completely agree on the business of letting guys be guys and hang out with their friends.

    Many otherwise normal women get a little psycho though when they feel like something is up that you aren't telling her or like the status of things has changed, or like you are distancing yourself from her. I hear you saying her behavior makes you want to distance yourself, but it sounds like that's exacerbating the issue. Time to communicate about what's going on. And yes, she needs to get out more!

Most Helpful Guy

  • I'm gonna be honest. I think it's really sad and pathetic that they had to come up with a special name to describe when you just want to make time to hang out with your friends. This is something that SHOULD be commonplace, and the fact that it merits a special name and girls see it as a bad thing is just pathetic and says a lot about how they think. And it isn't good.

    Also, I think the girl in the story is psychotic. Seriously. I don't think any girl that paranoid is worth the trouble.

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What Girls & Guys Said

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  • Yep.. this is pretty damn good.. Although I've never been in that kind of situation, now I know what to watch out for.. really informative.

  • Lol

  • LOLOLOLOLOL, I had an ex that was living a bromance. I will never forget the day that his best friend came to his job to hand him a Batman ring he had purchased for my boyfriend. How sweet!And, if my boyfriend hung out with me for more than one day in a row the phone calls would start pouring in. Just like a damn girl, lolololololololol. Look guys, it's ok to have a good friend but there's a limit.

  • Mike...watch this. eerily succinct with your story lol

    https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=syWJlRHpXZY

  • I'd say the only thing gay would be to "(grab their balls)"

    other than that I agree wholeheartedly

  • sounds to me like the girl is hugely insecure. She wants you home with her, not over at your guys house for a normal boys night out. That's what the waterworks and running mascara are really about, at the end of it when she can't get her way, AND its proveable nothing is "going on", she's just doing the "OMG are you gay?" thing to try to play on your natural revulsion to being accused of being gay to try to get you to "under control". Typically, a girlfriend got her on this kick...

  • I totally agree with this. Last year, I really typed into google "How to know if my boyfriend is gay," for this very reason. I guess I couldn't see why he wanted to hang out with his friends so much, which I think sounds stupid and controlling now.

    And it is very true that "the more you hang on the more he pulls away." This happened to me. I learned my lesson. I'm just happy to hear that I wasn't alone and it makes me feel a little less crazy!!!

  • What if you have a child and he always gets to go out and you don't because your always taking care of the house and kid while he parties and what if there are women there and his friend gets women to come to his parties? I'm sure that's to worry about.

  • Nah this guy isn't gay, I've heard about Bromances; they're just the ways that guys hang with other guys as mates. as for screensavers, t's something lads have grown up with and it's like a habit

  • I really don't think it's funny at all. She might have been hurt in the past by a boyfriend hiding his sexual orientation and some other things in her past. I do believe she needs to get more friends and DEFINITELY get some counseling. She needs to fix herself before she gets a boyfriend. As far as this so called "bromance," it's harmless. Perfectly fine.

  • I don't think guys are gay for doing this but I have seen guys including bfs of mine do some strange stuff with their bros.I just can't figure out men and why they do the things they do to each other, but then again guys probably wonder the exact same thing about girls and their gfs.I agree as long as he's acting stupid and not a dog with his friends and not hanging out with some other girl then its good.

  • On a side note.. Bromance is amusing and funny ;)

  • I have more dude friends than female friends, actually very few female friends. I'm not sure if it would make my boyfriend jealous if I hung out with my guy friends because I needed a break from him, but I really don't want him to feel like that. Jealousy and feeling left out just doesn't feel good. I am kinda like a female bro, and my boyfriend is my favorite bro and the one I'm in love with. So I hang with him and his guy friends, works out fine. He can grab his friends' balls, I don't care.

  • she needs to get out more lol

  • Love the story, I wouldn't be offended by a bromance. Your chick needs to seriously chill and go hang out with her girlfriends as well

  • Nice writeup bro. But the girl seem kinda loco really...

  • Amen brother.

  • I like that... This is the typa stuff that gives guys headaches... always havn to explain just havin a little guy time... Nobody ever accuses a girl wen she's hanging with her friends of being bulldykers or ho's... Good stuff.

  • Good stuff

  • That is funny. It sounds like his buddy was a little more into the bromance than he was?

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