Sexual Relationships
1 mo

Can a guy please explain why he did this?

Since I’ve been on the topic of thirsty men, I first came across this phenomenon when I was 16.

Growing up I had a massive crush on a guy I knew through family, let’s call him L. I made it obvious too.

When I was 16 I built the courage to add him on Facebook. He messaged me and said I’m beautiful and he knows I added him because I wanted to be his girlfriend. He was 17.

Then he proceeded to be “thirsty”:

He would text me early in the morning cause he was horny.
He would tell me the things he wanted to do to me when we got older and got married.

He asked me to meet up with him and said “I promise I won’t show you my dick”.

I was very upset and heartbroken and I blocked him.

Obviously I saw him again due to family. But he avoided me at all costs and wouldn’t even look me in the face when I tried to speak to him.

Til this day I don’t understand why he behaved this way.

Can someone please explain?
Updates:
1 mo
by the way I came across his profile not along ago on a dating app haha
0 2

Most Helpful Guys

  • I can explain this to you:

    This guy is basically "an idiot." That's what it comes down to. This is not "usual" or "normal" behavior for a guy. Even at 16. BUT it's behavior that fits in PERFECTLY for one specific type of guy (who I categorize as "idiots" in my own mind).

    So this is not behavior you can expect from most guys. It's behavior that tells you a guy is a shitty dude, and you might as well stop talking to him. It's never the behavior of a guy you're going to want anything to do with.

    What it comes down to is: Guys like that are fundamentally mixed-the-fuck-up when it comes to women. He just has no clue. Actually worse... he THINKS he knows how women think and what they want/like... he's just incredibly wrong in thinking that.

    However. If I put myself in the midst of "an idiot," his behavior is no mystery.

    So, in his mind: You added him because you have a crush on him. He was right about that. OK.

    In his mind. You like him. Which means YOU ARE THE THIRSTY ONE. You're clearly thirsty, because you like him. If you weren't thirsty, you wouldn't like him, or have added him. In his mind, YOU are thirsty. That's simply because a guy like this can't really separate romantic feelings from sexual desire. To a guy like this, they are the same thing. Therefore you "liking him" in his mind, means you want to fuck him, and can't stop thinking about his dick.

    That is his starting point. That is where his mind was, the day he saw you added him on facebook. It's important to keep that in mind. The rest of this only makes sense when you keep this in mind.

    When you DO understand his "starting point," then the rest of his behavior makes perfect sense (it's internally logical).

    So he wakes up in the morning, and feels horny. Usually, that's just something to keep to oneself. You don't really think: "I'm horny... who can I talk to about that." You just keep it to yourself.

    But... wait... Why keep it to yourself when there's this pretty girl who you KNOW would be turned-on to hear all about how horny you are! After all, you know she wants your dick. You know she'll be excited to hear about your horniness.

    Therefore... you receive inappropriate morning texts from him. He thought that those messages were welcome. In fact, he thought those messages would be EXCITING/AROUSING to you! (again..."idiots" are super-mixed-up about women)

    Similar logic is behind him talking about all the sexual stuff he hoped to do when he got older. In his mind... these were conversations that would clearly turn-you on. He knows you're not looking to have sex with anyone yet. But in his mind... he's totally the guy you'd WANT to have sex with if sex with anyone were on the table for you. Since you're so thirsty... obviously these sexual talks about what he wants to do in the future... are going to be exciting/arousing for you. He never doubted that. Not for a second.

    His promises not to show you his dick... were actually his attempt to be as "gentlemanly" as an idiot is capable of being. He realized that his sexual talk might make you worry that he'd try and make some sexual advances on you in-person were you to meet. Therefore, in a genuine and sincere attempt to put-you-at-ease, he assured you that "he wouldn't show you his dick."

    His heart was in the right place for this last one. He sincerely wanted to try and make you more comfortable about meeting. He understood that he might have led you to believe that he WOULD show you his dick if you two met. He waned to explicitly assure you, that you were safe-to-meet without fear of him whipping his dick-out.

    So that is this guy explained. It's probably unsatisfying. But this is what happened. Now, honestly, it really is best not to look too deeply into trying to understand idiots. Once you identify an idiot, leave it at that. The reason being... idiots are so fucking mixed-up and confused, that whatever internal logic they're operating on is irrelevant.

    You don't need to really "understand" these guys any further than to write-them-off as wrong-headed, and confused. They're to be pitied and avoided. There's not much to be gained from "examining" their behavior. It's just fucking stupid.

    • Oh my gosh. I think I finally understand things now.

    • Excellent! I'm glad I could help. 🙂

  • Really? A 17 year old? He was immature and tried to be funny while being a gentleman and you blocked him without explanation. You should have at least communicated and not ghosted. You got in touch first, he noticed you liked him, he made a mistake which could have been sorted out, but you blocked him and you're wondering why he doesn't look you in the eyes or avoids you. He's a young man now, you taught him a valuable lesson in a hard way and you lost him, you could have taught him a great lesson without losing him... Communication! I'm almost sure he'll never look your way.

    I made a mistake like that by typing 'wink' as a text while texting a girl when I was 19 at the time without knowing that she'd find it creepy. She saw asked what that was supposed to mean in a serious manner and I was nervous but she ended everything with a smile and I learned a lesson that day and we are still kinda friends.

    Remember, communication is key in any and every kind of -ship

    I'll advice you to talk with him and explain things, both of you sort things out like adults even if you don't like the guy anymore. If he decides to be an enemy then, you'll know it's not your fault.

    You're really funny... Here you are, proud and thinking you made a great decision at age 16 because you blocked a guy who wasn't an adult yet.

    Take away: COMMUNICATION IS KEY!

    • How was he being a gentleman he only talked about sec

    • Sex*

Most Helpful Girl

  • Have you considered dating outside of your religion?

    • Why’s that relevant?

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What Girls & Guys Said

1 18

  • This guy is an idiot. Plain and simple. Avoid guys like this like the plague, and don't bother speaking to them again either.

  • Okay. So first I completely understand you being annoyed with all his immature behavior, but you also have to understand why he would avoid you and not try to interact with you seeing as you blocked him without saying why, and then you try to talk to him at a family get-together like everything is all okay.

    No offense, but you are not the first woman who does this kind of thing. Even I dated a woman once who blocked me on Facebook at the time, yet in person she literally had the nerve to feel like I was wrong for not talking to her when she would try to get my attention or talk to me. I don't understand the logic in why women do this. You blocked the guy because you felt like he was hurting you or breaking your heart, but then you turn around and try to speak to him, giving no olive branch for your previous actions.

  • Religious sexual repression?

  • This is pretty obvious. He probably hoped you would respond in kind with sexually charged texts that he could get off to, or perhaps hoped you would send him sexy photos or even have sex with him. Again, enough girls play along or give the guy what he wants that he probably figured it was worth a shot.

  • I really do not know. He probably was not raised by anyone who had respect for women.

  • Can you accept the simplest answer, which is - the guy is a moron. Stupidity is rampant on this planet, and no other explanation is needed.

  • First, he was immature. Second you were an easy target that's why he did it.

    Third, just forget about someone like him.

  • I'm sorry, but what exactly did he do that was wrong? (Honest question.)

    • Not wrong but why did he act that way?

    • @itsalyssaagain He was probably just excited and he wanted to share that passion with you. Did he actually say anything that was inappropriate?

    • Yeah the sexual comments were uncalled for

    • Show All

  • Maybe because he feels ashamed of what he had said, he tought that it will work back then but suddenly he saw that he got blocked, what do you expect from a 17 year old guy? A woman wants sex through love while a guy wants sex JUST SEX or maybe sex than love...

    Personally i'm not from this type of guys, who doesn't love sex! But everything is beautiful in the right time...

    When you said: "looked me in the face..." a song came to my mind, enjoy listening to it rapunzel princess 😊

    https://www.youtube.com/embed/NR93_OUA00U

    • Haha thanks

    • You're welcome 😌

  • Well the ignoring you part is pretty obvious, he was embarrassed. At least he had some degree of shame.

    The other stuff, someone probably introduced him to sexting or told him this was the way to pick up girls. He probably said that to some girl before and she sexted with him, so he probably got used to the idea and thought the same method will work on ALL girls.

  • He was horny when he was talking to you. I think he was joking when he said he wouldn't show it to you. Thinking you would ask for it. But instead you blocked him.

  • he's an asshole...

  • Honestly, he probably asks himself that as well.
    Guys do and say stupid things when they are horny, especially around those ages.
    In other words, he was an immature horny idiot and didn't know how to start a proper relationship. So, he did the first thing that popped into his head and acted on his horny instincts.

    • Damn you men really do have it tough

    • The people we affect usually have it worse. That's why we have laws to keep us in line.

    • Do you think he still remembers me? He’s 26 now

    • Show All

  • Sounds like he's a 2D dog, & wanted to get into your pants.

  • best bet sweetie is to steer clear from him Your too smart and pretty to waste your time 😊😇

    • Thanks I blocked him on the app straight away lol

    • good girl 😁

    • Really? A 17 year old? He was immature and tried to be funny while being a gentleman and you blocked him without explanation. You should have at least communicated and not ghosted. You got in touch first, he noticed you liked him, he made a mistake which could have been sorted out, but you blocked him and you're wondering why he doesn't look you in the eyes or avoids you. He's a young man now, you taught him a valuable lesson in a hard way and you lost him, you could have taught him a great lesson without losing him... Communication! I'm almost sure he'll never look your way. I made a mistake like that by typing 'wink' as a text while texting a girl when I was 19 at the time without knowing that she'd find it creepy. She saw asked what that was supposed to mean in a serious manner and I was nervous but she ended everything with a smile and I learned a lesson that day and we are still kinda friends. Remember, communication is key in any and every kind of -ship I'll advice you to talk with him and explain things, both of you sort things out like adults even if you don't like the guy anymore. If he decides to be an enemy then, you'll know it's not your fault. You're really funny... Here you are, proud and thinking you made a great decision at age 16 because you blocked a guy who wasn't an adult yet. Take away: COMMUNICATION IS KEY!

  • He was just a bit insensitive but a normal behaviour of a 17 year old BOY.

    He was just a guy who was really interested in you and he imagined being with you even in ten years. That is pretty if he has such romantic and reliable thoughts.

    It seems that the problem was that you still wasn't fallen in live with him. If you would have liked him so much you would have been happy with his remarks.

    And the sentence with d1ck was just a joke to make you sure that he would behave like a gentleman with you.

    • It’s a weird joke

    • Yes it is

  • That's how religious guys act. Super repressed. And he's probably Muslim which means he thinks he owns women. Weird culture

  • Sadly only good men have a tough time finding a girlfriend.

    I know it’s something you can’t control but this is the truth, women like shitty men.

    what bothers me is that you complain about it.

    I’m not saying that I’m a good person but I’m not the type to throw my dk around even if a girl asked to.

    Also, women only like experienced men not virgins which makes it even worse for virgin men.

    I value sex and I’m not having it to gain experience to impress some girl.

    • If a guy told you that he likes you but he’s not your type, how would you feel and react in this situation?

    • I would be straight up

    • Why not look over his flews and give him a chance!

    • Show All

  • As soon as you say "let's call him L" we know it's a fake story.

    • It’s not fake lol

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