Can a promiscuous person change?

Question

I was a very promiscuous girl, started giving handjobs and having mutual masturbation when I was 12. Oral sex when I was 14, with many different partners. Had just turned 15 when I lost my virginity, same age I had my first threesome at a party, etc. But once I got together with my ex boyfriend I really think that I changed, don't think I'd enjoy having having multiple partners again. After I broke up with him I didn't have sex until I got together with my current boyfriend and we are together for almost 2 years now. I want to be with him for a very long time and get married in the future but if our relationship ends I'm sure that I will probably not have casual sex and will always seek a stable relationship before sex.

Anonymous · Accepted Answer

I'd say it depends. I have a friend who's really promiscuous and sexual. She's in a committed relationship with a guy and she has been faithful and loyal to him up until this point but she's told me that she wants to go back to her old ways and just have sex with random guys.

Though I do think it's possible to change. You just got to take charge of that for yourself and not be promiscuous. If you have a high sex drive it's best to find someone with a high sex drive.

Though it is said that it's harder to change after a certain age. So if you're a certain way by that age then you're more likely to remain that way. You're at a good age where you're either just out of high school or about to be so you could reinvent yourself and become the person you want to be.

PoliceLivesMatter · Accepted Answer

That's just fucking awful, seriously. There's a correlation I believe with behaviors such as these in early age and either 1) lack of parents in the household, 2) poor parenting in the household, or 3) association with bad peers. It could be a combination of all three. I personally believe that once a promiscuous person ALWAYS a promiscuous person, kind of like once a cheater always a cheater. It's a hard wired mentality that maybe can be linked to genetics. Perhaps your mother and father were this way in their past or maybe it goes back further. It's pretty fucking disgusting what you've been exposed to at such a young age, it's definitely not something I'd imagine a healthy young woman going through.

Anonymous · Accepted Answer

You're only 18. Just how addictively promiscuous could you have possibly been so far in your short life considering that you started innocently enough with oral sex at age 14 (mutual masturbation at age 12 does not count) and for the last two plus years you've been monogamous? That gives you just two or three years (14-16) plus or minus of early teen age promiscuity. Was that traumatic or what? I think you'll be fine!

Elliegirl · Accepted Answer

Sure. Just because you did something or acted a certain way before doesn’t mean you have to keep doing it. I’m sure plenty of people have been with lots of people, but after they got into a stable relationship or married have never cheated. That’s the same thing. They changed.

Paris13 · Accepted Answer

It is a Hard Habit to Kick Here, dear, but if the Right One comes Along, then Yes... One can surely Change.
However, if Something goes Wrong, then it is Normal for that Promiscuous One, hun, to go Back to the Wack, if you Know what I mean.
Good Luck. xx

kayjay87 · Answer

I think it's safe to say you have changed and matured. Good on you.  I think you value intimacy and seek looking for proper love rather than hooking up with randoms.

Felinegirl · Answer

I think your story answered your own question :)

OlderAndWiser · Answer

People who are promiscuous at a very early age are capable of changing. People who are promiscuous when they are in their 20's are less likely to change.

madhatters4 · Answer

a promiscuous person can definitely change

Imustacheuaq · Answer

Sounds like your promiscuity was really exploration. You should not hold it against yourself because society is quick to label such actions. Forgive yourself and enjoy your life, promiscuous or not.

WalterBlack · Answer

Some people here are suggesting that it was wrong or bad for you to have had multiple partners during your teenage years. What is your feeling about this, looking back? Do you have any regrets? I understand the value of committing yourself to one person when you have found a suitable mate. But I don't think that automatically makes being promiscuous prior to that commitment a bad thing.

nevermoregirl7 · Answer

Everyone should go through a slut phase. Where and when is not really of any importance.

normalice · Answer

Sure, but why would they want to?

wankiam · Answer

we all go through many phases in life

vittle1999 · Answer

A question on the above: if you have had say 10 different partners over a 4 yr period and then for next 10 years have say 5 partners for 2 years each, would that still not mean that promiscuousness is present? It's like changing your cell phone because a new one has arrived. Just curious.

Dargil · Answer

You can and you have. Do not tell anyone new about your past. You can't let it obligate or condemn you. A prehistoric rock song says: "Don't let the past remind us of what we are not now."

Tm881 · Answer

Omg, i had my first threesome when i was 18 !.. you did many funny things in a young age, so look, anyone can change but it depends on the person himself, you want to change, you have a well and a purpose (your current boyfriend) for this then you will change if you have those things, try to improve your relationship with your partner so it may still for a long time like you want.

GoodGuyBreakingBad · Answer

Yes i believe a promiscuous person can change.

Uziel_007 · Answer

You weren't promiscuous, you were just a horny teenager, lol.

FakeName123 · Answer

Everyone can theoreticaly change, but only the fewest do, because it requires the will to change and a lot of effort and self-discipline. It's difficult to break through old habits.

cth96190 · Answer

Why do you think that there is a problem with your sexual history?

LeeKenz · Answer

I think it's good that you have changed. But really? 12? 14? Why?

cebtshady · Answer

I think experiences change a person and if you learn something valuable from experiences which happens in sub conscious mind u tend to make decisions which are good for you based on experience... So to tell u in short it 50-50 ... depends on ur mood and the situations that have happened with you...