Can guys ever be happy with average?

If guys in relationships still watch porn then what is going to keep them satisfied with the average chick they are with? What would a guy want with an average girl who is way below the chicks they watch on porn? Why not get with a chick that can compete with pornstars physical appearance wise and sexually knowledgeable as such.
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Most Helpful Guys

  • Does watching cooking shows keep you from being satisfied with humbler food? Reading magazines about fancy houses prevent you from enjoying your own home? Websites about dogs trained to sniff out bombs and play the piano make you unable to love your lazy mutt?

    Porn is a fantasy; an idea of having a theoretically perfect sexual experience. And to borrow the words of a very wise man:

    "The one genuinely dangerous and immoral way of drinking wine is to drink it as a medicine. And for this reason, If a man drinks wine in order to obtain pleasure, he is trying to obtain something exceptional, something he does not expect every hour of the day, something which, unless he is a little insane, he will not try to get every hour of the day. But if a man drinks wine in order to obtain health, he is trying to get something natural; something, that is, that he ought not to be without; something that he may find it difficult to reconcile himself to being without. The man may not be seduced who has seen the ecstasy of being ecstatic; it is more dazzling to catch a glimpse of the ecstasy of being ordinary. If there were a magic ointment, and we took it to a strong man, and said, "This will enable you to jump off the Monument," doubtless he would jump off the Monument, but he would not jump off the Monument all day long to the delight of the City. But if we took it to a blind man, saying, "This will enable you to see," he would be under a heavier temptation. It would be hard for him not to rub it on his eyes whenever he heard the hoof of a noble horse or the birds singing at daybreak. It is easy to deny one's self festivity; it is difficult to deny one's self normality. Hence comes the fact which every doctor knows, that it is often perilous to give alcohol to the sick even when they need it. I need hardly say that I do not mean that I think the giving of alcohol to the sick for stimulus is necessarily unjustifiable. But I do mean that giving it to the healthy for fun is the proper use of it, and a great deal more consistent with health."

    So it is with fantasy, regardless of its nature.

    Also, to be with a subject of fantasy- a porn star, in this case- what makes him worthy of being with her? Most male viewers of porn don't pay much attention to the male actors (unless that's what they're watching for), but they realize they probably wouldn't be able to impress the women who'd experienced all that porn gives them. Beyond that, well, it's usually true that sex is the only part of a relationship that's exclusive to it- the one thing that you don't share with anyone else. But that doesn't mean it's the ONLY important part of a relationship, or even the most important. Men, when assessing a potential partner, always (or as close to it as makes no difference) consider sex as a factor. But rarely do they consider it as the only factor.

  • Honestly, pretty much everything in porn is absolutely disgusting! It’s never appealed to me because I understand one very important factor. It’s all either a lie or an allusion! Pretty much everything on every female body is fake from heavy make up, fake breasts, no pubic hair, fake butt, and skin that looks flawless when in reality it was smoothed over in a non-linear editor or photo editor. Also, porn is a further turn-off because the women aren’t acting real. They purposefully act stupid and immature so as to have no value as a human being other than to be a sex object. Porn promotes pedophilia and so many ways from making women look young and prepubescent with no pubic hair, fake high-pitched voices, referring to the man as daddy, etc. Unnatural acts such as anal, slapping, choking, ejaculating on women’s faces and in their mouth, the man acting like an animal or predator with no self control! None of this is loving, and sex was made to be an expression of true love. There isn’t anything attractive whatsoever to any aspect of it! I’ll tell you what is attractive. A woman who values herself and has self-confidence, and self-respect. A woman who is intelligent and is willing to sit down and have a deep conversation about life and anything else that may have value in life. A woman who doesn’t kick on make up and make her body into something fake through breast enlargements, unnatural elongation of the butt, no fake drawn on eyebrows, has a mature womanly look with natural pubic hair. A woman who enjoys natural vaginal intercourse where her and her husband make love. A woman who instinctually plays the traditional role of nurturing and wanting children, kind, caring, selfless. A woman who will smile and enjoy being loved by a man who respects/values her as a person while seeing her natural body as perfect just the way she is. Pornography is literally the antithesis of everything good. It spells out so much that is wrong with modern society (the selfishness and self centered entitlement, lack of real person-to-person communication) and it is the cause of why so many younger men are so sexually dysfunctional. It’s why so many people don’t want relationships and can objectify and dehumanize one another while being completely devoid of love!

    • There is absolutely nothing “average“ about a natural, beautiful, untouched, mature woman who values herself and wants to be loved. She is a queen

    • Wow!

Most Helpful Girl

  • I don't think so, it's just human nature to want better so if a guy will probably want to go for the most attractive girl he can get. If all he gets is average women, he Will probably be unsatisfied in his relationship.

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What Girls & Guys Said

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  • You seem to be going in two different directions with your question. You want to know if guys can be happy with average, and you want to know the reason guys who view porn don't just leave their relationship and find someone who meets their standard.

    Can guys be happy with average? Yes they can. It's the effort that is more valued than things out of a person's control. It's no fun being with someone who is constantly putting herself down, but a woman who is average in looks but remains an active equal participant in all aspects of the relationship is appreciated. Ask yourself whether your partner would feel you are putting in a legitimate effort in the areas that are important to him? He won't want to hear excuses (like it's normal for all women to get fat as they age). He is more likely to be considerate of you if he feels you're being considerate of him.

    Most guys who constantly view a certain type of person while watching porn don't believe they would be chosen by their ideal. It just becomes a fantasy, not something they believe could ever be real. For most guys, masturbation is more likely a stress reducer than having anything to do with intimacy. When they're stressed, they'll be more likely to choose to escape to quick fixes, and they'll choose whatever is convenient and available (alcohol, drugs, porn, etc.). If you're an actively involved supportive partner, and your partner still focuses a lot of time on porn, your partner probably isn't feeling a connection with you. Don't hold onto someone who just tolerates being with you, and don't expect others to change for you.

    • Great answer. But my partner is behaving like a selfish asshole. In the one who always wants sex and attention from him amd willing to try whatever he asks for. I have an open mind and even had naughty photos done for him so he would not need the outer sexual stimulation from other females. Fantasy or not. He is constantly sneaking the opportunity to jerk off and can get off easier with porn than with me. So of course it has left me insecure, jealous and hurt inside. Yet im still here trying new things in any attempt to please HIM. And im beginning to just feel "settled for" cause a hot chick like them wouldn't give him the time of day. Not only am i attractive from what im told by everyone but im also educated, loyal, cook and clean, cater to his every whim and REAL. BUT he would rather lose it all for a 5 min video clip of a bitch he can't ever talk to? Im so confused. I know lots of men who fantasize just about having a wife who doesn't fake headaches

    • Would you accept a job where you had to pay your employer for the privilege of working for them rather than them paying you? There's a cost for everything, but it's up to us to determine when the cost makes sense and when it doesn't. Are you viewing your partner based on what you believe his potential to be or what he actually brings to the relationship? If you don't like the package as a whole, what are your reasons for holding onto it? Never assume one positive quality makes up for multiple negative qualities.

  • Not me, no. But that has to do with attitude and mentality, not looks. I don't respect "average" minded people. They don't do anything for society. I respect good people, and hard-working people; not the mediocre, insignificant, and replaceable. That matters to me far more than looks, or dating a so-called "5 out of 10."

    As far as the porn stuff you mentioned; I don't watch porn.

  • most dudes aren't lawyers, doctors, entrepreneurs, movie stars, pro-athletes or anyone living an above average life. they are happy with being average.

    now the question is, can his woman handle him or his lifestyle being average?

  • That’s one of the many problems with porn. It trains us to desire certain things that many “normal” people don’t have. I used to look at porn here and there (don’t anymore), but the damage was already partly done. I still have lustful thoughts quite often. If I’m at the gym/beach etc and an attractive women walks by with yoga pants/bikini and a nice body, my eyes (after briefly looking at her face) often almost instantly go to everything but her face. Even her crotch - even though I can’t see her vagina, I see the flat area between her legs (and occasionally slight cameltoe) or maybe her pubic mound and that kinda turns me on sometimes because I know what’s there. I’ll start to imagine her naked and imagine having sex with her or eating her out etc.
    Yes, I have control over what I look at and what I think about; however, for years I chose to look and lust and so it basically became second nature (and porn DEFINITELY didn’t help). I often find myself comparing different women’s bodies and level of attractiveness - which I don’t want to do and I know isn’t healthy, but it’s what I trained myself to do for years, so again it kinda happens naturally. All that to say, having looked at porn in the past certainly didn’t help (even though my eyes enjoyed it; kinda like cocaine - you enjoy it in the moment, even though it’s actually detrimental). Even though I don’t look at it anymore, it definitely played a part in wiring my brain to struggle with lustful thoughts and desires etc.

    • Thank you for your honesty and different perception. It was helpful but also stuff i already suspected. Nice to hear a man actually say it rather than a website of psychologists and experts. To hear it personally from a regular guy helped me confirm some questions i had. So thank you

    • For sure. Many guys will say it’s harmless and perhaps even healthy. My long-term personal experience says otherwise, and based on conversations I’ve had with other guys, I know I’m not alone.

  • Porn isn't real, and the actors aren't all that attractive. The really beautiful women are in the movies.

  • I think that for some guys, the reason they still watch porn is because they watch stuff that they only want as a fantasy and wouldn't actually want to do in real life with someone they cared about and respected. They don't care about or respect any of the people in porn so it doesn't bother them to fantasize about some things.

    That is just my suspicion. I don't know for sure. I personally wouldn't watch it when having a partner in a relationship. I don't see the need for it. Maybe they are just obsessed with sex and think about it more often than other people do. I don't know for sure because that is not something I ask others about to know their intentions.

    • Thats my point regarding the whole "fantasy" aspect of things. When im in a relationship, that person IS MY fantasy, i adore them amd desire only them. Of course i see men that are attractive occasionally but not in a way that i instantly imagine having sex with them and risk ruining my relationship with the one i love. I feel like IF you need that much outer stimulation from fantasy AKA fake hoes, then your obviously not with the right women and she is not satisfying you so its time to move on

    • I agree. They should be focused on the person they are in a relationship with instead. I think it may also have to do with people that have a past of casual sex. They are never satisfied with one partner long term so they would either need porn or to cheat. That is a reason to always avoid anyone with a past of casual sex since they can't just stick to one person and be happy.

  • I will take an "average" looking person with a great personality any day over someone that is only pretty on the outside.
    Beauty fades and what are you left with?
    A former beauty queen with a bad attitude.

  • porn is usully fake. The women have had boob jobs and the guys have extenders on their cocks. Just because I girl does not look like a porn star does not make her average.

  • Porn is just eye candy. Trust me, men are very content with some incredibly average women.

  • Because us guys know we are not unrealistic models ourselves and we just want a woman who is fun to be around and can get our dick hard.

  • For starters, I don't want to date a pornstar. Second, I prefer incest porn, and I have a sister and a mother, as well as a female cousin. I have ABSOLUTELY NO interest in having sex with any of them. I still like that in porn. Basically, porn is something that I don't have and, probably, don't want in real life, so why would I want a pornstar-level girl when I don't want the scenarios I watch?

  • Men do not compare pornstars (fantasy) to girlfriends (real life). Just as we won't expect our partners to want a ridiculously sized penis like in porn movies.

  • Who says you're average? And who is the guy to judge you by making any comparison to someone like that. I mean, do you compare the huge cocks in porn to his? Here's a true fact about me - (IMHO) I've dated/in relationships with some pretty hot chicks. Also, enjoyed some middle of the road chicks. A lot of the time it is more fun to me to completely blow out and thoroughly satiate an average chick - especially a married white woman. by the way, reach out if you want to talk further

  • It's only natural for guys to watch porn at one time or another. Don't let it bother you