Can I still be a conservative if I had sex with more than 100 partners?

[Anonymous]

[Anonymous]

Imagine this: you're in a haunted mansion, surrounded by ghouls and ghosts. Suddenly, a figure emerges from the shadows - it's Ronald Reagan, but he's not quite himself. He's grown tentacles and his eyes are glowing red.

As you approach, you realize that he's holding a whip made of the Constitution and he's ready to punish you for your sexual indiscretions. But just as he's about to strike, a horde of zombie sex workers emerge from the floorboards, all moaning in unison.

They surround you, their eyes filled with lust and hunger. Suddenly, they pounce on you, their bodies contorting in impossible ways as they ravage you in a frenzy of blood and cum.

But then, a voice echoes through the room - it's Ann Coulter, and she's come to save you. She wields a crucifix made of dildos and banishes the sex zombies back to the underworld.

As you catch your breath, Ann looks at you sternly and says, "You can still be a conservative, but you better start living by the values you preach, or else you'll end up in the hands of those sexual deviants again."

And just as you think it's over, a giant, throbbing elephant emerges from the floor, ready to take you on a wild political ride. Will you embrace your conservative values and ride the elephant to victory, or will you succumb to your sexual desires once again? The choice is yours, baby.

[BoobSlayer]

Your body is yours to explore, embrace, and love. Let your beautiful breasts, boobs, tits, coconuts, melons, fried eggs, and milk monsters guide you in creating your own path and understanding of conservatism and self-love.

[LazerBean]

Politically, yes. Socially, no.

[Asker]

I can’t be socially conservative? Wasn’t this tradition?

[LazerBean]

No, old people look down on whores.

[Avicenna]

I don’t see why not

[Dargil]

Did they all vote Republican?

[Asker]

Probably about 5% of them.

[Dargil]

Perhaps they should envy you for getting a large popular vote.

[SolitarySolace]

Did any of them try to falsely accuse you of rape?

[Asker]

Nope but a lot of other drama has happened.

[CuriousMufuxka]

You may have a number of diseases..

[Asker]

I’m clean rn.

[NYlatefun]

You’re def not sexually conservative. But if you define yourself as socially, politically or other type of conservative, sure, why not?

[Mallic00]

FUCK no.

[Anonymous]

Conservative = you blame the person who fired the gun.

Liberal = you blame the company who manufactured the bullet.