Can Incest be Beneficial?

[nanook12]

TRIGGER WARNING CONTAINS TONES OF INCEST AND UNDERAGE SEX. During the age of 11-12 my mother, 32 at the time, started dating a 17 year old high school student. Even at the age of 11-12 I knew that the relationship was illegal, and it was strange having a male figure around me that was old enough to be my brother. After the male figure turned 18 him and my mother married, and I had a 18 year old stepfather when I was barely 12 years old. Their relationship lasted about 3-4 years and was rocky as hell. There was several physical abuses toward myself and my mother as well as lots of poverty, and I caught and heard them having sex several times. My stepfather even flaunted it to me that he was "boning my mom" several times over the years. Looking back now, it feels like I was cucked by my mom and my older brother. After their divorce my mother became an out call stripper because she was a single with three with kids. She wore revealing clothes around the house. I was age 14-15 during this time and had started high school. In high school and middle school I was extremely shy and socially awkward. It was so bad that even when other male friends or teachers tried to talk to me I would completely freeze. The most I could do was nod or shake my head in agreement or disagreement. If the opposite sex tried to speak to me, I would horribly fumble out random words unrelated to the conversation, freeze and stare, or walk away at a brisk pace. At this same time period my hormones were completely out of control. Sometimes masturbating 4-6 times a day. I wanted nothing more that to experience sex and affection with a fellow female student. Knowing that there was no way I was going to get girl to talk to me due to my severe social shyness problems, I developed an attraction toward my mother. I started spying on her getting dressed and masturbated to thoughts about her. I made several attempts towards my mom. Even as far as flat out telling her face to face that "I wanted to have sex with her" when I was around age 17-18. I ended up staying a virgin all throughout high school, and the experience damaged me a lot. I have very low confidence talking to the opposite sex, depression, and male masculinity issues. Reflecting on the whole ordeal, I now realize how important sex and affection for a young male at those crucial stages of development. Accordingly, I think it is okay incest between an adult and an underage child in cases similar to mine. My mom was practically cucking me with someone young enough to be my older brother. Then she started stripping and revealing herself around the house to a teenager with hormones raging. Since I was so shy and socially awkward during that period I feel like if my mom would have help sexually satisfy my urges, then I would have less issues with masculinity, depression, and confidence today. Now I am aware that this is massively controversial, and there is no way this would be accepted or decriminalized in our modern era; however, in the far flung future, (100 to 200 years) cases such as mine may people may see that it is possible for incest to be beneficial between a parent and child. Analyzing myself upon my own thoughts about all this, I am not sure if I just have an extremely open mind, extremely wrapped mind, or both.