Can someone help?

I am in really difficult situation. I am in a relationship with a woman for almost two years now. But I have been questioning my sexuality since I was a teen boy. I have a sister and I have been wearing her panties (I love wearing them), also I have been experimenting with my butt.. And I have fantasies about men. All of this since I was like 14 or 15 years old. I did one blowjob, when I was 18 years old. I liked it, but I was afraid and ashamed to do more and even tho I wanted more and I wanted to meet other men, I couldnt make myself to do it. I was a virgin since my 22 year. Then I met this girl, we fell inlove, she was my first and only and we are still together. I love her. At first I thought that these desires about men were just a period, because I didn't think about them at first, but they came back and now I am sort of living a lie.. I am happy with my girl, but I am not satisfied, I crave and desire men.. So I dont know what to do and what I am exactly.. I am afraid to talk to my girl about this, because she will probably leave me..
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AI Bot Choice

Superb Opinion
  • Thanks for inviting me here to give my opinion. :)

    First and foremost, your happiness is all that matters. You are not in charge of other peoples' emotions. So I suggest talking seriously with your girlfriend first before anyone else. She might want to break up or she might want to stay together, that's for you two to decide. You might like men and women or men a little more than women, I'm not sure. But experimenting should be allowed!

    I know you love your girlfriend but she should be the one you talk about this with since it will affect her the most. Let her know that you still love her but you're questioning yourself and need to experiment. Remember: your happiness comes first. No one wants to be in a relationship with someone who isn't happy with themselves.

    • Thank you for your amazing answer and for your support... It gives me hope for the future when I see that there is people like you on that earth! I will try to talk to her and then I will see what will happen...

    • I'm so glad I could help! Definitely let me know what happens!

    • Thank you once again... I will try to talk to her this week.. But I am afraid.. I dont know what to expect..

Most Helpful Guys

  • I will try and help.
    Starting with your girlfriend, maybe throw out some test questions to figure out how she feels about gay and bi and crossdressers. Based on those answers proceed. If she is against it all, you may have to put the feelings away if you want to be with her.
    There are many-many men in your spot. Many lost their entire families, friends, job, etc. because they felt that they were a woman or gay or whatever.
    AT your age, it would be easy to fall into the gay world, dress like a girl, and get attention, especially if you are cute. I would caution you about getting to deep into it.

    Finally - think about where you would want to be in 10 - 20 - 30 years from now.
    I dress, but I am older and single, and also belong to a great group of crossdressers where I have seen what the results of what you are going through.
    Be smart...

  • Hey it’s understandable for a lot of repressed feelings to come out later in life that’s just a part of growing up so don’t worry too much about it Okay.


    As for how you feel I mean have you ever just taken in the assumption that you may be a bisexual trans as in you enjoy men and women sexually and enjoy wearing women’s clothing. Which again is perfectly fine everyone has a right to be whoever they want to be and express their sexuality.


    That being said lying to your woman is not OK and you need to find a way to have a sit down conversation with her and explain to her how you’ve been feeling all of these years.


    Here’s a question are you sexually attracted to your woman at all?

    • Thank you for your answer, mate. Well, I can say that I was for sure and a lot at first.. Now I am not so much.. I can still do the "work", but I do it like an obligation, if you get me...

    • I see well it’s definitely a switch then. Never the less you’re still going to have to figure out your own path in this. I can’t say it will be easy, but if you make up your mind on what you want it will certainly bring you that much closer to who you ultimately will be. All that being said you should talk with her and good or bad accepting what comes of it and moving forward is your and honestly anyone’s only real way to find true happiness. Some pitfalls to be careful for let’s say she does accept you for everything that you are, and you both come to the terms that it would be better for you not to be together. Don’t hold her back from her own happiness; because she at least deserves that for herself as well as you do for yourself. All in all I wish you luck like I said I don’t think the path is going to be an easy one but in the end it will probably be very rewarding for you both personally and otherwise. Just remember to breathe and be confident in who you are and who you want to be and you should be fine in the end. You’re welcome for all the advice and I wish you luck in moving forward with this stage of your life.

    • Also please don’t stick yourself with the title of bisexual trans just because somebody else said it really develop on your own wants and needs because only by the end of it will you figure out what you really want. Again good luck

    • Show All

Most Helpful Girl

  • I wouldn't hesitate with leaving her to find what you're really sexually attracted to, if you love her and she loves you too, she'd most definitely accept your decision and most probably would be understanding about the situation. Don't ever feel ashamed with such a thing because it happens in life, it's great to explore different things in life. Just make it clear to her that you have enjoy every second you've spent with her but you feel like you might have an attraction to men and you'd like to experiment! Nothing to be too scared about, I know it's easier said than done though. I hope everything goes well for you.

    • Thank you for your answer! I know you are probably right, but I dont want to lose her, I am afraid of the future and maybe I am afraid of that I might be really and fully gay... It's so confusing..

    • No worries and there is always the chance that she'd be happy to be friends with you regardless of the situation. Some people are really loving and accepting, others not so much. I don't blame you for being confused, it happens to the best of us, it'll all just take some time and you're bound to begin to find yourself and what you love.

    • Yes, you are right... Thanks again. But what is your honest opinion, from what you readed? I mean do you think I am really gay if I am feeling like this?

    • Show All

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What Girls & Guys Said

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  • I'm sure this woman does not want to share you with men. Even if she loves you.
    You need to move on and break up with her.
    You can stay good friends, but you can't stay lovers. I've been there.
    Find out what you ultimately want. And BE CAREFUL. Safe sex only. Esp. if you're doing anal. AIDS is still out there and more easily caught through anal sex. You don't want a chronic illness.

  • It sounds like you’re feeling torn between choosing your girlfriend and your sexuality. That does sound difficult because it’s clear that you love her and don’t want her to leave you... but you wish that you were with a man at the same time. Maybe something you can consider is listing your values and ranking them in terms of importance. Do you feel happier staying with your girlfriend or potentially meeting a man? If you were to choose one over the other, how happy do you think you’d be? You are capable of knowing yourself and being true to yourself. It just takes some exploration.

  • Why do you care if she leaves if you are into men? By the way, you not sort of living a lie, you are living a full blown lie. Let her go until you can figure out if you want a man or woman, or both. She deserves at least that.

    • I know that you are right...

  • Well, the bottom line here is that something needs to change if you're unhappy. It's not fair to either of you to continue this relationship without the whole truth being known. Does your girl have any idea about your past with regard to being attracted to/fantasies about men?

    • No, she dosent know or suspect about this, because in reality I am a manly man, no one of the people who knows me will suspect that..

    • Being gay or bi don't have anything to do with how manly you are. Manhood is about your character. Are you sexually attracted to her in the same way you are men? Or do you just have a close bond and understanding of one another, but you don't see her the same way sexually?

    • You have a point, yes... Well I can say that I was sexually attracted a lot to her before, but now not so much... When we have sex I wonder what and how she feels and I wish I was in her place..

  • You need to be honest with her. It’s not fair to keep her in a relationship if she can never satisfy you.

  • Honestly if you tell her, she will probably leave you. Try just telling her that you secretly have a butt kink. Go out and buy a strap, and tell her to fuck you. She might be into that without her even knowing, but if she refuses then just break up. If you aren’t sexually satisfied in the relationship, and you tell her but she just won’t try and fix that, then just break up. There’s nothing more to it. Go out a find a guy to be with if that’s truly what you want.

  • If you feel you are bi gay etc then give yourself time to explore. It's not fair on your partner to live s lie. Find out what you want first then follow that path

  • I'm sorry that you're going through this. Is your girlfriend open minded? Do you think she will understand you and support you in this? She will probably be hurt or shocked but you need to find a way to tell her without hurting her as much as possible and let her know that you truly love her and don't want to lose her.

    • Thank you for your answer... Well, we didn't talk much about things like this, so I can't be usre, but she is nice person... I dont know how she will react.. I know that she will be hurt and shocked, yes... Maybe dissapointed too, so I dont know what to do...

    • If you're not yet sure on how to tell her what's on your mind give it some time. This will be hard for both so you need to be well prepared before you talk to her.

  • Dude you gotta be honest with yourself and everyone els. Sure she's gonna leave you, it's gonna happen in anycase cause you have desires for men. So tell her so she can move on maybe you 2 can stay friends.

    • So you are sure that I am gay... 🙄

    • We'll if lusting after men and sucking a guy is still not proof to you i don't know what is.

    • Having sex with someone of the same gender or fantasies about doing so don't necessarily make you gay. Nobody but YOU can determine what your sexual identity is, and there are many to be had. Have you ever heard of the Kinsey Scale? It's a scientific & psychological tool developed to help people identify and understand their own sexuality.

      kinseyinstitute.org/.../kinsey-scale.php

      I think this will help you out with your identity crisis, at least I very much hope so. ❤ Just remember that no matter who you love, fuck or marry, you are an important and infinitely valuable person. 🍀🌈🏅

  • You are bisexual. You need to talk with her. If she truly loves you, she will understand. You can offer her to make experiments in bed. Maybe she will like this. Don' t be ashamed of it. In my country, Lithuania, gays, bisexuals were bullied for a long time, but now the situation slowly changes. People starts to understand that it is normal. I like boys with glasses and it is my desire xd

  • be honest and live your truth if she truly cares she will support you

  • Break up with her and do anal with guys

    • I dont want to lose her, but I think I will want to do anal with guys, yes...

    • Break up with her

  • Well, you should be honest to your girlfriend. Its better to talk rather than pretending something against your will. This way you feel relax.

  • Step up PrEP up with Descovy for PrEP. If you like men you have to move on.

  • You appear to be bisexual. You could tell her. Make clear that you still love her and want to be with her, but you also feel sexually attracted to men. I can't see her leaving you just because you are bisexual.

  • So dumper and get yourself some vitamin D

  • If you truly love her you need to tell her the truth

  • maybe u just a crossdresser
    if u love her then stay together i guess

  • everyone is different, she maybe upset at first but can deal with it or she might think use should separate. Whatever happens im sure its for the best you both deserve to have a honest and happy relationship. I think you should speak to her about it.