I can't CUM with any girl. Need advice please!! I can masterbate and cum easily... I'm confused!!?

I can't cum with a woman during sex or BJ, HJ or anything from the girl. BUT I can masterbate easily within 3-4mins on my own with my RIGHT hand... I usually masterbate 1-2 times a day. I don't know why, Any advice why? And how to fix this problem? Thanks so much.
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Most Helpful Guys

  • I've been there, dude. You get so used to your hand because you're always in control. With a woman, you aren't. My advice is to relax. It's going to take time but you need to forget all those sex positions you might have seen in p*rn or heard from friends. You need to find a position that's comfortable for you. I suggest spooning where you're behind her as you both lay on your sides, with her back to you. This allows you to save your strength. I also suggest keeping your legs closed to put pressure on your urethra during sex. This can help build up for an orgasm and works with blowjobs and handjobs.

    Finally, cut down on the jacking off. On days you know you'll be with a girl, take a break. And, if you must jack off, learn some patience, damn it. Sex with girls needs to last more than 3-4 minutes. Watch a video or fantasize and slowly jack off (maybe use your left hand for a change of pace). Let the climax build slowly so you can experiment with pacing.

    Imagine you're getting a blowjob from your girl. You'd want it to last as long as possible but also build to a crescendo since, if it takes forever, she'll get frustrated and stop.

    Oh, one more thing. Work with the girl to find out what works best. For example, I find that if a girl closes her legs during spooning, it makes her pussy tighter and that can help build up to climax. And it will only help to service her. Give her some oral sex or finger her clit during sex. When she's really into it, you will be, too.

    • thank you so much!

  • I believe you're masturbating too much. Do you also watch a lot of p*rn? If you masturbate too much on your own with poor masturbation habits and lots of p*rn, it can desensitize you to other ways of stimulation. My advice is to cease the p*rn if you do watch it, stop using your hand to masturbate, get a Fleshlight or something that is more akin to what a vagina feels like and if you must use your hand, use lube. You're into you head too much, you need to unlink mental stimulation from physical stimulation.

    • if he's been on the too much p*rn diet, getting a fleshlight isn't going to help. a fleshlight may feel more natural, but that isn't going to help him stop, its only going to encourage things. you need to do one of two things in my opinion. change your viewing prefrences and frequency, or stop all together. switching to pictures as opposed to videos is a major help if you just can't stop, but really, you just neet to stop all together for the best results.

    • I agree and disagree. Stopping completely would be good as it gets the brain a chance to correct itself. But he also needs to get used to some other kind of stimulation if he's going to continue masturbating, something more natural feeling, hence I suggested the Fleshlight.

Most Helpful Girls

  • Could it be that you've been masturbating far too long? that only the touch of your hand is stimulating? perhaps you should refrain from doing that for quite a while so that someone else's touch can turn you on. good luck with that buddy! :]!

  • give your little guy a break and maybe things will be much better...

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What Girls & Guys Said

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  • Masturbating is your problem man. Your imagining everything in your head and it's something your mind and body have come accustomed to. So when you are with a girl it one doesn't live up to your minds expectation and to isn't what gets it to that point. Stop for a while and try to be more intimate with women by itself. there's and awesome video by a guy named Elliot Hulse on YouTube and he actually addresses it. I can't find it at the moment but if I do I'll post the link.

    • Plus an added benefit of not masturbating is after 7 days your body has more testosterone which one adds libido and two if you work out will give you benefits of adding muscle.

  • death grip no lube by any chance?

  • like others have said take a break from masturbation. you can condition your body through repetitive action to respond to a certain stimulus. so in your case your body has become conditioned to respond to masturbation because you do it so much.

    guarantee if you stop for a few weeks your body will begin to re-train it's response to various stimuli

    • Thanks man!

  • Do you masturbate with a tight grip and no lube to p*rn?

    • Yes i do Bluexqueen

    • Get some lube and masturbate with a gentle grip. About as tight as a vagina. Train yourself to orgasm this way and you can orgasm during partner sex. Because what you're doing is ruining it basically. And are you circumcised?

  • How long has this persisted?

  • What kind of thoughts are in your head while you're being intimate? Are you feeling pressured? Nervous? Concerned about whether or not you'll be able to ejaculate?

  • Well this certainely is not normal and not something I could ever imagine happening to me, dont masturbate for several days or a week, it will be much more sensative, also if you are cut you may have a loss of sensation there.

    • What do you mean by "cut" man? Thanks

    • circumcised, if you dont have a foreskin you will most likely have reduced nerves in the head of your penis...

  • Wth? Howcome that happen? Do you get too nervous while it? Pressure?

    • This is the most likely cause.

    • Yeaa bruh. Dont get nervous, its just sex lol

  • My two cents is you may masterbate too much and you have conditioned yourself to only get off when you are doing your standard. That has definitely happened to me in the past. Lay off for for a while maybe a couple weeks and see if that helps.

    Also, if you do something specific when you masterbate, like play with your nipples, play with your balls. Ask your partner to do the same when having sex.

  • Have some control man!! Stop masturbating!!! It'll get better that way.

    • He needs to change his masturbation technique.

  • Slow down on the masturbation and see if it changes.

  • I went through the same thing. Withhold from masterbation at least 4 or 5 days before you get intamate again. If it doesn't work try longer. Don't touch yourself or look at pornogrsphy either. It will be difficult but just try your hardest.

  • The reason you can't is probably because you masterbate twice a day (p*rn right?). Need to get off that. You'll find that you enjoy sex a lot more when you don't watch p*rn or masterbate. And you'll come for sure.

  • Stop jerking off. You've gotten to used to your hand, and now you can't cum from any less perfect stimuli.

  • whoa whoa whoa, the average male pops off in around 2 minutes, the average female needs 12.

    I feel kinda like you're looking this gift horse in the mouth.

  • Stop masturbating for a while see if that works.