my boyfriend wanted to try some new stuff this week and he suggested i used a ball gag. i accepted but i couldn’t even enjoy our time together cause i kept thinking about how fucking ridiculous i looked and that he probably thought i looked silly. any tips on how to become more confident during sex? i want him to think i look good, i don’t want him to think i look goofy or ugly
I don't think it's a 'confident during sex' problem. It's a 'letting go and being comfortable with the idea of looking ridiculous' problem.
I'm not quite sure how to help to be honest. I can tell you one thing though:
Your boyfriend 100% is NOT thinking you look ridiculous. No part of him is thinking that, if this was his request.
BUT
If you "feel like you look ridiculous" then... funnily enough, you can ACTUALLY end up coming off as ridiculous... just because you're consciously worried about it, and trying/hoping not to look ridiculous.
It's like don't seem ridiculous... unless you 'burst the illusion' and start worrying that maybe you do... at which point... you actually start to seem ridiculous.
I think it's a 'letting go' problem.
But it's one that truly isn't there unless you think about it. quite literally.
I think it's like almost anything. If you step back, and look at it out of context (even just, regular vanilla sex) it IS fucking ridiculous. Sex... IS ridiculous. But we tend not to see it that way while engaged-in-it because we 'let go and enjoy the experience without analyzing it from a birds-eye view.
Anything sexual requires people to IGNORE the inherent ridiculousness of what they're doing (look at the noises and faces people make during sex for example. Freaking RIDICULOUS. Sex always requires a letting go, and immersion in 'the moment' and a suspension of... worrying about looking ridiculous.
Does... it help to tell you that you definitely look equally ridiculous during... every single sexual thing you and your boyfriend do. How ridiculous do you look giving a blowjob? pretty ridiculous I'll bet... if you step back and think about it.
I do hope this helps you become more comfortable with letting go, and enjoying the ball-gag...(rather than making you self-conscious about looking ridiculous during every single other aspect of your sex-life). But... sex and everything that surrounds it... really is all... pretty ridiculous if you really think about it. So... try not to think about it.
Good luck 🙂
I don't think it has anything to do with your confidence... I mean if your uncomfortable with something like a "Ball Gag" then that perfectly fine. If want to feel more confident, then don't do shit that makes you feel uncomfortable.
I am an extremely confident person, but there is no fucking way I would wear a ball gag during sex... that just doesn't feel right to me. I understand that some people get into that thing, and there is nothing wrong with that... but I ain't doing it. It has nothing to do with my confidence but has everything to do with my own sense of self-respect.
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What's Your Opinion? Sign Up Now!At the time of fornication, men do not usually pay attention to these aspects.
Wait... Is that what you feel with the gag ball or you always suffer this?
Well I suggest that do not over think it. Do what women do best and give into the emotional experience in the thrill of the unknown. You'll find out either you like it or you don't.
Then better yourself.
No point beating yourself up instead of doing what you gotta do to gain some self confidence.
Whatever it is, work on that
Ball gags are for apartments to stay quiet….. relax..
If he’s getting hard ans cuming, you look just fine. stop over thinking darling
Well if he suggested it, he probably thought you looked sexy with it. You are not going to look perfect all the time during sex. Sometimes you just have to get down and dirty.
Relax and focus on the moment. If not you will likely never have an O or greatly enjoy sexual activities.
Talk to him and explain how you feel.
You could chop his dick off with a butchers knife and ram it up his ass and you could pour gasoline on yourself and light yourself on fire and chop your tits off with a knife
It is normal to feel uncomfortable using a gag ball. If you aren't comfortable with it, talk to him about it and don't do it. Gag balls are only for those who are into that form of kink, which is NOT most people.
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