Can’t get over girlfriend’s sexual past?

Very common and I guess simple situation. I’ve been talking to this girl for some time now and I really like her. I could definitely see a future with this person. I’ve managed to stay a virgin my whole life but she’s told me that she’s had sex with 2 people and was even at one point trying to have a child with one of the guys. Her sexual past keeps on making me uncomfortable and eating at me. What should I do? We’re waiting til marriage to have sex.

I would really appreciate anyone’s thoughts on this. I really love this girl and would love to marry her one day but I feel very uncomfortable with this.. I don’t know if it’ll get better with time. I dunno. Thanks for reading this and I’m looking forward to your responses. The idea of being intimate with her makes me cringe a bit as a result.
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Superb Opinion

  • The higher the body count, the higher the risk to get an infection of some kind. While 2 body counts may not be high in the eyes of a number of people, it is still 2 too high if you want to be sure that she will not infect you with STD/STI.

    In view of the fact that she tried to get pregnant in the past, she must have copulated without any protection and that is where the danger lies.

    If you feel uncomfortable about her body count, then you should avoid pursuing this relationship because this will always nag you and make you even more uncomfortable.

    Unfortunately, our modern society is so focused on fornicating that it makes it really difficult to find a decent person that has some morals and is willing to wait till marriage before getting intimate.

    Talk with her about the fact that her past is bothering you and if you cannot find a consensus that makes you feel more at ease, then you have no other choice than to move on and try to find this one person that still has moral values.

Most Helpful Guys

  • your feelings are perfectly valid and don't let others gaslight you as being insecure and childish.

    that being said, the choice is yours if you feel uncomfortable with this which no one should be blaming you for.

    here's some questions you should try to know the answer to. is she giving it up to you like she did her other 2 partners? what rules did she set for the other 2 partners?

    if she had sex with the other 2 guys on a hookup/ONS or after 3 dates, she better not be making you wait till marriage to have sex.

    if she tried to have a child with one of the previous guys, she better be trying to have a child with you too. consistency of rules matter. if you ain't getting the same treatment or better treatment than her previous 2 partners in regards to sex, then she doesn't see you the same or better than them. rules are broken for the alpha and made for the beta and you don't want be taken advantage of.

    if you're the type of person who is waiting till marriage to have sex, then your values simply don't align. there's gonna be relationship problems down the road which you're gonna have to actively be trying to mitigate even though she's the one who has lost all leverage and should be trying to prove herself.

    understandably you are in love and love often blinds us to red flags we don't see. you'll have to analyze this carefully and not let the gaslighters get into your head. good luck.

  • If you, as you say, cannot get over it and if being intimate with her makes you cringe, then you have only two choices. You cannot change that she has had sex with people. So, your first choice it to move past it. If you love her and she loves you, then continue the relationship and let her past be her past. Look at it this way: she's choosing you. Isn't that enough for you? Your second choice is to acknowledge how you feel and that virginity is more important to you than this woman. That's a fair opinion and I respect that. In that case, graciously and kindly end the relationship. Be honest. Don't tie this woman down with your beliefs; let her go.

    My gut is telling me that you can't get past this (and that's okay) and you should end the relationship.

Most Helpful Girl

  • I think it's up to you, but really you should have figured all this out way earlier into the relationship. Personally, I would not have dated someone who is not a virgin while I was a virgin.

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What Girls & Guys Said

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  • She don't worth waiting until marriage for, do you really okay with marrying a non-virgin?

    Can’t get over girlfriend’s sexual past?
  • Then don't date her. Go date some young girls and find a virgin.

    If it is bugging you then it won't go away. Don't torture yourself and her by trying to date her while picturing her with meat in her mouth and getting railed by other guys gets to you.

    You are going to have to date and marry a virgin...

    or you'll have to have a phase where you just date around and have a bunch of casual sex to where you can get to where you can seriously think about settling down with a girl and not care about her past and think about it because you will have had a bunch of women and done a lot of stuff and you won't be thinking about what she's done.

    Those are a couple of logical solutions.

    Or date her and be miserable all the time and always have this in the back of your mind.

  • I felt that "tried to have a child with one of them". Feels terrible and I would have gone away if I was you. But if you think it is a great person, it may worth to try to change your feelings for the better. But if not, stop wasting your time and look for someone else!

    • Ikr that child with one of them personally made me cringe 😭

  • She has been with two other guys, so most likely won't be wondering what it would be like to have sex with someone else like a virgin might.
    She has rejected 2 other guys for whatever reasons and seems willing to try with you. You like her and can see a future in it.. go for it.. sexual compatibility is rarely instant and will doubtless take while to develop and sexual attraction is not the only attraction that should not be an issue

  • If you cannot get past it you need to move on. If you push forward without working it out yourself it will only get worse over time.

  • It's rare to find a girl with 2 or fewer sexual partners

    • Thank you for sharing this with me.

  • Be grateful she’s only been with two guys. A lot of women in this generation are sleeping with everything with a dick between their legs.

  • I assume you had to ask her out and hit on her

  • Incorrect usage of the word gaslight again. Apparently no one here understands language.

  • Your acting like a child,

    if i was you, Id take her to the bedroom. Then take her out and treat her like a queen.

    If your disturbed by 2 guys she slept with, you would hate to hear my and my wife’s sexual past.

    • Having a different value system than you doesn't mean he is acting like a child.

    • @jayhams Im a very forgiving non judgmental person, Forgive others for their shortfalls the way you would like to be forgiven for yours. A girl slept with a couple guys, so what……. doesn't mean she's not dateable, or marrigeable

  • Damn, stop being so childish and insecure.

    • Like rubbing makeup on your face?

    • Having a different value system from you doesn't mean the person is childish or insecure. Having a narrow perspective is childish if anything.

    • Crying you were used for sex is childish if anything.

  • Dude, two bodies is not bad at all compared to most women these days.

    • Thanks bro. It’s crazy how powerful words are. Just hearing that has helped me to look at the situation differently