Can you help me understand my fwb?

[Anonymous]

OK, me and my friends with benefits have been kicking it for 3 years now.We are really close like we went from renting a hotel every weekend to him basically living with me.I have 4 kids and their dad isn't at all in the picture he is in prison for a long time.Anyway, I have bought my friends with benefits 2 valentines gifts and one x mas gift.I have only met his daughter once like 2 years ago.He has never bought me anything.Until this mothers day which I'm not complaining at all I'm just confused on why in 3 years why would he pick mothers day when he isn't my kids father to buy me a mothers day card.And what he wrote in it had nothing to do with mothers day.He said I know I don't say it but thank you for being in my life and he put at the top to my boo-boo?

[RudeAwakening]

Hi,

Actually sending a mother's day card to someone is easy and non-committal. It could allow him to be nice and genuine without sending out the wrong message. There's a reason why you didn't get a Valentines & Christmas gift from him. Those gifts signify something. Valentines gifts are for lovers, and although anyone can give anyone a Christmas gift perhaps he didn't want to send the wrong message to you. After all, you were friends and then you both decided to throw sex into the friendship, which means he was getting the goods without having to exclusive to you. Sometimes that can lead to a beautiful relationship, but often it leads to the guy enjoying the benefits for free( meaning no relationship constraints). Most guys love getting the goodies and being able to go about their business afterwards guilt free.

If you feel more for him than friendship now, then you should let him know, and stop giving away your gifts for free. By now the consequence for having a sexual relationship with him should be commitment if that's what you want. Just keep in mind that he may not want the same thing. And if that's the case at least you won't have to wonder anymore.

By the way, by not writing anything in a Mother's Day card about you being a great mother can also be a sign of being non-committal.

All in all, the best course of action for you to take is to ask him what's going on, and to clarify what you to share right now, and also explain what you want from him.

Hope this helps!

Rudes

You can also find me on my blog: therudeawakening7.tumblr.com

[Elcristoph]

Hello,

Theres a good chance that he's been thinking about saying that to you for a little while now but hasn't been able to tell you, so when others day came around he saw it as an oppertunity to let you know..

As a result I would say don't read into the whole mother day reference as this was just a simple and relativly stress free way for him to let you know what was on his mind..

Hope that helps

Good Luck

-Chris

[Asker]

Thanks,thats what I was thinking also.

[Anonymous]

Perhaps it took him this long to realize what he had and how lucky he is to have you. Its very possible.