Condomless Sex, Love and Intimacy

[Anonymous]

I'm on the pill, and my boyfriend and I don't use condoms. When we have intercourse, he always stays inside me as he is having his orgasm.

Speaking as a woman, I always find this a very powerful, intimate experience. When we first began having sex, there was a huge increase in our closeness and intimacy level. Then, shortly afterward, when we quit using condoms, these feelings took another huge leap in intensity.

I’m not talking here about the purely physical sensations. Obviously these are much better without condoms, especially for him. Also the spontaneity is wonderful—we can move from making out to foreplay to intercourse without any interruption, just getting closer and closer until we merge together, which is incredibly romantic. But even more than that, I’m talking about our emotional closeness and involvement. I have thought about why and how this is, and (after getting my boyfriend’s thoughts and input) I have come to several conclusions.

First is the matter of self-esteem. I have always had a very negative view of myself and my body image, and to know (and physically feel) my boyfriend’s increasing passion and excitement as we make love is very affirming for me. I can feel his orgasm much better when he isn’t wearing a condom (don’t know why that should be because I can’t actually feel his semen being ejaculated, but I do feel his penis pulsing when he cums), and when it happens I just feel this gush (if you’ll pardon the expression) of intimacy and closeness. It makes me feel accepted, and it makes me feel beautiful, and it makes me feel sexy—three things that normally it has been very hard to feel about myself.

It’s also a matter of trust. To know that he trusts me enough to ejaculate inside me—to trust that I’m taking my pills correctly and so looking out for him—makes me feel incredibly close to him. And it works both ways: I’m reminded that I trust him enough to let him do it—that if an accident happens he isn’t going to cut and run. I think this is intensified by the fact that by this point in intercourse I’ve usually just had an orgasm myself, so I’m dealing with all the oxytocin, the bonding hormone that my orgasm released. Then, as he ejaculates in me at that moment and I think of our mutual trust and commitment, I just get these warm, gooey feelings towards him. (Again, I know these adjectives suggest semen, but they’re really the best way I can describe my emotions). Sometimes—not very often but now and then. The feelings are so strong at that moment I’ll actually cry a little bit (i.e., tears of happiness).

The point I’m trying to make is that condomless sex is about so much more than just better physical sensations, at least for my boyfriend and me. It brings us closer together at a deep emotional level. What I’m wondering is how many other women, and men for that matter, who have condomless sex with the man finishing inside experience something like this.

[MementoMori_]

You made some interesting points. And even as a man I can understand all the things you said you feel and can feel the counterpart to those feelings if I cum inside a woman with no condom. What I mean is that I feel the yang to the yin experience you described. I can feel HER having those feelings... which of course is a very powerful source of pleasure for me too.

I've not heard this discussed much, if ever, but it is something I have thought about occasionally. To me there is something overwhelmingly erotic, sexy and emotional about cumming inside a woman without a condom (as opposed to cumming on or in her some other way which can also be incredibly erotic, but not necessarily in the same way).

What I am talking about here is conceptually about completely unprotected sex... no birth control at all. There is something about that instant when you cum inside her... no, even before that, when you feel the inevitability of it happening a few seconds before, when there is a rush of feeling like no other human experience I know of. It's almost a religious experience (maybe more than almost). It's as if you know that in that very moment you may be creating a child and thereby be binding your fate and hers together for eternity. ETERNITY! It's as if you know that once that happens, there is no turning back, no matter what happens in this life you are inexorably bound to her until the end of time. I don't think there is any feeling that brings me closer to an understanding of the concept of eternity then this. And that is a powerful powerful thing.

[Adigelunar]

. good post

[TadCurious]

What a great myTake! You really write well and I'm glad you're experiencing those deep and powerful feelings when he cums inside you.

[Kabluie]

I agree it's more than just a physical sensation, it's an emotional kind of attachment when swapping fluids in a relationship. Sometimes I can't explain it either, but it's a very satisfying feeling.

[Anonymous]

There is no better expression of love than ejaculation inside the vagina with no condom. You are absolutely right that the emotional bonding is incredibly strong. It's almost not worth having sex if it doesn't finish inside her vagina.