No, I don't think he is what you assume.
In my opinion, he is just protective of you and likes to call you by names other than your first name. That is fairly normal that people use other names to call those that they care for. There is nothing unusual about that type of behavior.
I would be more cautious if he would specifically seek the contact with his nieces and get a little too close for comfort. He should realize that at age 11, pre-teens are often starting their puberty and touching them, knowing that, would indeed awake my suspicion.
Also, the fact that he does not mind you not shaving your genital area would lead me to believe that he is not attracted to younger girls.0 0 0 0No he doesn’t seek contact with them. In fact, the don’t meet except every now and then during family gatherings only
I would say that you should observe his behavior when you are close to children and if he looks at them in a way that would lead you to believe that there is a potential problem. If you go to the mall and when you come across children or pre-teen girls, observe how he behaves. That should be an indicator to you.
Well what behavior should be a redflag? Can you give examples please? Sorry I just tend to worry myself a lot
Most Helpful Guys
There comes a point when men have to treat young ladies differently than when they were much older. That age is different for every child. BUT 11 years old is definitely when an older man should know that little girls have become young ladies and they should be treated as such. Hopefully he has respected the requests of the curvey twin and also stopped being playful with the other twin as well. Do remember when he has 12 they were just born. Being cousins he probably was being an older brother to them.
As for your situation, I think he is treating you the way both of you have grown used to. BUT if this is something you are now uncomfortable with, you should feel fine in letting him know you are ready for a more serious relationship. The "puppy" love phase is over.
Not really the time to decide if he is truly a pedophile or not yet. BUT if his actions continue as they have been without any changes, you will need to move on because it makes you uncomfortable.0 0 0 1What do you mean by “not really the time to decide if he truly is a pedophile or not yet” does it mean there’s sth wrong in what I wrote? Or does it mean I need to test sth? I honestly find it cute that he wants to protect me and take care of me. I just usually over analyze everything and get anxious quickly.
You may be over thinking this. BUT I think he has given you good reason to be alert. That is what I meant to say. If he respects the requests of the twins, that is a good thing. I remember when I was 40 and just married to my wife of 30, she had many nieces and nephews. They all were age 2 - 7 or so. When I joined the family they would jump all over me and want to wrestle on the floor. the laughing and giggling was a blast. Imagine 5 or 6 little ones all in one pile. Then one day a niece came to me afterwords and said I was touching her! With 5 or 6 kids on me I would never have known if I was or not, it certainly was not anything purposeful. Needless to say, wrestle time was over, I never played like that with the kids again. Your boyfriend needs to make sure he respects the wishes of the twins, the truth be known he has been playing with them for a long time, but now things have changed it it time to change that behavior. As for your relationship, I would not think anything about him enjoying wanting to take are of you as a pedophile situation. I still love taking care of my wife in the same manner.
Okay well can you please tell me how can I make sure without asking him if he will respect the wishes of the children? I don’t want to sound like I’m accusing him of anything but I still want to make sure so that I can shut my mind up with all the overthinking.. any suggestions?
None of those things shout pedo. Curvy isn't a sexual term. Tickling younger family members isn't sexual. The whole daughter thing is just him feeling like your protector.
Not once has he said he likes a child's physiology. Not once has he talked about sex with a child.
You're overanalyzing everything. This won't end well for you1 0 0 0So there’s nothing to worry about what I wrote right? And yes you’re definitely right that I overanalyze every single thing in my life which causes a lot of problems to me..
I personally see nothing wrong with anything you wrote
Sb told me that he has given me a good reason to suspect, my question is.. how to make sure it isn’t pedophilia? Is there a way to know for sure so that I can shut my anxiety and my overthinking? Please help me
Most Helpful Girl
doesn't sound like a pedo to me. nothing stands out to support your concern.
0 0 0 0So I shouldn’t be worried? Cause sb told me that he has given me a good reason to suspect?
have you ever seen anything he's done odd to them? like touching them wrong, saying sexual things, grooming them? if the guy had called her fat instead of curvy you would have thought that insensitive? i mean doesn't sound like this guy can win, he was sensitive in describing and yet now he isn't a pig or mean but a pedo? you know the difference if you dont you shouldn't be dating anyone, really. with you being called baby etc i been called that it has nothing to do with kids or being a pedo but a term of endearment. somebody told you but they dont know whats going on none of us are there to see what is going on, to me it sounds like you are way over analyzing it all.
Well yea if he called her fatter I would’ve told him that he’s being insensitive, this also happened like a year ago, and then the tickling thing happened a couple of days ago. Also I haven’t seen him with his cousins except for once when I met his family and we were all sitting together infront of his family talking and he was nice to them and he a 5 year old cousin of his was sitting on his lap and he was playful to her while talking to her mother but nothing was creepy
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1 15Well as soon as you said your always stressed and anxious over the slightest things I stopped reading. Break up with him, he probably deserves better than you.
You're a spazz ... do this guy a favor and break it off.0 0 0 0As far as I could read, he seems a very nice cousin that is invested in his cousins' lives. I see nothing or of the ordinary there.
0 0 0 0What about the fact that he tells me he feels like I’m his daughter at times cause he wants to feed me, take care of me.. etc. is it a redflag or not?
Inconsequential. You yourself said that sometimes you at like a child. That and maybe he does have certain protective instinct, makes sense that he would feel that way. It is not a bad thing, or a flag as you say, just a part of him. There isn't anything that leads towards wanting to be with kids.
You are probably right, I may be over analyzing everything that happens and I get scared real quick.
Congratulations on winning a Troll of the day award.
0 0 0 0Why? Can you please clarify or give me a helpful answer to sth that I’m trying to understand
Sorry where are u getting pedo vibes I'm so confused are u just jumping to conclusions or has he actually done somthing
0 0 0 0I’m confused too. Therefore I’m not going to comment and instead hitchhike on your opinion.
Thats comeplty fine when I read the question is as thinking what fucked up shit I'm I about to see but this is all pretty basic stuff
How in the hell do I keep losing people I follow? Grrr. This happens like once a week at random. The GaG gods are not on my side. 😞
Doesn't sound like a pedo, to me!
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