Could you be with a girl who has Vaginismus?

Question

A girl who is sweet, caring, supportive and a good partner you could see yourself in a relationship with. The only problem is she suffers from Vaginismus.

 
Vaginismus - It's a sexual dysfunction condition that is both psychological as well as brought about by neurological dysfunction. it's a condition that makes the muscles of the pelvic floor tighten, preventing a woman from having vaginal intercourse, or having other objects placed inside her vagina, such as a tampon or a speculum during a pelvic exam. 

Many people describe the condition as being similar to when you reflexively close your eyelids when an object gets too close to your eyes.

The muscles that tighten are the pubococcygeus (PC) muscles, and in some cases the levator ani muscles (the group of muscles that includes the PC muscles), and even thigh and stomach muscles connected to the pelvic floor.

The condition can be treated with therapy and surgery but it can possibly cost a lot of money and treatment is very long.

BlueCoyote · Accepted Answer

Generally speaking, I have a very strict rule for myself that I will never date a person who has psychological problems. Whether it's depression, childhood trauma, anorexia, schizophrenia, PTSD... you name it. We can perhaps be friends but I will absolutely not enter into a serious relationship with you. I know this might sound a bit discriminating but I simply want to save myself from the troubles of dealing with that kinda stuff. Having a stable relationship only works if both partners are emotionally stable themselves. Being in a long-term relationship can already be tricky sometimes by itself, I don't want to deal with extra psychological baggage. My girlfriend feels the same way. In fact, she once told me that before we got to know each other, her number one criteria for a potential boyfriend was not looks or humor or intelligence but this question: did this guy have a happy childhood? When we got to know each other, she could tell right from the beginning that I was a very sweet and relaxed type of guy. Part of the reason for this is because I've had a very happy childhood. My parents were both great and my dad is also a really sweet and easy-going guy, not like other fathers who are always very serious and strict or authoritative. My girlfriend could feel all this positive, harmonious energy between me and my parents and I told her many happy stories from my childhood. This was an important reason why she eventually fell in love with me. She knew that a guy who's grown up in such a good, stable, loving family must be loving and psychologically stable himself.
I myself feel very similar to my girlfriend in this respect. I don't look down on people with anxiety disorders or that kinda stuff but I don't wanna waste my time dealing with these things. I'm a keeper - but keeping only works if both partners can emotionally rely on each other.

I didn't know this disorder Vaginismus until you wrote this question. But if you're correct and it's partially a psychological problem, that means I'd have to say no.
If it was an exclusively neural disorder, I could certainly see myself dating such a girl as long as she was willing to have it fixed. Money isn't really a problem. Where I live, we have universal healthcare and they take care of all the costs.

OlderAndWiser · Accepted Answer

I could date a woman with that condition if that was the only significant negative, if

1. she saw the condition as a problem which needed to be fixed and not just an example of something I needed to "accept," and

2. she was willing to engage in substitute sexual practices while we were working on the vaginismus.

Bigclit · Accepted Answer

hm i think i saw an episode of mtv's true life about something like this.. i think one of the couples went to see some sort of sex tantra and she taught her partner how to please his girlfriend. it worked for them i'd maybe look into that

tinyclit · Accepted Answer

Not a problem if the two of you are oral fans. You can still have mind blowing oral sex. There ya go, yet another reason why oral sex is superior! :)

Anonymous · Accepted Answer

One of my friends had this and they went to a doctor for therapy. Not so long time, she got succeed. Also it was not expensive ;)

Realistic07 · Answer

That wouldn't be a very big issue.

JonJames · Answer

Yes butt she'd need to be willing to become an anal expert.

Tdieseler · Answer

I just wanted to see what Vaginismus was...

Mistnigqa808 · Answer

Yeah If I was a hobo and she chose to move me into her house.

raio81597 · Answer

Sounds like it's curable so I don't see the problem.

MackFreeze · Answer

Your very beautiful! I could, I want to wait for marriage anyway so it wouldn't be big deal. I hear it can be fixed through kegals and self help! Just like learning to be gentle on yourself, not being critical of who you are. Loving, believing, and supporting yourself, and kegals should help and is free!

I would date you why not!

JuicyBrain · Answer

If it is mainly a physiological problem, maybe. If it's psychological, that means she probably has problems with sex which means she is probably closed to exploring sex and trying alternate methods of having sex. In that case, no. We could be friends, but I see no reasons to be with a woman like that. Sex may not be the only thing, but it's an important thing in a relationship.

normalice · Answer

hard to say. I'd be inclined to try it as delicately as possible anyway, just to see if we can get past the psychological issues on our own. I like 'marathon' sex, so an hour or two of teasing each other up is actually ideal, and if it turns out to be a requirement, all the better. As long as she likes sex enough to try despite her condition, I don't think I'd have any real objections. Though, if she doesn't like anal I wouldn't want to date her even if she didn't have vaginismus, but that's just me. Objectively speaking, this condition wouldn't deter me from dating a girl.

oldanddecrepid · Answer

If she was someone who I thought was totally worth it, then yes!

meatballs21 · Answer

Since she's not up for anal, the answer is no, no matter how cute her doggy or large her hips are.

HeresJames1 · Answer

Hmm I wonder what it would be like if someone actually got their cock in but then her muscles tensed up around it. Would it just feel incredibly tight or would the dude actually get stuck?

genericname85 · Answer

we could be friends, not lovers. i love vaginas too much to miss out on them xD

UncagedAgent · Answer

Two words OP, Anal, Adoption

Ray-S · Answer

I voted yes. I have hang-ups myself, so I am not going to give up on someone I like just because of one obstacle. But it would be on the condition that she was still a sexual person. Giving up a part of sex is one thing, but giving up all sexual contact is just being friends.

Shaft50 · Answer

Yeah, for sure... there are other ways to be intimate...

Waffles731 · Answer

Yes, If she really is like that and we had things in common then yes I would wait for her till her treatment has progressed We could try oral sex, or other things, and no we don't need to try anal

RationalMale · Answer

Would you lease a dodge challenger that you can only drive in the parking lot?

gapminder · Answer

Honestly No! My wife had this for years and it fucking ruined our relationship.

blondfrog · Answer

Wait does that mean we couldn't have sex? lol that would suck if so I said no I have needs lol.

Decentguy · Answer

yes i think i will be.

bcromartie · Answer

I would have no problem not having sex in a relationship. People are actually worth more than that as partners so not being able to have sex isn't that big of a deal. Been there, done that.

Polocrew · Answer

Hell fuking no lol

Marinepilot · Answer

I won't date a woman who can't/won't put out regardless of the reason.

stonerboner · Answer

I guess I'm selfish and I like intercourse too much.

kemalim13 · Answer

is she thinks about anal

Nice222 · Answer

Yes as long she was willing to have other types of sex.

IncelGod · Answer

I found the best way to cure vaginismus is if a guy makes a girl feel wanted. The first swindler who pretended to be a prostitute had a mild case of vaginismus. I think she was feeling really insecure about having sex with me. Her pussy was very tight. When I started dominating her, her pussy became relaxed and opened up like magic. I let her know physically that I really wanted her.

So, I can be with a girl who has vaginismus because I can cure her vaginismus. I don't know why, but it feels like girls are intimidated by me, even prostitutes... Once they realize that I really like them, they open up to me, both mentally and physically. Girls are so delicate...

jamesdegod · Answer

would you be with a guy that has erectile disfunction?

Abdulwahh · Answer

Yeah i will pay to get it fixed lol, i wouldn't be able to wait to enter her, could my penus get stuck in her?

Anonymous · Answer

I have a small penis, so honestly, I would be perfectly okay with a relationship that didn't involve penetration. It would take a lot of my anxiety away.

Anonymous · Answer

Of course not I won't be able to have sex with her. It is a lot more common sense reason to not be with someone then reasons that women won't be with a guy, such as women saying no because of looks or disability.

Anonymous · Answer

I prefer blowjobs anyway, so as long as she is okay with oral, then I would be completely fine with it. I could live off of nothing but oral given the chance. I am not into anal, so that doesn't appeal to me. If her personality is as good as you make her sound, she might even be my wife one day. I am not however going to be in a sexless marriage, so if she isn't okay with oral, then we wouldn't be right for each other.

Anonymous · Answer

If she's not interested in anal, probably not.

Anonymous · Answer

Why couldn't someone love someone with a condition? I have epilepsy and it's difficult to find someone to love me because of that condition. I would have no problem love her. I know the difficulties of a medical condition.

Could you be with a girl who has Vaginismus?

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