Sexual Relationships 
Sexual Health 
So I haven't done a sex joke take in awhile, but got the urge 😂
So, hope you're "ready" for it cuz here it cuuummmsss.....
Have to warn you though:
Sailor
A sailor drops anchor in a port and heads into the nearest pub. Everyone in the pub is whispering and pointing at him because of his odd shaped body; he has a very muscular body, but a very tiny head on his shoulders. As he orders his drink, he tells the bartender, “I’ll explain. I get this in every port and town I visit. I caught a mermaid and she granted me three wishes if I would release her back into the sea. So I told her I wanted a yacht and, sure enough, she came through for me. Next, I asked for a million bucks and now I am set for life. Last of all, I asked her if I could have sex with her and her response was, ‘I don’t know how you can make love to me with your type of body.’ So I asked her, ‘How about a little head?’”
Penis
A penis has a sad life. His hair is a mess. His family is nuts. His neighbor is an asshole. His best friend is a pussy. And his owner beats him.
What's worse: a man with no money or a small penis?
Both, because you get shorted on both dinner and dessert-unless you like the banana "split" 😂😂
Wet Pussy
A fish was swimming around in a pond when he noticed a fly flyin around about six inches above the water. He thought, “if that fly drops six inches, I could have myself a nice meal.”
There was a bear watching the fish watching the fly. He thought, “if that fly drops six inches, that fish will come up for that fly, and I can catch that fish and have myself a nice meal.”
There was a hunter watching the bear watching the fish watching the fly. He thought, “if that fly drops six inches, the fish will get the fly, the bear will go for the fish, and I can shoot the bear and have myself a nice meal.”
There was a mouse watching the hunter watching the bear watching the fish watching the fly. He thought, “if that fly drops six inches, the fish will get the fly, the bear will get the fish, the hunter will shoot the bear, drop his sandwich and I can have myself a nice meal.”
There was a cat in a tree watching the mouse watching the hunter watching the bear watching the fish watching the fly. He thought, “if that fly drops six inches, the fish will get the fly, the bear will get the fish, the hunter will shoot the bear, drop his sandwich, the mouse will go for the sandwich, and I can catch that mouse and have myself a nice meal.”
Then it all happened
The fly dropped six inches
The fish came up and caught the fly
The bear came out and caught the fish
The hunter got up to shoot the bear and dropped his sandwich
The mouse went for the sandwich
The cat jumped from the tree, missed, and landed in the pond
The lesson that can be learned here is that every time a fly drops six inches, a pussy gets wet.
Job
My family chastises me for MY job, but you should hear how my family provides “customer service” at their jobs. My mother works as a social worker and answers the phone like, “DYFS, you beat em, we treat em.” My grandmother is a Medical Examiner and she answers the phone like, “City Morgue, you kill em, we chill em.” These bitches have no class! I’m an actress and studio secretary. When you call the studio, I answer the phone professionally like, “Good afternoon. IHOP, International House Of Pussy. Creampie Cassie speaking”.
Runaway Pussy
Two lesbians adopted a cat that night the cat ran away why ?
because it heard one say i’m gonna eat that pussy
What does a 90 year old’s pussy taste like?
Depends…
Pet names
Three women were sitting around throwing back a few drinks and
talking about their love lives. Tracy said, "I call my husband the
dentist. Nobody can drill like he does."
Cathy giggled and confessed, "I call my husband the miner because
of his incredible shaft."
Dawn quietly sipped her whiskey until Tracy asked, "Say, what do
you call your husband?"
Dawn frowned and said, "The postman."
"Why the postman?" asked Cathy.
"Because he always delivers late, and half the time it's in the
wrong box."
Cock
If I had a rooster and you had a donkey and your donkey ate my
rooster's legs, what would have?
Two feet of my cock in your ass.
NewlyWeds
The newlyweds showed up at the hotel and asked for the
honeymoon suite.
"Do you have reservations?" asked the clerk?
"Only one, she won't take it up the ass.
I hope you enjoyed... And if you're in a relationship, don't forget to value your sex life, cuz:
Thank you for reading💙❤️
"Brainsbeforebeauty"😘😘
What Girls & Guys Said
8 45These were all great. Now I’m horny.
🤣🤣
What a naughty sponge, i wonder if such clouds are real 🤣
Maybe only in the sponge's world 😁
Little late to the party aren't you? Lol this was from a year ago, so see I'm not naughty now😇
Didn't knew that it was from a year ago, cause when you're posting a mytake, it ain't showing in my notifications 🤔 Anyways i like these naughty jokes and the sponge will always be naughty 😁
Nuhuhhh 😇😇😇
😂 I like the fly dropping joke.
😂😂😂 yeah that was funny lolol
A hillbilly walks in on his sister pleasuring herself with a cucumber and says: HEY... I was gonna eat that! now it's gonna taste like cucumber
😂😂😂
Amazing ;)
Thanks
My favorite was the wet pussy. 😂
😂😂 what not the elephant meme 😂😂😂
*rolls eyes* 😂😂
Lololol
Hehehehe... Classic.
Simples...
Lololol thanks
I've been so depressed, but now I'm electric happy,. Thanks so much
Aww glad you got a laugh 👍🙂 we all need that laugh... Especially these days
OMG, well done Brains!
Hey,
Why do female paratroopers wear jockstraps?
So they don't whistle on the way down!
😂😂😂 good one lololol and thanks 🙂
Damn funny 🤣🤣🤣
Thanks 🙂 can you guess which joke is "brains" original? 🤔😅
Sorry i can't guess 🙈
Then 🤐
If you know there are people under 18 on here, why are you posting stuff that is for ONLY over 18?
I put that disclaimer there's a lot of sex stuff in this category that should be for 18+
That was hilarious...
Lol thanks
Well done
Thanks
Dirty but good fun
Right 😂
Very, very funny. Thanks for the laughs!
🙂 thanks 🙃🙂
Nice!
Lol thanks 🙂
The ultimate Christmas savers plan
😂😂😂 good one lolol
Best dirty jokes in years, thank you for that. Much needed.
Thanks that's my I lost count lol when life or people gets irritating, I do a sex joke take so there's a lot of them lololol
That's cool. I for whatever reason can't remember any dirty jokes I once new. Damn
I look em up online lol although one in their was my original own joke lol
Siavash:<<<<<<Thinks to self while very shocked at the same time: All this time i thought this brainsbeforebeauty was a virgin!!!
😂😂😂 two kids and a grandson yeah all hail the virgin BBB😂😂
LOL There have been women who gave birth but were believed to be virgins in the history of mankind, no?
😂😂 yep me 😂😂😂
SEE? I told you!!! I was right after all. Virgin Brains
Hahahahahaha yeah right
I didn't read the jokes but I'm sure they're funny..
I just want to share the experience that I just had.. when I read "cum in" my dick got up and said " Dude !! it's been so long that I haven't come inside a mamacita" and I was like " bro you're so selfish it's not I it's we " and he was like " nah I'm the one who gets that white shit out of me not you " and I was like " yeah but I'm the one who enjoys the feeling of it so if should use it's me so fuck off" and he fucked off...
So if anyone looking to sell his penis I'm ready to bu... oh no wait he came back but he didn't mess around cause he left without the balls...
😂😂😂 omg still laughing 😭😭😂
You're not gonna believe but I just came up... oh shit ! Sorry... with it 😂😂😂😂😂
Shit it got to the ceiling...
😂😂😂😂