Sexual Relationships
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Dear Sluts, Stop Complaining About Judgment

Dear Sluts, Stop complaining about judgment.

Double standard?

To get casual sex from attractive women as a man on a consistent basis, you have to be above average in some way, shape, or form. You actually have to have a game, wit, and/or charisma. So in a sense, it's sort of an acquired skill. This is why men receive praise for sleeping with attractive women. For an average woman to receive casual sex on a consistent basis, she simply needs to spread her legs. It's going to be much easier for an average girl to get laid in comparison to an average guy. We all know that. There are fat and ugly sluts all around. Do you see that many fat and ugly studs who are having sex with attractive women on a consistent basis? Nobody admires something that literally takes no effort or skill. It's as simple as that.

Are you going to try to deny this? Pussy is a commodity and has more value in the market than dick. If not, then why do men pay for pussy? How many female prostitutes are out there in comparison to male prostitutes? It's not that difficult to get laid as an average looking girl. If you're denying that, then you're probably below average in some way.

You're not a "slut"?

A slut by definition is to be described as someone who has a lot of careless and casual sex with multiple partners. If you are doing that, then you are by definition a slut. I do that so I guess I'm a slut.

You don't want to be judged?

As for people judging you? Yeah, women have it a lot harder in regards to this due to basic evolutionary logic. No amount of social conditioning will ever change that... And no, a man isn't insecure if he doesn't want to date a girl with a high count. That just means they have a different set of values which they are completely entitled to.

In a perfect world, people wouldn't judge, but we don't live in a perfect world. Men are entitled to make judgement when deciding to become emotionally invested in their partner in every aspect. We judge on their values, morals, their past, their future, their everything... Men don't just disregard sexuality for your convenience. It's all relative.

Am I slut shaming you?

I love sluts because they're fun and are usually much better at sex. They look at sex through the same lens as I do, therefore, we share the same values. Look, if you're going to sleep around, accept that people will judge, and you aren't going to change how the world looks at promiscuous women. I've dealt with judgment and accepted it. One thing that annoys the hell out of me are girls who bitch about guys who don't want to date them because of their high count. It's sort of a given that it's going to happen if you keep sleeping around with a bunch of guys.

Take responsibility for your actions like an adult.

I've been doing this slut shit for a while now. I have a very high count and people judge even despite the fact that I'm a man. I accept that though. I accepted that it would happen before I started sleeping around so much. Why can't slutty girls do the same? All I see are girls playing the victim role or trying to turn the cards on other people for not accepting their lifestyle. You do your thing and let the others do their thing. Grow up, take responsibility for your life choices, and stop bitching.

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Most Helpful Guy

  • This take holds some truth, but at the same time, I think there is a difference between a woman who goes through an experimental and fun stage in her early to mid 20s and a woman who consistently sleeps around and can't seem to find a good man to "settle down" with due to the way she values sex. For many guys, we like to have fun too, but we also want to be committed to a woman who values sex as something more than just parts rubbing together for pleasure. If a woman can move on from her hedonistic view on sex and still enjoy sex in a committed relationship without being bored of the same guy, then I don't see there being an issue with a woman who had some flings or FWBs in her past. Of course, every guy is different and take a woman's sexual history or views on sex differently.

    For me, I like some experience and a woman who is sex positive. Attitude is everything in the bedroom, so even if she didn't have any flings, and was a serial monogamous woman, she can still be positive about sex and enjoy kinky naughty sexy fun times AND romantic love making, without sleeping around a bunch.

    • I didn't mean to give you MHO tbh lmfao

    • Although I agree with you

    • Very true and fair view. I just think we should match with people who are like us. If you dont like a slur then just dont be with one if you dont mind then its yours pblm

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  • Well you're not wrong, although I don't like the word slut because I find it pejorative and degrading. Which it shouldn't be. Please don't deny it, even tho the litteral definition seems ok, everyone knows that the word slut is meant to be an insult when used. Women who have active sexual lives are no better or worse than women that don't in a relative point of view. It just an other lifestyle, an other set of values like you said. Girls who sleep around just have to assume their sexual behaviour, just like anyone else has to take responsibility for their actions.
    BUT
    ''sluts'' as you call them do not always behave this way because they enjoy having sex, showing off their list of partners, or just experiment. Some of them just think it's the right way to behave because they have never been treated differently by a guy so far. I've talked to a girl in my class recently, and actually she explained to me that she was always treated like this, by guys who expected her to behave that way. She saw it as the norm. Now she's in a long term relationship and it's the guy who wanted to take his time, and she didn't get why at first but now she is super happy. I also know girls who have self esteem issues, and perceive the fact of sleeping with a lot of guys or be desired by them as a way to boost it. They feel valuable when sleeping with a guy, and sometimes the guys contribute to this feeling, making big promises on the first few dates, than after having sex, simply ghost them. And the cycle restarts even though sometimes all they want is to find a boyfriend, but they are scared that the guy won't keep un dating if they don't sleep with him. Finally i know ''sluts'' which are some damaged girl who have sex in some kind of self destructive way.
    In my opinion, you can't just assume every girl who happen to have sex with a couple of guys are all the same. They have different motives and sometimes would just need to meet some guy who would not judge them too harshly and just give them a chance.
    Also, do you think virgins should be judged in the same way ''sluts'' are and take responsibility in the same way ''sluts'' do, because they have different vallues?

    • Yeah, I mean words don't really hurt me so I don't mind using the word slut and I'm going to sue it right now just for the sake of saving some keystrokes and not dancing around what I'm trying to say lol. I've been with a lot of different kinds of sluts and from what you're describing, I know exactly what you're talking about. It's not that I'm painting any image of sluts to be bad people by any mean though. I even said that I like sluts. Sluts are of the minority and are going against the grain of societal norms, this is why they're judged negatively. I'm a steroid using bodybuilder and I'm negatively judged for that reason too. I

  • dear people of the world
    stop giving so many shits about other people's sexual habits when it literally does not concern you in the slightest

    • its like they have run out of ideas regarding religion or race so lets go after sexual habits now

    • Well men and women are more than entitled to judge their potential partners in every way and that includes sexuality. It's a matter of sharing the same values. If a guy who is very sexually conservative doesn't want a girl with a high count, that's more than understandable.

    • @tony-1693 indeed but not an excuse for slut shaming though. if you dont see yourself with someone then just move on. doesn't mean they are a bad person or deserve derision does it?

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  • Eh. Guys who call women sluts with malicious intent are just jealous that can't sleep with that girl and women who call other women sluts are jealous of their confidence and freedom. To date i've only ever called a dude a slut, because i've actually only met men who sleep around considerably.

    • Yeah, I've come to this realization as well. Any perpetuated hate in a malicious way that's intended to cause harm-- well those people are fucking bitter and crazy lol.

    • I am grossed out by sluts but how can I be jealous of people I find disgusting?

    • @Yourpain I find it funny that sexual liberty is some how linked to being gross. If they're clean then there's no problem.

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  • I don't think anyone should care about the opinion of anyone else when it comes to what we do in the bedroom. Call me a slut all you want because I don't care about no one's measly opinion of me when I already know they don't know anything about me.

    • Nice snake

  • 1. One thing I cannot understand is why would anyone use a derogatory slur like slut, because contrary to your definition, it is a WOMAN who sleeps around, not person, it targets WOMEN just like all those other sex-shaming words. To use it for men, people often use a quantifier like "male -slut", "man-whore" etc.(To me it's as silly as saying "male-nurse", "black-doctor", "girl-gamer/gamer-girl", etc.)
    Why do men shame women for their promiscuity, especially men who are promiscuous, when they directly benefit from said behavior?

    2. Although men can be shamed for their promiscuity (even if it's less common), women and girls are often targeted much more. I know I was called a slut before I even had my first kiss. Many times, although most of those times were by strangers aka men who asked me out and got mad I rejected them. A woman can be called slut if she wears fitting clothes and it accentuates her figure "too much", and contrary to popular belief, it's not just women who throw "slut" around to a woman with like big tits in low cut top or big ass in shorts, many men do too. I've overheard men and women call me a slut because I wore a short dress and I got thick legs and a booty, so apparently it's too sexual. Yet a chubby girl or really skinny woman would be less likely to receive criticism over it.

    3. I agree. I guess it's just that many women are tired of being insulted for the same things men do. Now, I get your whole "lock and key" logic, but I still don't think it's productive to shame someone for enjoying sex. So while I don't think they should complain that men have different standards, i also dont think that if the person doesn't meet said standards you should shame them.

    4. Take responsibility? How about we act like adults and stop insulting others for enjoying sex? How about we stop bullying people for wearing revealing clothing that looks "skanky"? etc?
    weknowmemes.com/.../...ith-the-morals-of-a-man.jpg

    • I guess yes, promiscuous people, particularly women, should stop complaining. But others should also stop criticizing. They are both adult actions.

    • Yeah, I'm not promoting others to shame people. I'm just laying down the logic behind it.

    • Calling a woman a slut, or person for that matter, IS shaming though. I mean I agree with your overall theme to stop complaining and take responsibility, but I also think people throw "slut" around far too easily. A woman is flirty=slut. A woman dresses in tight clothing=slut. A woman sends nudes to her then boyfriend, they break up and he posts them in revenge=slut. Now, yes we should just brush it off and ignore it, that doesn't change the fact that these people are acting childish for throwing the word around as if any behavior they disagree with is "slutty". It's just bastardizing the true definition.

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  • I'm not sure how I feel about this. Once I started reading it, I was so pissed off, I almost stopped reading just to call you an asshole. Then I kept reading and you made decent points, good enough points that I don't think you're a total asshole. Anyway, yeah, it's easy for girls to have sex with random people. Just because a guy has to work harder for it, doesn't make it right by any means, it just means that he's more dedicated, which is great I guess. I don't even really know what to say. I don't have any room to judge though because I'm a "slut" too

    • Lol I have a way of catching a reader in that way.

    • Lol, I knew it was wrong to judge so quickly so I had to finish at least

  • I personally don't think it's a problem if a woman has slept with lots of guys as long as she hasn't cheated and has ensured that her partner always used a condom.

  • I've got a better idea. Don't wanna be slut shamed? Don't be a slut.

    • That's sort of my whole take in a nutshell lol.

  • People judge and that's a given. What I find funny is the incel type that curse women and call them sluts for sleeping with OTHER men yet they feel entitled to sex with any woman they like and are pissed off that they aren't getting it. They expect women to drop their panties at the sight of them yet they also expect them to be prudes with any other guy. Yeah makes sense lmao.

  • Stop calling woman sluts. That's a word to put down woman. Not all woman are like that. In fact the people who you may call that word may be highly intelligent woman who just dress inappropriately. I understand your post I'm just backing it up.

  • If women want to act like harlots then then expect to be treated as a harlot.

  • Same thing I told your mom.

  • I stopped reading your nonsense after the first paragraph. Guys find a girl they connect with and girls do the same. no need to judge someone for being different from your views/wants/needs. Just keep walking.

    • I'm surprised you're a mod tbh. A lot of your answers are pretty irrational and condescending. I'm not just saying that because we have a disagreement here either. I just see you posting non stop inflammatory and condescending comments on this website. I mean, most people agree with my take, and you don't have to agree, but to just excuse it as nonsense is completely off base. I've brought up some solidyfng points and you just dismiss it as nonsense for the reason being it's nonsense. At least read the rest of the take before you make a comment if you want to have a respectable opposition. I'm not going to have a pissing match with you. If you want to counter some of the points I've brought up, then by all means, I'd love to hear them. If you just want to dismiss all of what I've typed out here on this notion that "you're stupid and your views are stupid.".. then I'll move on.

    • Surely you must have known your post could be considered incendiary by some. I have zero interest in debating your view. By posting your belief, you are inviting responses. I gave mine. If my job as mod is to agree and let you know you’re brilliant, I’ll relinquish my post here and now. Maybe I’m just jaded at the quantity of posts like yours justifying judging others for the personal choices they make. How bout trying live and let live. Seek out the types of people you want to surround yourself with, try to understand those you don’t and accept everyone is different and THAT is what makes the world go around. ignirant and closed mindedness does not.

    • You're more than entitled to have an opinion but your opinion is baseless and inflammatory for the fact that you didn't even fucking read it lmao. Read the take and then we can have a constructive debate. I don't expect everyone to agree but if they're going to dismiss all of what I've written as nonsense, then I expect them to at least read the damn content so they can tell me which part is nonsense lol.

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  • ,😂😂😂😂😂

  • I have to say that I am having some difficulties here I've always been pro sex, especially for women.
    Because why should you deny yourself the pleasure we are adults we can do what we want and we aren't hurting anyone either.

    I can say that perhaps coming from a very sexual upbringing I had an idea of what makes sex great.
    Meaning my mother insisted sex is about a connection, feeling, the bond between two.
    Bodies becoming singular.

    From my first time I was accused of having sex more than this first time.
    Yes I played with myself but that was all.

    And so it's gone on.
    Even when I got with my ex who claimed to have slept with 20+ I thought he would have been mature enough to handle me.
    But I was stupid. His sexual experiences were due to immaturity and not being satisfied and always looking for the next conquest. Despite him saying he didn't have a connection. We connected and it lasted 8 years no matter how much he told me it was the best he had he still couldn't work out how to formulate a relationship.
    His problem not mine. But to mask his short fall I was the whore.

    I am very open and honest about my sexual history. But that being said no guy can handle it. If their woman is better than them in bed.
    It's like the one thing they think they have over us, that is why we are labelled so harshly.

    It's a basic biological thing, we're here to procreate together, the king of the jungle spreads his seed with as many and the females are supposed to be in awe of his sexual dominate and prowess.
    Match him and you take that away.

    That's is why we have slut shaming!

    It emasculate's him where men have very little to offer in the modern world!

    So no I don't like being called a slut, slag or who're or whatever else.
    I am open minded and in control of my body and it's pleasure.

    Men just don't have respect for women, end of. They use the excuse of sexual history but a disrespectful man will be disrespectful regardless of the packaging of the woman.

    But don't stop being honest and slut shaming because it makes it easier for all women to avoid the men that do.

    • No, this makes no sense. Slut shaming is mostly a woman on woman phenomenon. If a guy does it, it's almost always sour grapes. Personally, I don't care how many guys you've been with. Just warn me if you're inexperienced; so I can go easy on you the first few times. After that, it's all good.

    • @taleswapper- maybe where you come from but I have heard guys say, she's slept with x men she's a whore, slag, her gash must be raw... yadda yadda yadda. Of course women do this so that they can feel better about themselves. Because human beings are competitive by nature. If we didn't slut shame I wonder just how many more women would sleep around. There are women out there that do but do so under cover. Not only that language is a funny thing, when I say dated guys presume that includes slept with whereas I'd say I have slept with x of guys and dated x of guys. They count up instead of taking what you say. They base skill upon quantity instead of quality. They base confidence upon skills in bed rather than an overall.

    • Well, it may be a cultural thing, then. Certainly, the men I hang with don't talk that way about women. The other men would hoot them down. "Turned you down, did she? you deserve it, dude, 'tude like that." But I tend to run with a fringe crowd. Rennies, RPGrs, SCAdians, bikers, libertarians, and poly folk. Oh, and Episcopalians. The only people I ever hear slut-shaming are women.

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  • Yup. Pretty much how it is. I don't condone people putting others down by any means but we all have the right to judge, especially if prodded for an opinion. It's kind of like the philosophy: if you don't want to be treated like an asshole, don't be one.

  • I agree that sluts should admit that they are sluts, and take responsibility.

    tvtropes.org/.../AtLeastIAdmitIt

  • So, that makes you a slut too, right?

    • Yep, and I already said that in the take.

    • As long as you own up to your stuff. I am fine. My personal philosophy is we should all have a slut phase.

  • It takes "charisma" to date sluts? I didn't know that.

    That means "the Situation" is actually a genius.

    www.celebritycarsblog.com/.../The-Situation.jpg

    • He's outspoken in a way that seems to charm women enough for them to sleep with him. I'm not saying that you have to have all of above, simply saying that you have to above average in some way.

    • Well, I don't know about "above" average other than the number of diseases he may have contracted. As for dating sluts and having sex, nah. . . it takes no special talent to do that. It takes talent to be an interesting enough man to attract an intelligent, beautiful special woman.

    • Well you're off on the wrong track already by using the word 'dating'. Sluts don't really 'date'. They sleep around with people they just met.

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  • Don’t understand this and I’m reading this to try to understand the environment I’m living around. I don’t judge people for doing what they are doing in their lives, because I’m not them. They have their reasons.

    Even if I was extremely beautiful and still had my personality that I have now, I would never want to go around sleeping with a lot of guys. For me, all I want is a normal guy and not a weirdo, to just love me for who I am.

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