Debunking Social Norms: Bisexuality

Welcome to Debunking Social Norms, where I do my best to debunk and overthrow old social doctrines and show that some social taboos are, in fact, perfectly acceptable. In this week's Take, I am going to explain the difference between Bisexuality and Polyamory.


Debunking Social Norms: Bisexuality

A topic near to my heart (I am bisexual), bisexuality is often one of the most misunderstood sexualities within the LGBTQ community. It's not just the general straight population either, many within the homosexual community are ignorant of what it means to be bisexual.

Bisexuality vs. Polyamory

In terms of misunderstanding, this has to be the biggest ignorance that people have in regards to bisexuality: bisexuals are not inherently polyamorous, and polyamorous people are not inherently bisexuals. Those are two completely different categories. Bisexuals do not have a quota to fill: just because I like girls and guys doesn't mean I need to date both. I am content with one and only one. I will not want another person when I am in a relationship in the same way that any monoamorous person will not want another person while they are in a relationship.

Sexually Confused

Nope, I just am less picky than monosexual people. I like masculinity and femininity. Both are attractive to me. Too many times, I have heard from gay men, "So, you just can't make up your mind?" and other belittling statements and questions. From the straight camp, bisexuals get, "You are just confused." We are not confused. We know what we want: man or woman is acceptable.

I Am Not Gay, Nor Am I Straight

If I happen to be dating a man, that doesn't make me gay, it just means that I am in a homosexual relationship. If I happen to be dating a woman, that doesn't make me straight. I am bisexual because I like both men and women. That is really the only qualifying factor of bisexuality.


Thank you for taking the time to read my Take. I am taking ideas for my next Debunking Social Norms, so leave your ideas in the comments or message me.

Debunking Social Norms: Girls Asking Out Guys

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What Girls & Guys Said

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  • You're comparing apples and oranges, and haven't given the definition of what either term even means.

    You can be poly and heterosexual.

    I like the idea behind doing this, but this Take doesn't teach anyone anything.

  • I am bisexual and the biggest thing I hear is "I wouldn't date a bisexual because I can't give them everything they want." Which is a pretty dumb thing to say because no one can give their partner everything they want to begin with. If I want to date a girl I know she won't have a penis and I'm fine with that. If I want to date a man I know he doesn't have a vagina and I'm okay with that too.

    • Hehe. A friend of mine is bi, and as he said "It's not that i want cock and pussy, it's that i'm okay with either. I don't have the problem of first having to check the gender of a person before deciding if he or she is dateable. I find a person i like, and then wonder if it's a girl or a guy." I really like that reasoning, because it shows that it's not about wanting both, but about wanting an as good as possible partner and that their sex does not matter in the end because both are perfectly aceptable posibilities.

  • For me bisexuality do not exists. You either love a man or a woman you can't have both ways.

    • I think it's possible but bisexuality is being sexually attracted to men and women it has nothing to do with love

    • Still how can you be attracted to both sexes. You either like one or the other. There is no middle terms, is either white or black not grey. n that is how I see it,

    • I can't explain how but it does exist you need to get from under that rock

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  • Too many letters

  • I'm bi and I think I should print this and give it to everybody who opens their mouth when they shouldn't hahaha

  • I kinda feel like bisexuals are demonised to an extent. When you are in a relationship and your partner knows of your bisexuality, she becomes more possessive and agressive. It sometimes feels that they are dissapointed, and this makes one hate themselves more. I think Bi people face more dicrimination than gays becauseneither straight nor gay people understand them. This is out of personal experience by the way

  • I like this. My girlfriend is bisexual and all my friends who do know that (I don't just go and blurt it out, but maybe she makes a comment of two), are always saying how she is some sex freak. How she can't get enough attention and how I am not worried about her cheating on me with everyone. Or the flip slide, of if we have have crazy three ways. She is still very much a monogamist as I am, and I have never once had those worries or the want to have three way with her.

  • i believe bisexuality is a step before homosexuality

    • Oh? Why do you believe that?

    • i have this feeling that all bisexuals are just confused. i dont think there's such a thing as bisexuality. see i used to be totally straight then i started having feelings for girls and now i realise 90% of the time the thought of a naked girl turns me on

    • Then what would you say about me? I dated a girl when I was 14, dated a guy when I was 15 and 16, date another guy when I was 17, and dated my most recent ex (girl) when I was 20 and 21. I think that for you, you were indeed confused, but in the end, you are a lesbian. But I am not confused, I like it all. I could date a guy or a girl. It doesn't matter. I am sexually ambivalent.

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  • Could you do a follow-up explaining me the difference between bisexuality and pansexuality? Those terms confuse me more.

    • Pansexuality is when you're attracted to any gender or sex. So they can be attracted to transsexuals, people who look like they're a mix of both genders, people with mixed genitalia etc. Bisexuals don't have to be attracted to those people. Pansexuality includes bisexuality, but bisexuality does not include pansexuality. If that makes any sense.

    • Simply put: Pansexuals are attracted to humans. Biological sex and gender are not factors of sexual attraction. For me the world consists of attractive human beings and less attractive human beings. One big misconception about pansexuals is that we don't care about how attractive a person is. A lot of pansexuals, like a lot of people in general, care about looks.

  • I don't really like LGBT people, I was bullied by some in school. I know of course that not all of them are bad but the bullying has effected me so much that whenever someone mentions LGBT I automatically think of the pain I went through.
    I try to think differently but I can no longer trust anyone that is. I automatically think badly of someone I meet that is LGBT.

    • I agree with you. They are very hypocritical. Now I have no problem with what they do behind closed doors. I will respect that as a personal decision.. But here is an example of where they cross the line. Multi stall bathrooms that are gender neutral. I do not agree with that. There are those in the LGBT community that would like to actually see a genderless society where people are no longer identified as male or female. And these gender neutral bath rooms are one of many steps taken to make that happen. They can do what they want, However, I have no desire to comply with or endorse it.

    • I don't understand how being identified as either male or female is a bad thing. I also dislike unisex public restrooms.

    • This is the first time I have heard what you are saying about gender neutrality, and I have been in the LGBT community for, what, the past 7 years now? If only a few people are saying it, you are going to condemn the whole group? That's hardly fair.

  • Under some circumstances, we're all bi at moments but it's hard to admit for the straight brainwashed people.

    • I wouldn't say we're all bi, but we're just really close-minded because of society. Like how a lot of men are grossed out when they see two men kissing.

  • This was my take idea after seeing a heartbreaking question about whether or not would their girlfriends being bisexual would "turn them on". The opinions showed just how much a person could abuse free speech. It kept me up at night and I was enraged they got no consequences for such hurtful words and completely wrong ideas. Thank you for writing this, you made my day a little better.

    • Oh wow, that was exactly what inspired me to write this one!

    • I'm glad to see a disgusting question could drive not one, but two people to speak up.

    • I've been planning to do a take like this too. I'm straight but dating a bisexual guy, so I can kinda understand what most bi people are going through.

  • I think that deep down everyone is just a little bit bi, but most can't admit this, even to themselves

    • There are studies to purport that idea. The Kinsey Report was one of the first sexual surveys of America, and his findings were presented on a scale that listed people from 1-6, exclusively heterosexual to exclusively homosexual, and he found that not only was the average at 3, but that the mode was also 3.

    • This is exactly what my friend said to me, cos I've always tbought im 100% straight, but I've done sexual things with guys before, made out with two and done more with a third guy. But I've only even done things with guys when im drunk sooo I just don't know what I am? I have been with and been sexual with 8 girls so I must be straight? Maybe im just curious? ?

    • You would probably fall into the 2 or 3 category: heterosexual with homosexual tendencies or bisexual.

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