Did I do anything wrong to my friends with benefits?

[Anonymous]

I had a friends with benefits and we had amazing sex, but it wasn’t just that we used to hang out all night and go out and laugh and go for drinks. it’s been 10 months and i asked him if he wanted to go for food and he said ‘Oh i didn’t think that me and you had that type of relationship do that, sorry’ and then i told him that i kinda liked him and he just deleted me! What did i do wrong? I’ve done so much for him
and he just deleted me
for saying how
i feel? He’s 18 and i’m 19 and i just can’t believe he deleted me after knowing him for this long and saying my feelings? Why would he do that? He’s even tried to get me pregnant like 3 times. I haven’t reacted, i reacted to myself and cried but not to him.

[SystemOfTheMachine]

Sounds like he was using you for sexual fantasies and desires, but he didn't have any feelings for you. I'm sorry that you ended up having to deal with this situation. He sounds like a scumbag, mainly because he tried getting you pregnant, but with no intention of staying with you or raising a child. The guy sounds like a sexual deviant if that is the case. It doesn't sound like you did anything strictly wrong. It's just that this guy was only interested in you for sex and nothing else. So, once you revealed romantic feelings for him, he immediately left. Thankfully, you didn't let him get you pregnant, because you would have been raising a child on your own. It sucks when someone only values you for your body and not for your feelings, I've been in somewhat similar situations with women. It can be depressing.

[Anonymous]

Dude is a dumbass. It's weird he tried to get you pregnant, but maybe it was heat of the moment.

But for some, that's a strict rule of friends with benefits is no feelings. He just doesn't want or is scared to have more.

Now, if you don't mind me asking, how did the friends with benefits come about? I've been trying to find one and have not been able to. :)

[Asker]

Well tinder is a good place to start, i met him on there we met and then we just turned into friends with benefits! I’ve met so many people from using dating apps during lockdown it’s crazyyy,

[Opinion Owner]

I've tried tinder. And I'm getting no matches. I'm not ugly, but I'm not a stand out dude either.🤷‍♂️

[Asker]

Have u tried bumble i heard that that’s good too!

[SystemOfTheMachine]

I don't know how this happens dude, but the reason why women meet so many people on dating apps is because they are like outnumbered by men 10 to 1. A lot of women don't use online dating because of the added risks, so there is huge competition among men. I was on online dating for a couple months and I chatted with lots of women, but none of them went on a date with me, and some people tell me I'm hot. Online dating is stacked against men, might as well try to pick up people in the real world.

[Asker]

@SystemOfTheMachine Yeahh you are attractive so i’m surprised that you didn’t go on dates, i think that on tinder women get so much attention it just becomes too much on there sometimes

[Opinion Owner]

I understand. I just struggle with dating people to begin with. I'm average, I'd say and I figured tinders set up that way. Just I'm striking out absolutely everywhere.

[Opinion Owner]

I haven't tried bumble. Maybe that's worth a try

[SystemOfTheMachine]

I tried Bumble for like a week and didn't like it, but maybe it has changed. People keep acting like it should be better now. I know what you mean man, I actually get kinda shy sometimes. And lately I've been having a lot of bad luck too. I was ghosted and rejected both this week. 🤷‍♂️

[Opinion Owner]

I'm pretty shy all the time now. I was engaged 5 years ago and she ran off with another guy. I thought I was ok. I went on a few dates that went horribly. I just gave up. I didn't go in a date for 5 years. I hung out with a girl, and we had pretty terrible sex, but that was it. I had a co-worker ask me to hang out at her place but she didn't seem interested and she got back with her ex not long after. The dating thing just isn't fun anymore. I just wanted to try to hook up and redeem myself from the last time. But these apps suck

[SystemOfTheMachine]

I'm sorry to hear about that you had a fiance run out on you. That's not something anyone should envy. Right now, I think dating is just kinda bad all around. The pandemic helped do that. You might find something if you're lucky when it comes to friends with benefits. I found a few women on there that wanted that, but I'm looking for romance right now, so it didn't appeal to me. It's out there.

[Opinion Owner]

I appreciate it. I thought I found someone recently that could lead to a true romance, cause I'd rather have that than anything else. I'm not sure where she stands on things.

[In_Trance]

ask him; he'll tell you

[Asker]

he won't i’m not speaking to him ever again he’s childish aand doesn’t ever say his feelings about anything

[In_Trance]

that's a clear response in itself

[Anonymous]

He’s an asshole. Aim higher.

[Asker]

I will!

[Opinion Owner]

Good luck finding happiness!