Did I do something wrong?

So I’m a virgin but have been seeing a guy and we have been intimate in that I give him oral sex and I get really excited about it and I like it when we make out and hug but he doesn’t do anything to make me orgasm. I reached out and told him that I was really turned on by the night we had had but that I was trying to figure out ways that I could orgasm too because I feel like that would make me more relaxed (he comments sometimes that I don’t seem relaxed enough) and told him I had started to use a vibrator too. I don’t know if this got him mad or annoyed because he totally ignored my message and declined when I tried calling. Should I have not said anything?

0 1

Superb Opinion

  • Strange occurrence.

    • How r u

Most Helpful Guy

  • Based on what you've described, I don't think you did anything wrong by reaching out and communicating your needs and desires. Here are my thoughts:

    • It's natural and healthy to want to experience sexual pleasure as part of intimacy with a partner, even if you're a virgin. There's nothing wrong with that.

    • You approached the topic in a respectful, honest way by simply stating what would turn you on and help you relax. That was the mature, communicative thing to do.

    • His lack of response and declining your call was immature on his part. A decent partner would have at least acknowledged your message and had an open discussion about it.

    • His avoidance could suggest he's insecure or inexperienced himself and didn't know how to respond. Or it may reveal a deeper self-centeredness or lack of concern for your needs. Neither option bodes well.

    • At the very least, his silence shows a lack of communication skills and emotional maturity needed for a caring, mutually fulfilling sexual relationship.

    • It's possible he felt judged by your message, though from what you wrote it didn't seem critical or accusatory. Still, a simple clarifying conversation could have resolved that.

    • Overall, you did the right thing by speaking up for your needs and desires. A good partner would have responded communicatively, not shut down. His reaction says more about him than you.

    So in short, try not to overanalyze what you said or did. You spoke your truth in a kind, honest way - there's nothing wrong with that. His avoidance and silence suggest issues on his end, not yours. You deserve a partner who can communicate openly and care about your pleasure, not shut down at the first sign of vulnerability. Don't settle for less.

    • Thank you! This reply helped me-I was feeling really badly about myself. I even used up one of my vacation days to not go to work today because I felt so bad. I was considering messaging him again and being like I’m sorry that was probably TMI and I shouldn’t have said anything. But now I’m just going to try to enjoy the rest of my day and not bring myself down because of him not replying since it probably has more to do with him and not because what I said was so bad

    • I'm glad this perspective has helped lift your spirits! You're right - his lack of response was about him, not you. Some key points to remember: • You did nothing wrong by speaking your truth and advocating for your needs. That was brave and assertive, and you should be proud of yourself for doing so. • His avoidance and immaturity are on him. A mature partner would have welcomed the conversation and been receptive to ensuring both partners enjoy intimacy. • You don't need to apologize or minimize your perspective. What you said was not TMI - it was honest communication about wanting to experience more pleasure during your encounters. Any partner worth their salt would appreciate that openness. • Focus on building yourself up. Don't let someone else's lack of communication bring you down. You are worthy of a partner who meets you with care, empathy and emotional maturity. • Take good care of yourself today. Enjoy your day off and do something that lifts your spirits and fills your cup. You deserve self-care and comfort right now. • Move forward with confidence. Continue speaking your truth and advocating for your needs and desires, regardless of how partners may react. You have every right to expect intimacy and sex that fulfills you emotionally and physically. You've got this! I'm glad this discussion has helped provide some perspective and reassurance. Please feel free to reach out if you have any other questions. Again, I think you handled this situation with bravery, honesty and self-respect - remember that moving forward. Your needs and dreams absolutely matter.

Most Helpful Girl

  • You're not in the wrong for expressing your needs and desires, especially with someone you're intimate with. It's important for both people to feel satisfied in their relationship, and communication is key. That said, it's possible that your message made the other person uncomfortable, especially if they weren't expecting such a direct conversation. Sometimes it can be easier to bring up these topics in person or face-to-face, where you can gauge the other person's reaction better. If they want to work on the relationship with you, I highly recommend talking to them in person to resolve the issue.

    • Thank you, but I don’t know if they would want to talk in person since they didn’t even reply to my message?:/ and they declined my phone call. I wasn’t expecting that

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What Girls & Guys Said

0 5
  • He's not the one for you.

  • You did nothing wrong by telling him what you did. You should be able to share those kinds of things with an SO.

    • Thanks-first I thought maybe he thinks this is tmi but have done pretty intimate things with him many times so I don’t know why he would be weirded out

    • Hopefully he will stop ignoring you soon.

    • Thank you- if he doesn’t reply by tomorrow do you think I should try calling again? Or just wait-also not even knowing if he’s mad at me is what’s bothering me too :/

    • Show All
  • You did nothing wrong, the guy is a tool. He should have at least eaten your fur burger

    • Yeah at this point we have hooked up dozens of times and he’s never offered:/ I have thought about asking before but would like for him to offer

  • He probably didn't like that a toy got to pop your cherry instead of him.

    • Hmm It doesn’t go inside though

    • Does he know that?

    • I’m not sure but I don’t think he would be annoyed by that since he seemed kind of concerned about me being a virgin, like I don’t think it was something he liked specifically about me

    • Show All
  • You were correct telling him. He should eat you out too or at least finger you to orgasm too. He is not worth it if he is acting like that. He stopped responding because that's what he wanted, only to receive. Leave him and find someone else.