Did my parents react well to finding out about what I did?

[Anonymous]

(I am 17) When I was 15 years old I had sex for the first time with my (now ex) boyfriend who was 16, I told my parents we did out of respect for them and they reacted okay (didn't punish me just was awk). My ex and I broke up about a month ago because he was cheating the whole relationship, I was hurt and decided to cope/rebound by having sex with a different guy. My parents found out about this by going through my phone and they went crazy and started calling me names (pornstar, slut, disgusting, etc), and grounded me. I'm a good kid with good grades, have never drank or smoke, and I was just trying to cope. Did they react bad or am I being naïve?

[MementoMori777]

They reacted like they should have honestly, they were okay with the idea that you were having sexual intimacy with your boyfriend but when they realized you sunk so low to the point to cheat and devalue yourself simply cause he did it to you shows bad character, it not only shows you are vengeful but it also shows you are a cheater, which is a title that will stick with you forever, I'm sure they didn't raise you that way so them figuring it out made them react that way because it's completely understandable that finding out your daughter committing such slutty behavior simply cause someone else did it to you makes you seem low, you are no better than he is basically and that's why it hit them hard, now you can't speak negativity about a cheater cause you are one as well and at that age, I'm sure it's much harder to take in.

[Asker]

Either I worded that poorly or you misunderstood, my boyfriend cheated, we broke up, and THEN I had sex. I did not cheat on him, he cheated on me.

[MementoMori777]

Yea I completely read that wrong, whoops, mybad well I guess they don't agree with the hookup culture, which is understandable as well

[Luckycharms12]

They reacted badly. Ya it's not good idea to cope by fucking random people doesn't take pain away just ego boost. Then feel cheap and shit. Better go heal yourself do you forget about guys for a while not Worth the hassle

[Asker]

To be fair he wasn't just some random guy and it wasn't multiple people but yeah, I agree it was a dumb decision that I did in a moment of hurt but I also felt as if my parents reaction wasn't helpful either.

[marrk]

That’s horrible! They should not call you those names! Was what you did wrong? Yes, but I think you know that. What your ex did was awful and you were hurting badly especially as he was your first. They should have comforted you about your ex, yet told you what you did/were doing (?) with the rebound was wrong and that they were concerned for you since, as you said, you’re a good girl so I assume that means this is out of character.

I hope you can find a healthier outlet like journaling, creating something, counseling, or walking in nature. Remember: healing takes time, but his actions don’t reflect the amazing person you are.

I’m so sorry they reacted this way. Love to you, dear.

Signed,

a teacher.

[LazerBean]

Having sex as a child is infinitely worse than drinking or smoking. You're getting exactly what you deserve at the very least.

[Asker]

Technically, yes, I am still by definition a child but you wouldn't treat a 17 year old the same as a 7 year old. Also, I'm past the legal age of consent to have sex so I don't understand how sex (something legal) is infinitely worse than doing something illegal?

[LazerBean]

You've lessened your potential for success in life. You're already 65 % more likely to divorce just because you slept around.

[Asker]

In the nicest way possible, that's ridiculous. Yes I shouldn't have had sex with my friend to cope but also it was just two guys. I'm not sleeping with my entire town lol. Me having sex does not determine my success in life unless i'm an addict (which i'm not).

[LazerBean]

People with a body count of two to nine are 64% more likely to have a divorce as compared to people who marry the first person they have sex with. Past nine, the percentage grows. People are also less likely to say that they are very satisfied in their marriage as their body count increases. It's not ridiculous, it's statistics.

[Asker]

Statistics aren't always 100%... especially in this day in age those statistics are probably not as reliable or even correct. Having sex is a normal, healthy part of life and claiming that my potential is lessened because I have a sex life is ridiculous. Also if those statistics are tied to marriage success, that's just bs. Your past sexual partners and experiences should be accepted by your partner and if that is one of the reasons your marriage fails then it's probably a good thing it failed. Like I said, the fact that I am sexually active has no correlation to my success and potential in life and saying otherwise is ridiculous.

[WhitneySnow]

They reacted really badly

[Wise4myage]

No, they did not react well. But you have to realize they only want what's best for you.

[Z1pTD]

You didn't react perfectly, but you reacted in a way that's not completely awful or shocking. They should never describe their daughter that way. Also they shouldn't have been going through your phone.

[Anonymous]

You were a slut even if you are not a vicious in other aspects.

[Asker]

I wasn't asking if I was a slut lol. I'm not, I had sex with 2 people and not at the same time, nor did I cheat.