Do guys honestly have higher sex drives than women?

So I've been in a relationship for in a few years coming up on 5 or 6 years honestly he's probably better with the dates than I am. When we first met we had crazy sexual attraction. I understand Dynamics change in a relationship and that overtime life happens but what the hell is a normal number for sexual I don't know encounters lets say in a month. Because honestly if he'd let me I'd still jump him everyday if hed let me and the funny thing is he's younger I'm not sure what I can do to fix it but I want to know what I can do to try to fix it?
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Superb Opinion

  • Yes- but that doesn't mean that A man does (oh, for an italics button...). There isn't a real "normal" number for sexual encounters in a given timeframe; it's all down to the individual couple. But you want more, and that's a reasonable thing to want. So let's think this through.

    The first question is, is this a recent change? The past sixteen months has been a nightmare for many people, and has hit some much harder than others. It's not just the direct fear, but also the money worries, the concerns that all this could happen again at any time, and the social fears, all adding up to a cocktail of misery and depression-inducing horror that I pray never happens again. I doubt there's ANY form of mental issue that couldn't result from this, and those can screw your life up in any way it's possible for your life to BE screwed up. But let's assume for the moment that it's not.

    Okay, then- what happened to his sex drive? Age can do a number on it (possible but not likely if he's younger than you), as can stress or health issues (physical or mental). And while things do tend to drop down as the novelty of a new relationship wears off, that usually sets is earlier than five years. So here are some things you may want to try, in more-or-less escalating order of intensity and possible affront:

    -Try to do more together in general- non-sexual stuff. Strengthening that connection can improve the sexual one.
    -Ask if there's something new he'd like to try. Sometimes new turn-ons or even outright fetishes develop, seemingly out of nowhere, and people can be embarrassed or even ashamed by them. Listen non-judgmentally, and remember that if you balk at it, there's probably a milder version of whatever it is that you could try out.
    -Along the same lines, suggest something new. Agreeing to do something once doesn't mean agreeing to do it forever.
    -Talk to him and straight-up ask for more sex. I doubt that the phrase "we need to talk" has ever preceded something good; you could be the first! "We need to talk: I've got a new cookie recipe that I want to try, plus I want to have more sex with you". This can be modified if you...
    -Remember that it can be something quicker and simpler. Sometimes even the prospect of a full-length sexcapade can be exhausting; people forget that the odd spontaneous blowjob (or what have you) is an option as well. Sometimes people go from the idea of "you shouldn't ignore your partner's sexual needs" to "any sexual indulgence MUST be reciprocated on a 1-to-1 basis, immediately if possible", but relationships aren't about keeping score; if need be, make it clear that that moment is all about him (or you, if it's the other way around; him seeing you so aroused may well get his motor running). This can be particularly useful if he's having stress issues; once he knows that it's an orgasm and not an obligation, it can be FANTASTIC as stress relief (it'll also feel good for you to be caring for someone you care about for no other reason than to make them happy, but you probably know that already). And a variation on that is to...

    • -Build him up sexually, but don't finish him off. Depending on how well you know his physical reactions, you can take him right up to the edge, then back down. It'll make for a more intense orgasm when it does happen, but it'll also get his hormones flowing, particularly if you... -Ask him to cut back on his masturbation. This is a particularly double-edged sword; masturbation isn't just about orgasms, it's also about clearing your mind and resettling yourself and your thoughts. Under no circumstances (save weird medical ones) should you be asking him to stop entirely (for anything other than a brief period of time); that's just asking for trouble. But if he has less sexual energy than you, saying "Hey, could you save more of that for me?" isn't unreasonable. It DOES mean taking on more responsibility for him, sexually, but it sounds like you're willing to do that. If you DO go this route, make sure you understand that it's not about putting your own needs first, but about helping him refocus his sexual energy on you. You need to engage with him MORE, not less, and show him (not just tell him) that you love him.

Most Helpful Guy

  • Everyone is different. Some people, both men and women, have high libidos and some don't. So I don't think it's possible to stereotype all guys and girls.

    I always had a strong libido and fucked my girlfriends at least once a day. Some of them were kind of passive, but still let me fuck them whenever I wanted.

    One particular girl that I lived with for over a year when I was 37 and she was 31 had a crazy libido. We fucked at least twice a day and sometimes for hours at a time without a pause. She didn't even care much about cunnilingus but LOVED cock and would orgasm like a maniac.
    I found her vibrating dildo early on and she admitted that she sometimes masturbated when I wasn't around (we both worked full time). That only increased my admiration for her. I never ever got bored of sex with her or got tired of her as a person.

    I'm sorry that you aren't getting what you desire. You deserve to be satisfied. But I have no idea what's going on in your boyfriend's head.

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What Guys Said

(21)
  • No, they don’t.

  • Sometimes there is unfortunate shift in sex drives in hetero relationships. Guys are usually happy to jump the gun quick while the girl is usually more initially nervous. Then as time goes he gets more even keel while she becomes more comfortable with him which opens up her own sex drive.

    Guys can be happily monogamous but unfortunately our biology makes us crave more variety. That doesn’t mean we will cheat but we her bored quickly.

  • Really, normal is whatever you want to make it! When I was with Madame Ex, we'd fuck at least 3 times a week!!! Apparently, it was pretty much any time I wanted it!! A few years later, after she stopped fucking me, she said that I'D had enough and that she was ONLY fucking me because she thought she was doing her bit to make ME happy!! Ooooooookay!!
    I'd say, unless he just doesn't want to, go ahead and jump his bones!!
    In answer to the header question, I was gonna say: how often do YOU want it as opposed to how often he wants it? From what I can tell, girls don't want to fuck all that much! Not sure why since they have the bits that can make sex incredibly explosive for them AND they can cum several times in a row, if they want!! If I could do that, I'd never leave the house!!! Once WE'RE spent, that's usually pretty much it for a little while until we can reload the love gun!! "PUT A COUPLE MORE SHELLS IN THAT CANNON!!! SHE'S COMING BACK FOR ANOTHER ATTACK!!!" But, we're always horny again a few hours later, or less!! From what I've seen, pornos not included, girls are generally only horny just before they get a visit from their aunt Flow. Once the red dollar days are over and she no longer has to worry about putting the napkin on sticky side up, she's good for another 2 or 3 weeks!! "No, thanks, honey! I'm still dealing with the last load."

  • Get a NEW Guy?
    I'd do you every day as well.
    Maybe he's got a side-chick.

  • Yes sure

  • Women are about quality and men are about variety.

  • I think guys have higher sex drives than women when they are younger but I think there sex drive goes dowmn when they get older while the women sex drive stays the or goes higher as they get older. The only way to fix is a sexual performance pill or try to spice up things in the bedroom.

  • How much younger? And no, guys don’t have higher sex drives for the most part. Women on the other hand tend to get hornier as they age. How many times in a month at your age and he’s younger? I’d say 2 times a day at minimum. So about 60?

  • I can explain what you are experiencing

    Sexual desire is controlled by testosterone in both men and women. When women are 18 they have a much higher ratio of estrogen than testosterone. By your age you estrogen has dropped and your ratio of free T to Estrogen is much higher. That is why they say that a women's sexual peak is in her mid thirties and men's is around 18.

    Your boyfriends T has lowered from its peak but it is more likely that his diminished desire is because you have been together for so many years. It is normal for the sex to wane over time. This is small comfort to you as you get hornier and hornier

  • Not in my experience

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