I think the problem is that you're assuming that friend material = potential relationship material. For the purpose of FWB, physical attractiveness needs to be at least somewhat present.
Think about it: how many guy friends do you have that you can say you would want to be in a relationship with, or even a life partner with? Being a friend does not equal being a potential girlfriend or wife. Friends are the people I would want to hang out with every now and then to do something fun with. They're not the kind of people I'd want to come home to every day and sleep next to.
For example: I have a female friend who is pretty cool, and I've hung out with her before just for fun. Given the chance, I would have a FWB relationship with her, because she's fun to be around. However, she's also a partier, drinker, and a smoker, none of which I would want to put up with every day. As such, she's a friend, she would make a fun FWB, but I wouldn't want her as a girlfriend.
Like scbigmac07 said, FWB is mainly a means of having sexual fun and sexual release with someone that's fun to be with, but without wanting the commitment of a relationship with that person.
I think (at least from my experience) that a lot of guys cross emotional lines in friends with benefits friendships, such as sharing personal feelings they don't feel comfortable talking to the guys about. That's where a lot of the friends with benefits confusion comes from. There are buddies that you hang with and friends you share your inner life with, but because girls are considered easier to share with, I think fwbs get used emotionally as much as they get used for sex.
This is so backwards from the stereotype. You're saying girls don't date guys because they don't look good enough and then you're going on to say that guys don't care about looks when it comes to sex.
You've got it completely wrong.
First of all, your idea about the friend zone I really hope is false. I can't confirm or deny it but I'd like to think girls aren't so shallow.
Secondly, friends with benefits are people who are friends, and are attractive but don't want to date because they don't really get along in a romantic setting. For example, I could have a hot friend who I wasn't really interested in romantically, but we have sex on a regular basis for fun.
I think when she said that a girl will not date a guy whom she is not "sexually attracted" to, I don't think she was implying that the guy is unattractive. "Sexual attraction" does not refer only to looks, but to the actual chemistry the girl has with the guy. I might find a man very handsome, but still feel no sexual attraction towards him whatsoever. Likewise, I might find a man relatively lacking in the looks department, but because of his personality/humor, I will still find him attractive.
Precisely! What makes men sexually attractive is complex for women.
Social status then? I guess that makes it a little more believable but not less shallow.
Most guys need some attraction in order to have sex with someone...unless they're really desperate. That's not the reason at all most people get into FWB situations. There's tons of other reasons why a guy could want a FWB relationship.
I have been in that situation with a guy and I know for a fact he thought I was really hot, we had really great sex but there weren't any romantic feelings or anything like that
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What's Your Opinion? Sign Up Now!When I have a strictly FWB relationship it's because I don't want a commitment. I want the friendship and sexual benefits, but not necessarily the label and obligations that go with it. I want to be able to be free to talk to some other girl or hook up with them. I enjoy their company but don't see us ending up together.
..but what makes her of less value than the girl you would commit to, if you enjoy her company and enjoy her sexually? It really confuses women when you hang out, talk, sleep together, but aren't dating material.
Sometimes it's as simple as I just close my eyes and try to see my life and whether or not I see her in it. And first thing first, I let the girl know my intentions ahead of time. So there is no confusion. It's not like we hang out or sleep together all the time, it's more like her and the rest of my friends go hang out, and we occasionally sleep together. it's that simple. If they attempt to make it something more than what it is than that's on them, I told them how I feel.
I agree with you there. Not too many guys are bold enough to throw it out there from the beginning. It's the "gray area" and intentional confusion that hurts girls most, like when guys act caring to keep the benefits flowing. And chasing away other guys and being possesive in public just to keep her to himself. Those things infuriate me.
I think that a guy could just go get a hooker., if he just wanted sex.
Friends-with-benefits are supposed to be attractive.
They probably just don't wanna date them., for reasons unknown by me,
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