Do kids know their sexual orientation?

[heidiy]

I always told that you don't know if you want to be gay, straight or transgender when you aren't sexually active. I guess it makes sense. What do you think?

[sugarette]

I think it varies from person to person. For example, I knew I was bi around probably 13, and it was completely emphatic and unwavering. I wanted it to be different, and tried to be straight for long enough, but I always knew from being small that it would never be different.

But others come to the realization later in life. You do hear of people who sort-of ‘find out’ in their 60s. Most people? Around puberty, during adolescence, or perhaps early adulthood.

I know a girl who's always had crushes on girls. Even as a kid. If people are never young enough to know they're straight, then it's the same for LGB people.

[heidiy]

Thank you for your opinion! Very helpful :)

[TPI93]

I think some always have a feeling and know they are gay. Most I think it's a later in life realization when they start dating etc.

[heidiy]

I agree!

[ravedave]

Not really no. You tend to stick to what you THINK is right, until you're able to truly explore your own sexuality. I had a hard time coming to terms with the fact that I was Bi because I just kept pushing it down to feel like I was straight. I didn't truly understand until I started experimenting.

[heidiy]

Yea, I agree.

[aa180]

Huh? When I was a kid I'd get erections just by looking at women's breasts as well as watching (softcore) sex/kissing scenes in movies that focused on the girl in the scene. I also only had crushes on girls and not guys. So I knew I was straight before I even learnt my timestables.

[kittycat119]

That and nothing 2 do with the women. Kids just get erections sometimes. Has nothing 2 do with them getting horny or turned on

[heidiy]

I never knew about penises or their usages when I was younger and didn't think of them as attractive at all (probably didn't know what they looked like, either). Thanks for your opinion, though. I guess it's just peoples mental development romantically that changes whether they know or if they don't, then?

[aa180]

@kittycat119 Wow, you clearly don't understand erections and how they are a direct and non-random response to specific stimuli. @heidiy I'm not sure, I think the 'figuring out' stage differs from person to person.

[kittycat119]

I work at a daycare. I sadly know how the dick works on kids. The baby boys get erections all the time 4 no reason. They just happen sometimes. Doesn't have 2 b from anything sexual. They could have movedand caused it to get erect. You got erections because sometimes they just happen. Not because u where horny. Because you didn't go through puberty yet and your body wasn't reacting 2 something that turned u on

[aa180]

@kittycat119 Nope, I'm still gonna have to disagree with you there. You're talking about young toddlers, I was referring to myself at the ages of 7+. If my erections were just random (according to you), why did I mostly get them specifically when subjecting my eyes to erotic stimulus? Why did I experience a desire to get physical with the girl/s I was viewing on screen by wanting to imitate what the guy was doing to her (mostly kissing)? Why did I experience a desire to want to see the girl fully naked and touch her all over? Yes, I had these feelings when I was that age and clearly they were indeed sexual and indicative of my sexual orientation. The main difference back then was that I didn't really know how to have sex and I didn't even know what girls had between their legs (i. e. vaginas) or what role my penis had in the act of sex itself. But that doesn't mean my erections had nothing to do with sex.

[kittycat119]

You just think you did. Even teen boys get boners randomly. And because kids mimic what they see. I mean if kids see people kiss they wanna try. I've had boys at the daycare try kissing each other becaud they saw me kiss my boyfriend and they wanted 2 do the same.

[heidiy]

@aa18o & @kittycat119 Erections can be totally random. They can be. I have known little, little kids that have gotten erections for no reason. However, I have known boys from seven and six, even, onwards that get erections when they see something that older people would get turned on by. I also think, Kitty, whilst you may know of younger kids getting boners completely randomly and therefore have the knowledge to say some of the things you are saying, we should leave it with the person who actually has a dick to recount his memories.

[heidiy]

@aa180 *

[aa180]

@heidiy Thank you

[CountessSarah]

Transgender is not a sexual orientation.

I would however disagree. Kids will know what they're attracted to before they're sexually active.

[heidiy]

Yeah, I didn't mean transgender as a sexual orientation; just that the kid knows that they dislike being their biological sex.

[LisaLisa89]

I was always confused about mine until about 17 years old.

[heidiy]

Thanks for the opinion!

[Hurlyburly]

I only had crushes on guys since I can remember. So long before having any kind of sexual desires I was pretty much straight.
And I also disagree that it matters what you "want" to be. I wished myself to be a lesbian instead numerous times during puberty just because it was easier to understand women than men. But whop-de-doo, I'm still attracted to men instead of women.

[heidiy]

I do recall crushing on boys (I didn't quite realise that it was a 'crush' but it definitely was) before I even knew about sex or anything to do with relationships, parting from what my parents portrayed. Thanks for the opinion.

[kittycat119]

Depends. When i was 5 and in kindergarten I knew I loved my best friend. And not like a kid either I had actually feelings for him and knew I wanted 2 b with this boy. So I think he's kids do know

[kittycat119]

Yeah^

[heidiy]

Yes, I believe that too. I just got told a lot when I was younger (and still now) that 'things were simpler' and such. Basically, saying that kids would like other kids if they could run fast or draw well, rather than other skills or attributes that are deemed more attractive as one ages.

[kittycat119]

Nope I actually liked him 4 reasons I would now as an adult. Running and things like that didn't matter.

[Repa33]

They still have crushes

[theharlequin]

Personally, I have serious issues with other people telling me what I don't know about myself. As if they have the audacity to think they're more of an authority on me than I am.

[heidiy]

I totally see how that can affect someone. Thanks for the opinion!

[Welshman2]

People don't want to be straight, gay or bisexual. They don't have a choice because it is decided before they are born - it is in their genes.

You won't know what sexuality fate has assigned you until you become sexually aware but it isn't a choice.

[heidiy]

Yeah, I know that. I was just told - as were my friends - when we were younger that 'you don't know until you've tried'. I know you can't not be gay when you were genetically wired like that, and the same for hetero's, but educators and role models have portrayed this message to almost all my friends.

[Anon-ymous1]

Mostly. Kids aren't like stupid or a different species or something. Why wouldn't they know? Think about your own past. What do you know?

[heidiy]

Yeah, I did know. I was just told a lot by teachers, parents and other role models that we didn't know and we were all just making it up. Thanks for your opinion.

[Anon-ymous1]

Then they were being small-minded and short-witted and refusing to actually think clearly about the issue.

[heidiy]

Thanks for the opinion!

[mythreya18]

Yes kids don't know

[Cloude_2]

i did know my fetish when i was a little kid, though i didn't know its a fetish i knew it when i was older

[heidiy]

Thanks for your opinion! :)

[Cloude_2]

no prob, pm me for more information if you want

[SallySmitten]

every person is different

[LisaLisa89]

Yes. I had friends who were absolutely certain about their orientation when they were 13, and others who were like me and couldn't work it out until much later.

[heidiy]

@LisaLisa89 Yeah, I liked people but didn't think of it sexually, didn't know if I liked girls or boys or anything. Later on, still as a teenager, I learned. I think it is definitely development of the person rather than an exact fact.