Do men find comfort in sex after a heated argument?

Me and my boyfriend of 2 years have had a really rocky relationship, things are getting a lot better since the beginning of this year. But I’ve noticed something, anytime I get angry with him, we will bicker back and forth, then the “I love you” or “I miss you” texts roll through when he’s at work. And he’s extra clingy when he does get home and then tries to be intimate with me. He’s not the clingy type, not the affectionate type or the touchy type. So is it just a sucking up type of thing, or is it a form of comfort to make him feel like if we end up having sex, that’s everything’s okay and that I won’t be mad anymore? I’m kinda stumped.
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Superb Opinion

  • Well, make up sex is certainly a bad habit to get into, because that will only lead to future expectations that having sex will be related to having arguments.

    The better solution is communication. If you're both red-eyed with anger and frustration it's better to take some time out, whether that be 10 minutes, an hour, a day. After some time out the emotions of you and your partner both have settled down and you can both start to think more rationally. That's when you need to talk and discuss the issue and why it happened in the first place.

    Personally, there's no way I could have sex after an argument, let a lone a heated argument. I need to resolve the situation and discuss what happened. Although it does make it damn difficult when your partner is the Avoidant Attachment Style type, meaning they withdraw from the situation and avoid talking about it, essentially blocking any communication. With that sort of behaviour, things are left unresolved and get swept under the carpet, only to fester in one's subconscious, leading to all manner of future relationship problems.

    I guess my point is, sex is not the answer in times of argument, communication is.

    • MHO.

Most Helpful Guy


  • Well first of all go to the arguments about is there about him wanting sex and you don't want to have sex then you have an argument and text back and forth and then you have sex well that's just not right for me I don't like to argue anyway I don't see any need for it and I really don't want to have sex after an argument because if you do that then why are you are you arguing there's a point to an argument sometimes most of the time it's just somebody has to be Vindicated that they are right I would rather just have communication and hear what each other has to say and agree or disagree or compromised or whatever it takes can have sex baby but not after an argument

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What Guys Said

(30)
  • Well yes and for sure because we’re disconnected up to that point.

    • Neuroscience as well as behavioral sciences explain why. The Neurologist on another question that I tried posting in Sexually but they put in Religion explains Neurological happenings involved better than I can. It’s got the words God, Neuro Science, and Culture in Question. READ the SCIENCE part…it is capitalized SCIENCE. The MDs book title is tgere too. Your Experience or Post will be helpful for others too. Please consider posting on it. Generally BUT not detailed like the Neurologists explain the Brain, Body, and Emotional bonding…. Generally, Guys form emotional connection after Sex whereas women usually require emotional connection prior to sexual intercourse.-UNLESS the SCIENCE explained in the religious section question is in place in the human being. Read Science in other question…

    • The Sex, per Science, probably reestablishes the Bond or Connection. BUT, with all the various cases in the Neurologist book…YOURS may not be like my description. The medical research book is loaded with others relational Experiences. Check it out…Let the people with proper knowledge and understanding explain. PLEASE POST YOUR EXPERIENCE there. Thanks!!!

  • Actually - at least for me - having sex dissipates any tension that I may be having and my anger vanishes. And whatever it is that we argued about, it probably isn't that important and I don't want to stay angry at my partner. So, having sex is a great way to put the conflict in the rearview mirror.

  • Makeup sex can be very hot

  • Most guys would find comfort in sex after watching a train wreck.

  • Difficult question, very hard to answer , my mother explained to me or rather let it out by accident , but it was back in the day that the pill and contraception were not well used , she let it out that I was the product of make up sex , my mother and father or mm y father more to the point left me and my mother when I was 6 years old pisses me off a bit , but happy to have had the life I've had , really a hard question, I can't answer it only give you my personal view

  • Yes, we find comfort in sex after arguments.

  • No. The problem still remains. I prefer solving the problem and then celebrating it with sex after.

  • It sounds like he may be afraid you will leave him and feels you won't leave if you are still intimate with him. It might be beneficial to discuss the relationship and assure him that you aren't going to leave over petty stuff.

  • That's exactly right! He figures if you fuck him, everything is forgiven if not forgotten. My question is why do you stay in such a rocky relationship when it's obvious that you crave affection, touch and something who clings to you just enough to let you know that you mean something to him? The only time this guy seems to care is if he thinks he's gonna lose you.

  • No. I hate arguments.

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