Do women believe men demand sex on the first date?

I'm in college and I can't help but think that way. We believe college men want to get high, play video games and have sex. If you're not going to have sex with him he won't date you. I'm not talking about past generations. I'm wondering if other women have the same sentiments?
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Most Helpful Guys

  • If a guy is demanding sex on the first date, then he never considered you as a relationship partner in the first place.

    If you want a relationship - as I assume you do, since that's what most women want - you have to start by targeting men who want a relationship. Targeting men who aren't interested in a relationship is like fishing for tuna fish in your swimming pool: no matter how good your fishing gear, and no matter what kind of bait you use, you'll never catch one, because tuna aren't found in swimming pools.Second, you need to target guys on your level. If you are a 6, you aren't going to get a guy who is an 8, much less a 9 or a 10. Those guys might have sex with you, but they have no intention of dating you, and there are tons of other women competing for his attention.

    Third, you need to understand that relationships aren't (generally) a man's default priority - a man's default priority is getting laid. That doesn't mean that no men want relationships - lots of men DO want them - but the guys at the top - the popular guys that most women want - don't need to have relationships, because they're already getting all of the benefits, so they're the least likely to want a relationship. You need to make sure, from the start, that you're dealing with a guy who WANTs a relationship or you are completely wasting your time with him, and you absolutely canNOT assume that a relationship is what a guy wants - you have to ASK him, and if he says "no", you must BELIEVE him and move on.

    A man who wants to be in a relationship with you isn't going to push to get sex on the first date - he's going to be pushing for a relationship. Yes, of course he will have sexual interest, but his priority will be the relationship. If the guy IS pushing for sex on the first date, then that tells you that he was never interested in you as a relationship partner - for whatever reason - and his only interest in you is casual sex. If you give him casual sex in hopes that it will change his mind, you are a fool, and you're going to get used, and that will be YOUR fault for being naïve (or just dumb).

    It's true that lots of guys in college aren't looking for a relationship. Relationships are expensive, in money, time, and effort, and lots of guys are poor, in money and in time (especially if they're in a STEM field) - so you have to ASK, and find the ones who ARE interested in a relationship. Most guys feel that they need to get their career going - to get some resources and some status - before they're ready for a serious relationship, because most women won't tolerate a poor guy with no resources, even if he's clearly working towards something better. That's why women tend to date men who are a little older (or more than a little older). Of course, there will be some exceptions, and that's what you need to look for - or you need to be okay with dating a man who is currently poor but is working towards a bright future.

  • I'm out of touch with this current generation but I've seen some of the same confusion in my own when I was younger. I can't speak for other guys but of course, I wanted sex on the first date. That's like the ideal first date. Yet I never pressured a girl, or put my hands on her in a way that was unwelcome. I never lunged for a kiss, so to speak. Every time I kissed a girl, our faces were already close and she was closing her eyes and her body language was already such where she was closing her eyes and ever so-slightly-leaning forward as to invite me for the kiss.

    It was always a mutual thing, and the one time in my life when I misread the situation, I was kissing a girl passionately, and then she said stopped me always half an hour later when my hands were exploring her body and said it was too soon. So I waited and didn't try that again until it was practically her idea.

    If sex didn't happen on a first date, I wasn't disappointed unless the chemistry and connection were completely lacking. I could be patient. Wanting something and expecting/demanding something are totally separate things.

    Maybe the new generation has become cruder but I think there's still a tendency for women to conflate our desires for our expectations.

    • [...] then she said stopped me [/already] half an hour later [...]

Most Helpful Girls

  • I have never been on a date but I have met people online and talked to them for a while before meeting and generally, I wait a year or so before meeting up and they do expect a kiss or at least try to kiss me on the first meeting. I feel like if it were a date they would try to test their limits. If you aren't into that then you should set boundaries and try to not go places where they could take advantage of you. But i can't speak for all guys. Most are respectful but you could never be so careful.

    • Do you think it's unreasonable to meet a man for a date and only expect to talk and get to know each other, without any type of physical contact or intimacy?

    • That's my dream, and I'm not alone. I don't even want to have sex until marriage (or till I would marry her) and I'm not even religious. I just want a relationship based on care and connection instead of that stuff. Point is, there are lots of people in this world. Figure out what you want in a guy, and don't settle till you haven't—that's the only way to be happy. Don't let the small subset you may have seen so far make you think you have to adapt to them to get what you want. Good luck!

    • No of course its not unreasonable at all. You just have to make it known so they dont expect something sexual. It also depends on the types of conversations you might have had beforehand

  • Yeap :/ I’ve seen enough of that entitlement to know that tends to be the case. If they even get the slightest hint that they may get lucky, they’ll dive right in.

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What Girls & Guys Said

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  • A lot of college dudes are like that but I don't know of any guys personally that would DEMAND sex on a first date

  • Why not have sex? This is the question...

  • It's not a belief. It's common knowledge

    • I thought maybe it's a college thing. After college people date to get to know each other.

    • The only thing in the way of hot sweaty passionate first date sex is really bad chemistry.

  • Maybe the immature ones do. A gentleman doesn't DEMAND sex or push things into an area where his date is visibly uncomfortable. Nowadays, a lot of women have been told that acting like men has been an empowering experience, so most men hear this, smile inside, and then push her to be "empowered" by opening her legs.