Sexual Relationships 
Sexual Health 
"She already slept with three guys? What a slut" "She started having sex with her boyfriend after only one month! That´s so cheap..."
I´m a good listener, and this is what I hear a lot around me about different people. One of the people being talked about is my close friend. Did you ever judge someone like this? I bet. But here´s the thing with judging: You don´t know the whole story in the first place. in the second place, it´s just too common in our society to instantly judge what we don´t know or do, because what I AM doing is automatically right and applies to everyone, right? Wrong.
There are girls and guys being mature earlier than others. My friend had her first boyfriend with 14 and lost her virginity to him. Most people judge her for that, but why? Because you were still chillin´on musically while she felt ready and had the lust to do it? There was really no pressure, she knew what she was doing and loved him. So, is there any reason why she shouldn´t do it? Since then, she tried out stuff with other guys and had more boyfriends afterwards. So still, is that a bad thing? No, because it´s her, and only her choice.
Or some other friend of mine. he´s gay, slept with five guys since he´s been eleven and is still under age. Woah. That´s what I was thinking too. but Me, and no body else has the right to say that it´s wrong what he´s doing. He´s such a great and funny person, I really love him and I´m so happy we are friends.
I´ve slept with a guy who´s had several friends with benefits with some of my friends. He´s a butterfly, and I knew it. It was a one night stand. Some people might judge but, why should they? I feel comfortable with that, yes, with being "used" for my body, because I also used his body and it felt great.
Some people save themselve until marriage, and that´s fine. Some people, the butterflies, sleep around with lots of people and have casual fun. That´s also fine. I don´t see virginity neither as an achievement in life, nor as some super special treasure to keep. Same with people. My close friend is not a slut of less value than some holy marry who saves her/himself until marriage. I value everyone equally, and I think everyone should. It´s a question of respect and tolerance, and whoever is accepting black people or muslims should be able to accept "sluts" and "Marrys".
It´s about being tolerant. I would definitely not apply all those things to my own life my friends did, but I don´t judge. Slut shaming someone for their lifestyle just because you are just tolerating people living like you is really one of the worst things in society, not only referred to sex, but in general.
Society is not really getting a point of what a slut is. I can tell you my definition of a "slut". For me, it´s a person who is emotionally unavailable and is not able to determine their sexual life or desires, which ends up in irresponsible choices. For me, a slut is more than sleeping with a lot of people having fun. It´s being selfish and so unempathetic, that you put your own sexual lust over the respect to your fellows, which ends up in cheating on your partner, helping someone to cheat, betraying your friend who likes a guy and having a thing with him behind her back, and generally don´t pay attention on the feelings and emotions of the sexual partners, but using them only to satisfy your own lust.
That is a slut for me. Someone unempathetic and selfish, only aiming for their very own satisfaction.
Not to change up with butterflies, people who are having fun, as long as it´s okay for themselves and the people they´re interacting with.
I really want this wrong mindset towards butterlfies to be disappearing, because too much shit is thrown on people living their lifes. Please, just let people how they are. You don´t have to agree with them, but accept and tolerate them, and know the real differents between sluts and butterflies.
Thank you for your attention. Now fly off and have fun, or not.
What Girls & Guys Said
14 55their life, body and choice, I don't judge.
Then why do so many girls refuse to hook up with guys?
Because they aren't sluts. It's okay not to be one; most aren't. It takes a high degree of intelligence and a strong sense of self to overcome the social conditioning most of us are subjected to from an early age.
Sleeping around is bad, but every person can choose whether to do it or not. And only that person will be responsible for all the consequences following his/her choice including slutshaming (I don't support slutshaming though).
I know what a slut is.
To paraphrase a Supreme Court opinion, I may not be able to define a slut, but I know one when I see her.
Yeah. It's a promiscuous woman. A woman who sleeps around a lot.
A virgin too can be called 'slut'
@jacquesvol Anybody can be called anything. Doesn't mean they are one
Exactly. Remember that before you use that insult.
@jacquesvol Ok. I will make sure she's actually promiscuous first
You know what's worse the fact that some "sluts" marry a guy just to cheat on him or not loving and being attracted by him
If a "slut" fuck a lot of guys she should stay with the best of them.
nice take
you have nothing better to do with your life than worrying about trivial stuff
People are free to judge others, telling the wold your actions mean nothing is a childish standpoint. As it would casual sex is the sole cause for how prevalent STD's are in modern society. It is also more difficult for a man to find a partner than a women because their questions related to sex are when and where. Women are a lot more selective in their partners so men have a tougher time, the question they ask is who. From a psychological standpoint people perceive promiscuous women less highly than women who are selective because their selection is based on their view of how much they are worth and how worthy the man is for procreation. As for he skirt length women dress the way they do to attract a mate or deter one. Skirt length would be one of the factors in determining how available she is, after all if it's particularly short then it could be said she dressed to attract men.
Which decade do you live in? Those stereotypes have been dead for the last 20 years. All that's left now is the victimhood complex.
The name is still thrown around on here though.
most of girls are sluts
im a male slut
1.bp.blogspot.com/.../ybnhja.gif
Sure, they are free to do anything they want, and shaming for it is wrong. but they can't expect everyone to accept or like their decisions, and others are free to have any preferences they have.
A slut is any person who has sex with someone they are not emotionally committed to.
If you want to push for promiscuity to be accepted, fine. You're wrong, but fine, whatever. But words mean what they mean, so you can't just change what "slut" means. Either embrace the word proudly, or try to make it go away entirely.
But, until you succeed in the latter?
You are a slut.
I'm quite an abusive boy, but I never used sex related abusive words. So that usually makes my words tolerable. Everyone takes them as a joke when I m not angry. I don't know what a "slut" is, never used word.
Ut I think a slut means a prostitute. Money must be involved involvedinvolvedinvolved i if I use words like that.
Now don't say that prostitutioni is jusf a job like some people on this site say.
In our society, men are tagged as "bad" for having multiple sex partner. So, living in a slightly* conservative society, this mytake is not applicable for my society
Are you joking? What society do YOU live in? Men are congratulated for having sex with multiple women. Women are the ones shamed for doing the same thing.
@VaIiant no In our society it's not true. Premarital sex is forbidden and it's a general thinking that whoever indulges in sexual act before marriage is not on a valid path. It's just a presumption that this person is not paying attention towards his academic life, career or education. so he's said to have "bad " company and he is said to be following " incorrect" path. Dating and relationships are not a norm here, and the only priority is career. Job. Marriage and children's education. But despite of this strict rules of society, many people , girls & boys have gfs and bfs Anybody can have girlfriend or boyfriend here but very very lucky couple gets time and permission to spend time with each other due to regular routine and judgmental attitude of society. But since education is the priority for both parents children everybody including friends. Nobody cares about relationships etc it doesn't feel oppressive. No, it doesn't.
Welcome to an Indian society (moderate). Ilive in an Indian city which is neither too much developed nor too much backward/underdeveloped. So I know both the aspects of an Indian society, poor as well as rich people. Do not completely believe on stereotypes. Yes , it's an individual choice here, most people have aims to become a software engineer, so 80% people run after jee which is one of the toughest exam of the world. Then doctor, civil servants, etc. Nobody cares about their personal life until marriage. So, nothing seems to be oppressive to them. Some guys have gfs , only lucky couples could spend time together. Rarely anybody have sex until marriage. So, education being topmost priority , high competition and lesser job opportunities, along with poverty and expectations of parents, people don't give a damn to these things until marriage. Let me clarify the view. If a person who is jobless has a gf/bf he/she is immediately judged but the opposite doesn't happen.
Oh, then both of what we’ve said is invalid. I live in America, where men who sleep around are idolized.
If a person who has a job, he/she als has gf/bf, then they will not be judged. However, it depends on parents if they give permission for their parents. The girl's parents would check the boy's background, etc and then decide But if parents don't give permission, the couple marries by their own but they get separated from their families Sex before marriage is not allowed but some people do it. If any of the two , (who are having sex with each other) is/are jobless, they would be judged as "bad" or having "bad company" or " following invalid path""... One of my friend's (A's) friend (B) had sex with a girl C (who was the classmate of A and B) and B told A that he had sex with C. B had sex with C. He told this to A ( he should not have told it , as sex is a personal act ) and the dialogues of A were as follows- Note- we were waiting for a city bus when A was saying this in front of two other friends except me So, A ( my intelligent friend, classmate) said-> (Other people who were
Listening agreed upon A) A said- Hindi- " Chii be, mujhe to laga Tha ki won't ladki decent Hai, yaad Hai Alpesh, jab wo nayi nayi ayi this apne class me to Kaiser chup chup rehti thi?" English- " Shit!!(chi be) I thought she was decent. Do you remember Alpesh, how she used to remain silent in the class" I'm typing only English translation now and I remember A's sentences because we can rarely hear that someone has had sex with somebody Further A said- " B must have deluded the decent girl " " Nowadays, B remans with XYZ people. he fell into a bad company. Last time his test score was , I think.. isn't it?( He didn't remember properly) And this time he got only.." " Nowadays he keeps on roaming with those boys on bike and doesn't pay attention to studies. These were the sentences. So , anybody who give high priority to studiesand doesn't have sex until marriage (saves his virginity ) to keep up their parents explainations regarding their career are good
Decent and innocent while people who indulge in sexual activities are said to have distracted from the correct path. Majority of our parents were not able to percieve education because of poverty of their parents (our grandparents) . So parents expectations are high. After all, we have to feed them when their hairs turn grey. So education is the priority. That is the only valid path and nobody should be distracted from it. It's a struggle from poverty to better life , success, earning respect etc.. Nobody is rich here and almost every parent pays 60% of it's income for children's education. So parents say that they made our admission in schools and colleges for studying, not for useless things (timepass) like making gf/bf or relationship. So parents don't allow relationships and sexual relations. Even if some parents is rich, they won't allow it for reasons I don't want to type anymore. So That's how our society works.
Men are NOT congratulated for having sex in our society. Got it? @Valiant Both men and women are judged for having sex b4 marriage. Once, you get stuck into marriage, you can't have sex with anybody else. So there are very less chances to for anyone having multiple sex partner. Men are women are equally judged for for having sex in our society.
I already said both our opinions are invalid. You live in a country with much different standards then mine.
@VaIiant I couldn't see that when I typed this.
Is a woman that when she's with one man will go out and have sex with multiple others?
cdn.shopify.com/.../...d1d071d1f840_1024x1024.jpeg
found the white knight
@TheUsername27 The realist
Nice soundbite, but wrong on many levels.
I love how women can't handle a simple word used to describe a female who can't keep her legs closed. Yet they love tossing words around shaming men for every possible part of being a male.
Women make the decision when it comes to who, when, and, where, sex will happen. Therefore a female who makes endless bad decisions or has very low standards of who and when, is simply a slut.
With great power comes great responsibility, and I know women hate having to take responsibility for ANYTHING they do or say, but if you get the title it's because you earned it.
how is it a bad decision though?
The thing is, it doesn't have a damn thing to do with 'a female'. It has to do with what your agreement is with the other person or persons in your sex (or love) life, how you handle trust and honesty and what constitutes healthy and good behavior FOR YOU. You don't get to tell a woman what makes a 'bad decision' for her any more than you get to tell another man. For exactly the same reasons. If you knew someone in an agreed committed and monogamous relationship and they were sleeping around, then you can say that's unfair and dishonest for their partner, but that's where it ends. There's no such thing as 'keeping her legs together'. That kind of talk went out with ads featuring husbands spanking their wives and segregation of black kids in school.
@honey202 It shows they have little or no respect for who they mate with. If an American eats like a pig all the time because "they can"... they are a disgusting glutton. Because they have an abundance of food at their disposal and therefore should be making better choices about what they put in their body. This is exactly like women and sex. You have infinite options and therefore you need to be more selective about who you let in your body. When you do find a partner who deserves to be with you if you have let every other person with a penis poke it in you... you have essentially made the one truly special and intimate thing between you and that person, nothing more than another activity you do with everyone. Therefore there is nothing special about you.
You clearly don't get laid enough (or at all).
@pixelator2000 Your sad schoolyard shaming tactics and personal attacks don't make what I said less true. But continue your journey into knighthood.
I would like to bring to light that the Take writer is only 16. At 16 she likely doesn’t know what she’s talking about, if she did she would know sex as a minor is statutory rape. Not to mention, 16 is a sophomore in high school.