Do you have any tips for learning to enjoying sex after trauma?

[Inexpensivefurniture]

I don't feel like sharing all the sad details here, but to summarise, I was sexually abused as a kid, and repressed the memories until I was 17.
I've never been able to really enjoy sex, despite having a patient partner and going through therapy for years. Mostly I feel like I'm just waiting for it to be over, or zoning out.
Does anyone have any tips or methods that worked for them or their partners? Beside going to therapy, which I'm doing.
And please, no one suggest CBD oil or edibles.

[Squirts93]

Trauma makes you insecure and forces your body into anxiety mode depending on your triggers. Avoiding the triggers prevents the symptoms but doesn't heal the problem.

Trauma causes the feeling that youve lost control; you feel like crying, running, fighting... And it usually doesn't stop until the neurons responsible for haywiring the synapses that cause that physical reaction run out of juice.

I've had a partner with young traumas. We experimented. I suggested that we try some light bondage and sensory depravation. She was against it at first but I made a deal with her; if she could make it through a night of being dommed by me shed get $100.

Luckily she was very good at showing me what feels good so when I finally had her tied up she just relaxed and enjoyed it. After that night she seemed much more relaxed and eager to try new things. I haven't asked her about her past and she hasn't brought it up.

Tldr; sensory deprivation, sexual reward, and finding new things to focus on.

[Inexpensivefurniture]

That's an interesting approach, but I feel like it would be a really bad time for me. I already feel trapped and out of control during sex, being tied up and knowing I actually AM trapped would send me into a panic. I'm anxious just thinking about it. I know my partner would untie me the second I say to, but I also often freeze and can't get the works out, so I need to be able to physically move away or stop what's happening.

[Anonymous]

I understand it'd hard. I was sexually accused twice when I was younger, I think and it's really hard to do the best thing to do it talk about it. Try explaining to your partner your limits, find a safe word and they'll just have to listen to you. Also, make sure you are actually ready for it.

[Inexpensivefurniture]

Thank you. I do think part of the problem was having sex before I was ready. I think it just added to the problems and made sex less enjoyable. Not much I can do about that now unfortunately, but it is something for me to keep in mind going forward. And with therapy.

[Opinion Owner]

I'm sure you'll be okay :D it takes time but go at your own pace

[Inexpensivefurniture]

Thank you