Do you need emotional connection before you have -sex- with someone?

[Anonymous]

Are you A. I see pussy attached to a hot girl, I wanna fuck it. I see dick attached to a hot guy, I wanna ride it. or B. I need an emotional connection before I do that Being a guy, I'm going for A 100%. I don't even need to know her name.

[Anonymous]

What does "an emotional connection" even mean. Emotions don't connect, they aren't a fluid that passes between people. They are something you feel and you impute to others but can not be sure of. An emotional connection is just a feeling towards someone. I have feelings towards practically everyone I meet. A lot of times they aren't positive.

I would have to have positive feelings about a person to even consider sex, then it would have to pass muster with my rational mind as being a good idea.

[Opinion Owner]

I see people don't like my comment but ask yourself this, how many times have you heard someone say "I really thought we had an emotional connection". The reason this mistake is so common is because it's something you feel and project onto the other person. Your feelings are no indication of theirs, there is no 'connection' only an illusion which may be right or wrong without regard to how you feel.

[ThisDudeHere]

I haven't done it yet but that would be the best scenario for me. I would indeed want a connection before I do it.

[Anonymous]

I've only had sex with one guy, and before that I was too paranoid to have sex when given the chance because I felt like I should know the guy better. Now that I've lost my v I don't know if I'd hook up with random guys just for sex. I probably wouldn't trust them to make it nice for me or to care about my comfort or pleasure so I'd probably wait until we've been flirting for a while.

[Prettygurl12]

I need an emotional connection to even so much as find a guy attractive.

I need a marriage to consider him a sexual partner.

[Asker]

The first sentence is very interesting

[Prettygurl12]

Isn't it, though?

[samhradh_leannan]

That's how I am too. Not everyone is like that though.

[snowangle]

I think there's a word for that actually. Demisexual? Perhaps.

[Prettygurl12]

Pretty damn sure I'm straight. Just straight. I don't buy into the bullshit sexualities that people are coming up with.

[samhradh_leannan]

There's nothing wrong with having a means to define a concept. That's all words are to begin with. You don't have to identify as demisexual if you don't want to, but that doesn't mean the idea of it is necessarily bullshit.

[Cookies_AndMilk]

You don't need to know her name? What about AIDS? Is that a good nickname for her?

[Asker]

the chances of me getting aids when using protection is like 0.000001% Ill take that risk for some nice pussy...

[Cookies_AndMilk]

For some nice AIDS you mean. ;)

[KRIEL55]

you can get aids even from going down on her. smh.

[Cookies_AndMilk]

@KRIEL55 Yes girl. Thank you. lol.

[KRIEL55]

yup aha and "for nice pussy"? howww would you know its nice just because her face looks nice? it might be busted up and loose af haha if she's as big of a hoe as this guy, that would be the case for sure.

[Asker]

@KRIEL55 I'm not gonna go down on a girl I don't know lol. I'll just rubber up and fuck her!

[samhradh_leannan]

I don't even really find people attractive until I know them as a person and have an emotional connection with them.

[InconspicuousBox]

Do you identify as demisexual?

[samhradh_leannan]

@InconspicuousBox I'm honestly not sure. I only recently heard the term for the first time. But I definitely think my sexuality aligns at least partly with demisexuality.

[samhradh_leannan]

I can consider people attractive without knowing them on a personal level. But I can't feel attracted TO them in the sense of actually feeling desire for them or wanting to have sex with them.

[InconspicuousBox]

That makes sense, and I believe that's still in alignment with demisexuality. There are people I find attractive, too--but I'm still asexual. They're attractive, but the feelings are never sexual. I could be demisexual, but I wouldn't know yet, as I haven't really gotten that close to anyone.

[samhradh_leannan]

That's interesting. I'm curious. As you are asexual now, do you have a sex drive at all (i. e. do you masturbate etc.) but just lack the desire to share sex with another person so far? Or do you lack an interest in sex completely, as of now? I always had a fairly high sex drive, even before I ever started dating or having sex. I fantasized about having sex, but it always featured either someone who I had an emotional bond with for real, or an imaginary character who I had to imagine an emotional bond with prior to the fantasy. Then once I started dating, I could ONLY have sexual feelings about my boyfriend.

[AmandaLynn1930]

i dont need any kind of emotional connection. i dont associate sex with emotion at all. which has its perks... but also has its downfalls...

[Nerdvana]

So very true

[snowangle]

I've only had sex with one guy, and he's the love of my life. I couldn't imagine doing it with someone I didn't share these feelings with. I love that after every time we do it, we cuddle and tell each other I love you. It makes sex meaningful.

[moistycakes]

I can easily separate sex from emotions. I don't need an emotional connection, however I do need to like the personality of the person or else I won't be interested in sex.

[GirlsLie]

I have to like someone to be sexually attracted to them. I can find them attractive initially but that can change with how their personality turns out. I've found guys more attractive because of their personality and less because of it as well. In order to sleep with someone I would have to love them first though.

[cristiana]

I need an emotional connection AFTER I do it. It's the "after" part that feels weird after sex with someone you're not connected to.

[justbanANNAz]

100%. i wouldn't even dream of sex without an emotional connection.

[WhatTheHellAmy]

Never had sex but I've had "one blowjob stand". I don't remember the names of the dudes lol

Nah, sex is sex, I don't need love for it

[samhradh_leannan]

Sex and blowjobs won't necessarily affect you the same way. Just be aware.

[WhatTheHellAmy]

@samhradh_leannan That's very true... what I meant is that i don't need an emotional connection to do sexual things

[Xoxoxooo123]

I really need an emotional connection. If I don't feel it, you're my buddy lol.

[abundantlyrich]

You must be reptilian if you don't know even know what emotional connection is.

[ChocoLada]

Yes, of course :)

[26ukdude]

The older I get, the more random sex and the thought of it loses its appeal. I still would though if I was really horny. So I voted A

[yungmami]

Emotional connections are for losers

[KRUGEN]

Guys in A should buy pocket pussies instead... Bitches!!

[ConfusedAnon]

i don't need an emotional attachment but i need to know the person and get along with him

[Phoenix98]

Sorry but I'm a B kind of guy.

[K1ll3r98]

i want to feel in love with a girl before thinking of sex

[Cheetahs]

emotional connection because i want to feel something. I want to know if this is the real deal and i believe things will not turn out bad

[tony72722]

At this point in my life yes. A couple years ago no I was sleeping with everyone.

[COCOCHANEL]

i need emotional connection

[OrdinaryGentleman]

I need emotional connection first

[Evil_romantic]

I dont even need to know shit about her.

[CBryan]

I'm not a slut, so I vote C, for wedding CEREMONY.

[MartineVoisine]

are you implying that if someone has sex before their wedding, they're automatically a slut?

[Cookies_AndMilk]

I like this, you're awesome. :) @CBryan

[Cookies_AndMilk]

@MartineVoisine Does it matter? He has a right to his own opinion no?

[MartineVoisine]

@Cookies_AndMilk Yeah in fact it does. Of course he has a right to his own opinion. But what does it do to him if someone has sex before their wedding? Does it directly affect his life in a negative way? I don't think so, therefore I see no valuable reason for him to insult anyone who would do so.

[Cookies_AndMilk]

@MartineVoisine How is that an insult though? He's not pulling anyone to the side and personally telling them he thinks they're a slut, if he feels like it's a slutty thing to do to have sex before marriage then it's how he feels, and if you or me, or anyone else falls within that category then that's how he views us. And it's perfectly fine, because it's an opinion. The only reason I can think of someone being upset by that is if they actually were a slut or felt that way about themselves and didn't want anyone else bringing that up.

[MartineVoisine]

@Cookies_AndMilk an opinion would be: I think that it is not a good thing to have sex before marriage. By saying people who do that are sluts, you're judging the people who do it and not the action. It would be wrong to say: everyone who waits until marriage is a prude and a creep. Why do people always feel the need to judge others?

[MartineVoisine]

@Cookies_AndMilk Also, I do not see how a signature on a piece of paper and wearing a white dress can change everything. Saying that also implies that if a girl had sex with one guy in her WHOLE life but she never married him, she'd be a slut? this is ridiculous.

[Cookies_AndMilk]

@MartineVoisine I'm not going to argue with you because it's your opinion but I don't understand why people treat judgments as if they're a bad thing when they're not. If he considers that slutty he considers it slutty, someone's opinion doesn't mean it's a fact so why give a damn?

[MartineVoisine]

I still respect your opinion though. Our opinions are just very different and as you said, I don't think arguing is worth it. Thank you for sharing your opinion, I still find it refreshing to talk to people who do not have the same opinion as I do.

[CBryan]

The dictionary definition of the word slut is: a woman (or man) who has (many) casual sexual partners. I believe sexual relations are extremely personal, intimate and definitely not something casual to do with random people. I would prefer to not compare my future wife with any other woman, and would appreciate a similar outlook towards me as a husband. Dating is a process in which you're looking for a spouse, you're figuring out if a person is the type of person you would want to spend your life with. If it turns out that he/she isn't, and you already had sex, now you're moving on to another person and bringing into that new relationship the experience with the previous partner. Now there's secrets, and baggage, and now people will be judged as good or bad in bed. When the reality is that's its the right or wrong time. I'm not insulting or shaming anyone. If a person thinks the behavior is OK, more power to them. I don't, for me. :)

[KaranSharma55]

voted - A dude

[Anonymous]

I can only have sex if I love the guy.

[Anonymous]

I may feel the urge to sleep with a hot guy, but actually doing it requires a little more. Not necessarily true love forever, but some connecting that takes more than one night.

Except I did have a friends with benefits for about a year that I wasn't into emotionally at all. He wasn't better looking or more charming than other guys or anything, I was just rebounding hard and he started hitting on me. He was rebounding too, so it was a good fit.

[Anonymous]

I'm not gonna say I rely completely on personality/connection, but I enjoy sex more with someone that I truly feel like I know and understand