I told this guy that I was sexually assaulted because something he said triggered a memory. He said I should've told him... as if you can discuss such like you would the weather... earlier
He even indirectly blamed me for not telling him and him using this word
Anyway we'd never met in person just been texting
Wow. That guy is an ass hole. Is he upset that you aren't a virgin or something? Anyway, you no longer have a reason to waste time on that loser. Whew.
I suppose it's important information to disclose once you are embarking on a steady relationship. I mean, it's an important part of your past and a real partner would want to know.
I had a most amazing girlfriend when I was 37. She was 30. Shortly after we started going together (and were sexual), she told me that she was a recovering alcoholic and was also going to therapy for childhood trauma.
She had been sexually abused by her step father for almost 10 years, from a very young age until she reached puberty. It naturally messed up her head and led to alcoholism. She got married and had a kid when she was 16 or 17. She got divorced a few years later and had visitation rights with her son who was out of state. Her ex wasn't a bad guy.
By the time I met her, she was an amazing women. She smart, plucky, had a career and was determined to make good.
I loved and admired her SO much! I liked everything about her.
I didn't hold her past against her at all. The trauma she had suffered made my heart ache. The only person I had a problem with was her step father. What a monster! I wished that I could feed his balls to him.
A girlfriend told me, it was kind of early on, but it was a stage in the relationship where it was becoming serious. It would come up on phone calls hinting she had something to tell me at the right time, she trusts me and nothing to worry about. We've already had sex, talked through those details, so it wasn't an STI or anything like that. Like the thought of anything sexual didn't really cross my mind.
We planned a weekend getaway at a beach resort for the next date. Kind of a chill first night with dinner somewhere, got to the resort for some drinks and talked a lot, like intimate things. We got to the room, we still wanted to talk and we had our drinks still, so we hung out on the balcony ocean view. It eventually got lightly intimate and we ended up on the bed. While still in this kissy fest, she started to back away, it was weird and i remember holding her saying it's okay. Then the eyes really got big and said she couldn't breathe. She kind of broke down, and I was consoling her that it's okay. She was relying on alcohol instead of Xanax that night for her anxiety control, so it was a slight panic attack over this thing. She cried, like she disappointed me and I ensured her this is a safe place if you have to tell me something. I held her in my arms, it was the assault she wanted to tell me about.
It happened when we were both going to the same school but she never told me all this time, and was afraid how I'd react because how much she loves me. I reassured her whatever happened wasn't her fault, you are safe with me, and how I love her too.
It was a lot balled up, certainly a major step forward. I'm sharing this because I know this can very challenging for some. I say in the time period when you find out they could be serious relationship material.
Scroll Down to Read Other Opinions
What's Your Opinion? Sign Up Now!She's hurting... very brave... fragile.
Thanks. He didn't understand that at all And there was such a click I thought I could've fallen in love with him
Yikes... Maybe he needs some time to process things. 10 days to a month?
No. No. I don't want anything to do with him.. it's very complicated but no. Not when he said things and even when confronted by it, didn't acknowledge
I think it might be good to bring up before having sex if you want (if you want to bring up boundaries and expectations), but not before the first date, unless you plan to have sex.. I dunno. Really depends how close and comfortable you are with him.
And how do you propose that is done when you just met - drop the information like I would a flavor of ice cream.
It's a lot of baggage, yes the woman should tell that as soon as possible.
And how do you propose that is done when you just met - drop the information like I would a flavor of ice cream
Not like ice cream but when you told talk about sexual/romance stuff you should tell him.
I would say yes, but that's because I don't ever want to be in the position where I trigger something because I didn't know.
And how do you propose that is done when you just met - drop the information like I would a flavor of ice cream.
I don't consider someone I just met to be in a relationship with me.
Then why respond when THAT was the jest of the conversation
I think that’s the fort of thing that normally should be explained to a guy in person so you observe each other’s body language (and therefore your sincerity).
It's not necessary, but if it becomes relevant, like it did when he triggered you I think it's right to discuss at that point. It feels like he's being unreasonable
It honestly depends on how much she trusts him or if he is a douchebag or not
Not right away
You should disclose whenever you're ready, but if you have been meeting together in person and you still don't want to tell them, then there may be a problem.
I think that if its going to get serious then yes. Its important for both to know about each other if your heading into something long term etc.
Sexual Relationships 
Sexual Health 
AI Bot Choice
Superb Opinion