Do you think it’s wrong that my partner is trying to get me to look gothic because it’s what he’s into now?

[Sareuh90]

So when I met my man I was blonde tan blue eyes loved summer dresses and wearing really cute clothes he always told me he loved my style and thought I was so gorgeous and he said I was the woman of his dreams fast forward 8 years later he wants me to be pale dye my hair black where gothic clothing get tattoos.. that’s what he’s really into but I feel like shit like he’s trying to change me like he doesn’t like the way I look now.. sounds like his “dream girl” went out the window now he is trying to turn me into what he fetishes over.. or wants a gothic girl in a threesome says he wants both and what’s wrong with that. I mean it makes me feel like shit

[RoseySarah]

He is making you that way cause he is bored! Sorry this will end with you dumping him!

Be yourself cause he can't love you that way. He is manipulating you and a lot of women change then fall into the fetishes and 3 somes and porn crap just to eventually decide they hate how they are 3 years latter with tattoos and piercings that hurt to remove!

There is something else that makes you not want to be with him any more... A feeling what gives you that feeling?

Listen to it and end things!

[Lliam]

Goth? Did that guy recently suffer brain damage?
Would you want to be with someone who wants to resign from the real world and look that embarrassingly stupid?

I urge you not to dye your beautiful blond hair or permanently mutilate your body with tats and piercings.

Dump that man child. You should easily be able to get a sane, adult boyfriend who loves you for who you are. What kind of prospects does this current guy have for making a living and getting along with real people?

[Sareuh90]

Like for example we watched a movie last night and there was a gothic girl in it black hair white as ghost skin very fair beautiful like porcelain skin and how turned on he gets I can’t compete with it. It hurts my feelings deeper because I know it’s what he really wants I almost feel like unintentionally I’m holding him back from what he really actually wants, and when I explain that to him he says I’m judging him when I’m not but I can’t help how things make me feel

[Sareuh90]

As much as he can’t help being turned on by what he now likes I can’t help how it makes me feel. And when I see him turned on like that it makes me miss the feeling of turning someone on to that degree because I obviously do not do that for him anymore

[Lliam]

Relationships are for finding out if you are compatible. Sometimes it turns out that you are not. Sounds like it's time for you to move on from this one. I would if I were you.

[TomMarks]

If he is trying to change you into something you’re not, no matter what that is, that isn’t right. No one has a right to force you to change to suit them. If he has changed and can no longer accept you as you are, he isn’t the one for you.

[OlderAndWiser]

So how long before you dump his ass? Why haven't you done that already?

[abc3643]

Don't change for him.
Be you.
If he can't deal with that, then he needs to go.
That's how love works.

[SnowedIn]

Yep. If he's trying to change you, time for him to go.

[Sareuh90]

He’s telling me I’m wrong for slut shaming him over what he is really into

[SnowedIn]

You are so right and he is SOOOOOOOO wrong. He is allowed to be into whatever he wants (as long as it's legal). He's NOT allowed to make you change for him. And you shouldn't.

[Sareuh90]

I agree I know he is allowed to like whatever but if it’s not me and he’s super really into the gothic girls he should probably just find one to be with instead of just staying with me because we have kids or something I don't know

[TomMarks]

His rights to be him dose NOT override your rights to be you. Sounds like you should just move on. (I’m not trying to tell you what to do, just giving advice, sounds like you have to many expectations being forced on you as is.)

[jshm2]

He wants a big titty goth chick. Guys preferences do change over time. So it's likely he's going to ditch you.

[WhitneySnow]

Don’t let him change your style

[MementoMori777]

If you don't want too And he isn't respecting your decision then yea

[Sareuh90]

It’s cute I always say the gothic look can be very pretty but I don’t think I have the right look for it. And it would be me changing my appearance he claimed to love for years into imitating a whole different kind of look of girls he likes now the perfect gothic women who look kinky

[MementoMori777]

If anything do it when getting in bed with him, and go back to yourself after, you can fulfill his desire and not have to change your appearance normally, speak to him see if you can find a solution to this together

[Sareuh90]

I’ve tried that truthfully I’ve dressed up in bed .. he just loves the day to day look of very pale skin gothic makeup and black hair.. etc. I feel like I can’t win with him I dyed my blonde hair to brunette almost blsck over the winter and even dressed in leather skirts and such but its like he just has this burning desire to have a gothic girlfriend

[MementoMori777]

I really don't know what to tell you Sarah, he seems somewhat ungrateful for what you've already done for him, there's not much you can really do.

[Andres77]

Don’t change for anyone! You have to be true to yourself. This selfish manipulation is a huge red flag. He needs to back off or get dropped off.

[_piotr]

From time to time you could wear something he likes as a present for him.

[Staximus]

Tell him to love you as you are or fuck off into the sunset🌅🌅🌅

[Sareuh90]

So you don’t think I’m wrong for feeling slighted or offended. He’s making me feel bad saying I’m slut shaming him for expressing what he really is into

[Staximus]

You're not wrong at all. He needs to learn how to separate fantasy from reality. You're reality. You're the one there with him, not some gothic internet slut. This guy is a piece of shit if he thinks you should change yourself to suit his fetishes and fantasies. Tell him it sounds like he's not into you anymore and to fuck off, and he can go shack up with his goth dream girl.

[Sareuh90]

Like for example we watched a movie last night and there was a gothic girl in it black hair white as ghost skin very fair beautiful like porcelain skin and how turned on he gets I can’t compete with it. It hurts my feelings deeper because I know it’s what he really wants I almost feel like unintentionally I’m holding him back from what he really actually wants, and when I explain that to him he says I’m judging him when I’m not but I can’t help how things make me feel

[Sareuh90]

As much as he can’t help being turned on by what he now likes I can’t help how it makes me feel. And when I see him turned on like that it makes me miss the feeling of turning someone on to that degree because I obviously do not do that for him anymore

[Staximus]

First of all, you should not feel bad about anything. You did nothing wrong

[AydenHazor]

Stay true to yourself. It's not worth changing to try to please someone else, and trying to change someone else to match your desires is a jerk move

[Anonymous]

Yes, only cucks like goths.

[Sareuh90]

Lol really