Do you think kinks depend more on your gender or the gender you are attracted to?

[msmissydc]

Kink

"Unconventional sexual taste or behavior":

Merriam-Webster. (n. d.). Kink. In Merriam-Webster. com dictionary. Retrieved August 18, 2023, from https://www.merriam-webster.com/dictionary/kink

I know kinks are a personal thing and everyone is different, but some kinks are more common with one gender over others. Most people are hetero or at least bi so it could be, that your own gender statistically speaking influences your sexual orientation and your orientation actually influences your kinks. (statistically speaking not individually) Its hard to find data on it and I would rather hear it from people and their thoughts about it than just plainly read data. If you have the data I would gladly take it too but I dont need it.

Let me give you an example. Preface: As I said I haven't found or looked much for data so this example might not be true but more a feeling of mine that it is:

Feet (fetish) kink: I think much more men are into it than women. Is it because much more men like feet than women in a sexual context? Is it because much more people are into women feet than men feet, and its more common with men as also much more men are into women and less women are into women?

I am not specifically talking about the kink actually being common but the difference between gender feels much more extreme. Maybe its a bad example because it involves a specific body part but what about other kinks e. g. bdsm, oral, public, etc.

Do you think kinks that are more common with one gender, depend more on the gender of the person having the kink or the gender of the person they are sexually attracted to?

[dynamicyandere]

I believe that ultimately, it varies from individual to individual.


But, generally speaking, there are noticeable patterns and trends between genders.


Women, usually, prefer to take on a submissive role in the bedroom and get dominated by their partner.


(This is also highly prevalent in popular erotica.)


Men, reportedly, prefer to be dominant inside and outside the bedroom.


(But, that could also be due to socialization since men are pressured by society to believe that a dominant role is the only role that is proper for a man. And, you can see with the phenomenon of ‘simping’ that there are quite a large population of men who prefer taking on a submissive disposition.)


I believe that men AND women who truly feel fulfilled being the dominant ones are the minority in both camps.


This can even be seen in the gay male community—most men in the gay community prefer to bottom and tops are harder to come by.


So, in conclusion, with women there’s a lean towards submission. And with men, there’s a lean towards domination.

But, ultimately, it’s based on the individual. And for dominant men AND women, I believe that they are actually the minority for both genders.

(As many men want to identity as dominant due to social pressures or in hopes of getting laid.)

[dynamicyandere]

The BDSM world can get quite complex though. What I talked about above was only about dominance vs submission. If we go into kinks like bondage or impact-play, then the Top may prefer to do things with one gender and not the other. And for some kinks, like sissyfication, actually require the bottom to be a particular gender (in this case male) since it’s fetishizing the feminization of their male partner. Anyway, I can talk about this for hours so I’ll stop here, haha. Thanks for the interesting question. 🥂

[RobT312]

in my experience It depends directly on the person having the kink. For example, I had a phase of really liking bdsm, it was my kink. It wasn’t based on my girlfriend who I was attracted to, but based on me wanting to play out dom/sub roles, getting tied up, etc. I also later found out I was bisexual, and tried bdsm with men too and liked it just the same…so for me that kink is about my desire for that kind of sex act, not the partner I’m attracted to.

I think with a fetish may be more common to have very different results. For example I really havea thing for women in thongs. I really love seeing that as a way to get off. I myself don’t need to wear a thong, nor do I need to see men in thongs… it’s just a thing for me to see women in thongs. In this case it’s all about the person I’m attracted to.

[WhitneySnow]

I’m not sure (I never really thought about it much), but this is a really good question.

[Markm3212]

i believe that it has to do with the fact that men are more visual characters and can get excited at seeing a pic than women (in general). so therefore we see things and it excites us and we want to try and replicate that. whereas women are more sensitive and emotional. hence why women are no less into kinks than men but maybe more emotional kinks i. e. they are not shouting it and requesting actions or items of clothing, they are looking for support and dominance. thats why i believe that most subs are women and most doms are men (again generalizations) but seems to be the split.

[Dargil]

I think male kinks are more visceral. I think female kinks are more situational.

[Wonderingguyy]

For me, gender I’m attracted to

[stratford]

I think it depends on your early and then ongoing sexual experiences (whether you realised they were sexual or not).

[Grond21]

I think they are more dependent on who you are and your emotional background.

[loveslongnails]

I don't think it's specifically relevant to gender, though I believe there are some which are more common to one than the other.

[BobbieBoy666]

I'm attracted to both genders' boys and girl's women men. 💘💞👫

[andy530]

I think both

[Anonymous]

It depends on the gender of the person.

[Anonymous]

I think it depends on both your own gender and the gender you're attracted to. For example, I am into feet. My wife is open to having hers rubbed and kissed but has no interest in mine. I don't think there are many women into feet, but it's one of the most common kinks among men.

[Anonymous]

*Sex not gender.