Do you think the double standard of men being encouraged to sleep around, but women being shamed if they do, will ever change?

[Agem123]

[SexyAshh]

Girl, probably not. Im not one of those crazy feminists by any means, but this is a statement i get annoyed with.


Like why are we supposed to stay pure and good for them when there out here f*cking anything that moves. Like at least when we wanna be slutty we pick hot guys, they dont even care, as long as it has a hole.


Im not with it👏✌️

[SexyAshh]

Thanks for mho babe💋❤️

[Agem123]

You're welcome love❤

[TruthBringer]

Ofcourse it's not right for both parties to sleep around. As a person who has had casual sex, the thing that keeps me from staying pure is knowing that girls/women here in the west don't keep themselves pure. So I'm not gonna bother save myself for someone who has slept around herself. Virgins in our society are rare. Girls as young as 14-15 start having casual sex or with their so-called "boyfriend" who breaks up with them 2 weeks later. I used to think I will save myself until marriage. I gave up on that thought.

[pocketman]

3 problems with your statement: 1. no one tells girls to stay pure, I don't know where you got that. Guys might say they have a preference for sexually pure women, but they're not giving you orders to stay pure. 2. Guys don't "fuck anything that moves" its ridiculous that you even said that. 3. "they dont even care, as long as it has a hole" <- same thing as guys who say all women care about it the D... inaccurate generalization.

[SexyAshh]

@pocketman i didn't ask you what was “wrong” my statment. Move along. you're annoying me.

[Sawyerblu]

@pocketman 3 problems with your own statements: 1. If women put out to the same extent as men, they are slut shamed, called dirty names, and we’ve all heard guys say it: nobody wants a hoe. So therefore as a result, women are looked down upon who explore their sexuality at the same level as men who are not shamed but rather praised for their sexual accounts. Of course they’re not giving orders to stay pure verbally, but by calling us all the names in the book if we do choose to pursue our sexual nature, they are indirectly telling us that if we aren’t pure then we might as well be worthless. 2. The fact that you even believe this is mind boggling. Maybe you yourself have restraint, but for many many MANY men, they don’t care what a woman looks like if they’re just trying to get laid. 3. Like I said above, men will also agree that if she has a hole, then she is fuckable. In attempts to get sex, many men will go below their dating standards for it. Not all but most. You seem to be pretty pressed about all of this.. maybe you are feeling attacked? If you could not relate to any of this then you simply would not have commented lol but I’m sure you are aware that truth does resonate with the original comment.

[Brainsbeforebeauty]

Not in my lifetime and probably not in yours either...

[VIVANT]

Definitely. I don’t even see this being an issue in large areas. Most of my friends/ acquaintances, had many fwbs and no one cares. It was sex between people who knew each other but mutually were uninterested in relationship.

The ones who got bored of it and wanted a relationship had no trouble finding a boyfriend or girlfriend. The only place I see people making a big deal of it is on line. Or those who do not believe in casual sex period. I don’t know anyone who is FOR casual sex but anti women casual sex. It would be quite self Sabotaging lol

Perhaps the stigma lives on in the minds of older generations but people my age don’t seem to bother about it.

If anything it’s seen as SPECIAL To guys when A Woman he likes, wants him for more than sex. Rather than that she has never had sex. Which makes it seem like default appreciation. Of course I am not saying saving yourself is not special but not everyone sees that as proof of deep symbolism of Affection toward any individual. Being chosen for more than sex when it could just be for your body affects men the way I guess it used to affect Women. At least I see a lot of that.

I’m not one to sleep around bc it’s not for me, but I’ve never seen anyones life destroyed over it. Course I never went to high school so maybe that is why 😎

[RemoErdosain]

It will only stop if women stop going after the "experienced guys" and "the bad boys" and pick more similar to how men do, or if men stop going after decent women, and decide to go with the sluts that will cheat on them. It's not a double standard, really: It's just that men like women who aren't whores for partners, but women tend to prefer players. It's as simple as that

[bobalife]

Very slowly, but surely.

[John_Galt]

If women want men to stop sleeping around... they should punish them for doing it, instead of rewarding them!
“Women can’t control how men view promiscuous women but they CAN punish men for being promiscuous”.

I mean what do we really want here... Men to stop bad behavior or women to just copy it?

[lilyanony1]

No not really, I think some men with daughters see their strength harness it and allow it to grow, whilst there are some fathers that teach their daughters the importance of respecting and submitting to a man.
It's an ego thing. I genuinely think that the reason why society has taken so long to catch up is simply because of fear.

Will a woman want a man if she can be independent?

What standards will he have to uphold or take on if she can think for herself?

So I believe some people think it's necessary for a set of rules to remain in place as a way to keep people in line.

The problem with that is the standard gets completely obliterated because men aren't prepared to back down and women aren't prepared to either.
Then you get disrespect on both sides, you get people reproducing for genetic makeup, relationships longevity is very short while simply because the forces on both sides are too strong.

We are currently in a levelling out phase with this virus. One that consists of mini forces of change, but I'm not sure if it's for the benefit of the human race.

[brennanhuff]

The truth is that only men applaud other guy who sleep around, not women. A lot of women look down on man whores. And only guys that are like 18-22 care about a dude sleeping around or congratulate him. Once a dude gets older, he doesn't really care if a dude has slept around or not and doesn't care either way much. So there's a maturity aspect to it also. Man whores can be looked upon as sleazy too though or bad by women.

[bluetoblack99]

Yes and no. I’m older too and get the sleaze aspect of it. Maybe women our age feel more strongly about this although but I’ve met some pretty f*cking stupid women in their 30s. Here is a recent example by a Down syndrome 31 year old female Why Women Love Bad Boys ↗

With said women want a guy who is IN DEMAND by other women. She wants to be his main focus but she always see’s his draw as a sign he’s a high value mate. He knows what women want. If he has a bunch of notched on his bed post he’s got one area mastered. Most women won’t drop it for anybody.

[brennanhuff]

@bluetoblack99 No, a guy like that can make many women either jealous or feel they might not be able to trust a guy and not making a secure relationship. Women of value like guys who are secure in themselves and mature where the guys don't care if they've slept with a lot of women or not. What makes a man a high value mate is many traits that make him a great partner to her. Charm, the physical aspect, intelligence, ambition, etc that have nothing to do with how many women he's slept with. There are dudes who maybe got into pick up artist stuff and managed to know how to get women to have casual sex with them, but the dudes bring nothing else to the table other than "fixed game" that's made him have many women want him. But then when it comes to more than that, he doesn't offer much, which is why some guys who can get a lot of sex, don't do to well in keeping girlfriends.

[brennanhuff]

@bluetoblack99 They are high value in a superficial way, but low value in a deeper way. Most women won't drop it for anybody, but it doesn't really take a special guy to have sex with a lot of women if her puts in the effort and rejection doesn't bother him. It's a numbers game often and some men having sex with a lot of women have approached many women and have been rejected a lot. But they have the confidence to not be bothered by it and just have a big social circle too. They put the effort into it. I'm telling you, talking to women, they don't think highly of man whores. A man can be desirable without actually having sex with many women. I think the sexy man is the guy who women know could have any woman he wants, but is monogamous. Look at Tim Tebow. A good looking, well built guy, with personality and character. Because of his religous beliefs he held out from sex until the woman he married. You know and I know, he had so many women clamoring to have sex with him, but he didn't man whore it up. That's hell of a will power, but because he had strong convictions of what he wanted. I'm not saying it makes a man honorable to hold out on sex. I'm just saying, immature people care more about a man's high number. Women, especially women older than 22, don't see a man sleeping around as sexy and often unattractive.

[bluetoblack99]

I respect Tim Tebow

[brennanhuff]

@bluetoblack99 me too and he's obviously not a man whore. Just saying, women aren't as impressed about a guy with tons of women as some think. Plus a dude can be with many women but suck in bed. They might want experience, but a man to have the sex experience as in wanting to know what a woman likes. A dude could be good looking and charming so he's getting laid, but saw ego maniac so very self centered and maybe does what he sees in porn or doesn't care or know what a woman likes. None of the women he's slept with felt he was good in bed. It didn't matter to him, because it was just a one time thing. But then when he has a girlfriend, he sucks in bed with her, because all of his experience was selfish and just not really knowing a woman's body. Whereas you can have a dude with only 3 women, but long relationships and learned and was more in tune to pleasing a woman or getting that stroke good. So when with a woman he maybe ends up with, he has a lot of the good sexual experience. But anyway Tim Tebow does seem like a good dude. He held this prom event and goes to these things, for autistic highschooler so they can have a great experience. He's just a humble, nice dude.

[bluetoblack99]

I guess I’m a bit jaded dealing with so many POS women in my life. Got burned for being a genuine nice guy more than once. Lost my virginity young just to “prove” something. I’ve only met one decent woman in my entire life. But cruel irony is she met when I was going through a rough patch and I needed to be single to figure things out. I drove her into breaking up with me. But as for the sex part she was so in love with me she often orgasmed before I did. Women are much more mental on that. If they have strong feelings for the guy they will orgasm much easier because it’s more preemptive for them. Can be for us too but more so for them. Anyway I get what you are saying. With the right woman I would take a knee. But when you haven’t met anyone decent in 6 years you get a depressed and start “taking what you can get”. Yeah call that a cop out. Call me a sleazebag. Hell call dm a “creep”. But options are quite limited for multiple reasons. Just don’t care anymore.

[brennanhuff]

@bluetoblack99 I feel bad, but I've heard men say that. You can't give up man, it's cliche, but sometimes you meet the person of your dreams when you least expect it. It's weird though cuz dudes I know who were with a lot of women seemed to have bad luck with women in relationships too. The women often went crazy or were crazy. And then like I wasn't a man whore like them. I could have been, but that was halted until I got out of my own mind. I can be anxious because I can over think the shit out of things. That's great like if you're doing many things that require being innovative, clever or improv. Not so great when trying to talk to women, because you don't take the shots you should. These guys were natural extroverts so it was easy for them to talk to everybody, whereas I have a lot of introvert qualities, yet ironically quite out going. People who don't know me well would be surprised that I had social anxiety in certain situations. And that's because when I'm around people I know, I've very outgoing, witty, charming, funny. Like I don't try getting people's attention, but just have that ability and yes with girls too.

[brennanhuff]

@bluetoblack99 I don't even have to know people, but just like in this mutual setting whether work, class, sports and people can be new or I don't know, and a new girl and just talk her up. But like bars were tough for me, because I'm not a joke teller or it's hard for me to fake stuff. So I have to like vibe with someone first and then comes on the wit, charm in a natural way that just comes from the convo. But I would feel I'd have to be charming right on the spot. But it wasn't just that, I just care too much about outcomes of things in general, not dating. So as time went on, it was good that I just stopped caring how people react to me or results I expected. Once I had a "I don't a fuck" attitude, in a good way, not a bad way. Then getting girls was not a problem. I also had the qualities already, wit, charm, humor and apparently handsome too. I've had women check me out or wide eyes, smirks, flirt, some really cute not charging me for a large cappucino at a cafe, etc. I didn't have problem with like work getting a girl for a date because like I said I was comfortable because of the mutual setting. But my over analytic mind got in the way of my own qualities I had that I'd otherwise do very well. Sometimes, the ironic thing is the success people don't have is often not want they don't have in ability, but what they do where they beat themselves or become their own worst enemy. I kept blocking my own potential because of anxiety. It wasn't because I didn't feel highly about myself, I just needed to just turn my damn mind off sometimes ha. Once I learned to do that, I did so much better.

[bluetoblack99]

You and I are very similar. Similar viewpoints and personalities. The thing was I was told by multiple women all through my 20s and early 30s I was very attractive. Nerdy a bit but very cute. I was dating a 21 yr old fitness model when I was 34. I didn’t think it would last long but we ended up dating 9 months. Then she ghosted me with no warning after a minor argument. Mentally I knew a part of her was capable of that bs. I didn’t want it to happen of course but it did. She’s not “the one who got away”. Anyway the last 3 years of my dating life have been short of pure hell. I did date a 26 year old for 8 months. She had a very good heart and her I had good chemistry. But she have from a horrifyingly abusive (including sexually abusive) family. I was understanding. She can’t choose her parents and siblings. But if messed her up it was messing up what we had. I very tactfully broke up with her (face to face over 2 hours). She threatened to kill herself and it got so bad her grandmother had to call the police to have her detained for psych evaluation. Anyway I need to get out of my environment (lockdown made this all worse). Got plans to move to different country in January for a few months. Also I got to accept I’ve gotten older. Not the baby faced college kid I was once (although I still got 6 pack abs lol). But the state I live is notoriously bad for bachelors. I didn’t know how bad it was until I traveled. The ratio of men to women is horrible and it’s also very liberal. Lots of feminist bullshit.

[brennanhuff]

@bluetoblack99 It's funny and I guess I'm lucky but I still look younger than I am. People think I'm 28, when I'm not. People are surprised I'm over 30. But word thing is I've gotten more attention from girls in early and mid 20s than when I was in my 20s. Some might be how girls may like older guys if he looks good and I think I'm much more confident than I was than in my 20s so I must be giving more of a confident vibe to girls. Yeah I take it as a compliment of being attractive or having a general attractiveness when I get women attractive women checking me out, flirting who are in my age range but also younger like I said. But also older women in 40s and 50s, some that were actually attractive, some not as much. Also I've had different women of ethnicities and race that are cute who have done so too. I've dated mostly white women as a white guy myseld. Though I had a cute biracial girlfriend. But black women, Asian women, indian, and had some sexy latinas at my work who didn't flirt with other guys there, but liked being touchy and close with me. But there were too many red flags so I didn't date the girl.

[brennanhuff]

@bluetoblack99 The one problem is that I never should have let dating apps bother me. I live in a small city and that's just very hard because you have to stretch your radius out far and not a ton of pickings unless doing so. I had matches, and some convo would go well, but none ever would try to meet up. But it initially bothered me, but then I shrugged it off. I couldnt understand why the difference, but I knew my lack of success with it, didn't mean I'm not handsome, but dating apps can be fickle. but my irl experience is the real proof that I'm a fairly good looking guy, I tell you the things women can get away with though. I was working in produce one time and a lady in her 50s was really flirty. She was laughing and smiling with me and getting real close. This is not during covid, this was a year ago. But like 3 different times, grabbed my right bicep or tricep during her convo with me ha. She wasn't someone I was interested in, but it was something else I'd say.

[HowAwkwardToBeAlive]

I think so. Woman need to continue to take back their power and own their sexuality then soon things will be different. When women wear what they want, dance how they want, and show that they can do these things alone and with their friends WITHOUT INCLUDING MEN then men will start to realize that they don’t have a say in our sensuality.

But if it never changes then I think that it’s fine because we will care less and less over time, we’ll keep showing up and showing out.

[ohshee]

I guess I don't get out enough I didn't know it was like that. I know for me no guy knows what im doing or goingbto do and so I hope the encouragement comes from the girl i want to make love to because i know I'm going to be encouraging her well so maybe i do know about double standards um i dont know as a matter of fact I'm looking for some encouragement right now lol

[ObscuredBeyond]

The Puritans got one thing right: it should be equally shameful for the man. But when we abandoned that standard to embrace the standards of the Greeks and Romans, we inherited Caesar's folly. It was one of the single greatest bad carry-overs from the Pilgrim to the Neoclassical eras.

The modern era's often very erroneous answer? Celebrate the woman who whores around! Except... that's insanity. It only breeds social chaos; and that's why Caesar was against it. So why did he not condemn it of the men as well? Because too many of his closest advisors were guilty; and he feared they'd turn on him.

[bluetoblack99]

Christianity in general condemns men who act this way.

[Kaazsz]

As far as I’ve read, investigating into anthropology. It seems that a man’s reproductive success is correlated with status.


But the more equal the society, the more equal is male reproductive success.


So I guess one day when we have achieved equality is when the stereotype will stop. Until then, we continue to believe the best guy gets all the girls, and girls are all sluts for the best guy.


Basically, the stereotype exists because of the inequality of male reproductive success and it won’t go away until male Reproductive sex is equal.

[Kaazsz]

I suppose anyways lol.

[Berethor]

If it was to be changed then why to the slutty side? anyway it based on biology so no.

https://tvtropes.org/pmwiki/pmwiki.php/Main/MyGirlIsNotASlut

[ZackBan]

Often feels like it has.
Most women I know have active sex lives with no constant boyfriend. They just hookup with someone if they like his build but don't want anything from that person
They rarely if ever get slutshamed for it.

[scarlett774]

Nopeeee never, in highschool the double standard was incredibly real and so very sexist, girls would get shamed to no end for having sex with one guy and then guys would get high fives for sleeping with the whole cheer team 🙄 the double standard will never end.

[Jac2424]

I feel like it has changed quite a bit. Depends on the culture/society you live in I guess...

[Guffrus]

It changed ages ago.

[EmmaMary]

Sadly I can't ever see this changing, at least not in my lifetime.

[rxm_bxl]

Yes, in fact we are already the transitional youth (generation). And I think the next generation will also be transitional. From then on, I think it will be equal.
A whore will be defined as anyone who promiscuously sleeps around.

[Jjpayne]

It's interesting because I think girls are encouraged to be sexual.

I think the standard is flawed. Guys are supposed to wait for the right woman to give themselves to and that standard was lost...
I get it, it was the 1950s and it was still boys making out with girls...

But I feel like it started that way and the girls part of saving herself for the right guy just continued while the men's part was forgotten.

But I will say that women are given a greater responsibility over their own body.

It's two making the active choice and the girl makes that choice with the guy.

Except the guy goes free and she is stuck with the baby.

This is why, it is such a good idea to be serious and introduce a guy to friends and family to hold him accountable...

But you are right it's an interesting double standard that somehow still exists 🤔

[Jjpayne]

And women using their bodies for Attraction does not help much either. That only adds to this idea of shaming... It's a natural thing to do of course because it's how we interact with each other... Guys should have to dress up sexy too 😂

[LeeannaDD]

I feel like it has been for the last 5-10 years. Women are more empowered than ever for better or worse

[slatyb]

That’s a small town thing. In large cities no one knows or cares about anyone’s sex life, at least not after high school.

[VIVANT]

Yeah I’m wondering how does anyone know? How does this become such a big deal. Lol does the old guy go out for tea with the new bc and tell the new boyfriend all about their sex life? 😂