Ok, so that's a correlational study based on surveys - the worst kind of studies to actually draw a conclusion from. It has low scientific credibility. Also, in the graph above, they aren't saying anything about the source of unhappiness. What if X and Y are married; X had +21 sexual partners, but X is unhappy because Y, who only had 10 sexual partners before, cheats on them? There are super many variables.
The premise could be true, but I think it's something individual, rather than common for a certain group of people.
Love the rigor of your questions, what’s your professional background. Tbh, I didn’t dig into it too much, but your points seem valid. From an anecdotal point of view what do you think?
I have a background in both statistics & social sciences. I looked up the study for you, and it's very inconclusive, sincerely. They measured ”happiness” with a scale consisting of three options (most likely ”Are you happy in your marriage” - YES/NEUTRAL/NO). This has no depth. Secondly, the number of sexual partners was measured by whatever each of the participants said (relying on memory for a study is faulty - some may have bragged having more partners/others might have forgotten some of their exes/some maybe hid the actual number). Anyway, the study says a vast majority of the people - 64% - were happy in their marriage. Also, 66% of these people attend religious services frequently. Out of all the participants, only 5% had more than 21 sexual partners before marriage AND declared themselves unhappy. Think of it this way - nowadays, in westernized society, around 50% of marriages end up in divorce. The other 50% of couples rarely stay together because they love each other. They usually stay together because of debts, children, religious factors, social pressure etc. The sources of unhappiness are so many, it's hard to blame only one. As I was saying, even if X had more sexual partners, he might be unhappy because of something else. A lot of individual factors come into play. You could say that promiscuous people become unhappy in a marriage because (even if it's something they wanted at one point) it feels limiting to them. Or they are also prone to a more unstable lifestyle overall, contributing to their unhappiness. But it has more to do with how one develops and his/her maturity level, than the number of former sexual partners.
Thanks for the comprehensive reply. I do agree with you on the maturity part, regardless of how many partners you’ve had you’ll value more a long term relationship and what it brings than a mere sexual one. And by the way, I’m not minimizing the weight sex may have in a relationship, but happiness is much more profound than sex.
Gosh that's actually interesting. On one hand if you have very few or no partners before a marriage I get that you'd wouldn't have much else to compare your partner in marriage to. I would think that as years go on if there are feelings of being unsatisfied that they may feel resigned to it or by that time feel trapped due to other factors such as finances or children.
If you have multiple partners I could see it being much easier to find an out earlier in a relationship because you know better exists out there and you are more confident you can obtain it based on past experience.
Ultimately, I think in the end it is just who you decide to marry and your ability to compromise that determines if the marriage has a shot at lasting.
Great question though!
Maybe they just don’t settle very easily if they keep going through so many people so that could be why
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What's Your Opinion? Sign Up Now!Only if you marry a guy who’s absolutely crap in bed! If he makes your toes curl every night, all that experience of underwhelming sex can serve as a reminder that him leaving his underwear on the floor, and never doing dishes… not that big a deal, at LEAST he’s not an “Egg Timer”!
My wife had 30 (yes thirty) partners before we got married. I was glad that she had that much experience, ( more that twice as many as myself) Our marriage did not last, but not due to her sexual past.
Affects marriage happiness? No. But it does effect if theyre marriage material. I dont want someone whos given away so much respect for themselves and nearly every special sexual skill in their bone... its like whats left for me to marry 🤷♀️
Hm. I’m not sure I buy this. I think the connection between the two people matters way more than their past.
Interesting, if you don’t mind me asking, how many people did you sleep with before getting married?
One. He’s now my husband.
You seem happy based on your answer to other questions, yes?
Yes I definitely believe this. People who have a lot of sex partners are always looking for the new best thing so I imagine being locked down to one person wouldn't work out well for them if they are constantly wanting someone new. For the low sex count people they probably just don't care enough to look for anything else outside of marriage cause what they have is good enough.
I think you raise a good point there’s self selection in that people that have more sexual partners may have more inclined to keep looking for more. Whereas people who didn’t may not be as interested to begin with and probably don’t put so much weight in sex as a source of happiness, not saying they don’t enjoy it or want it, but it’s not a big source of happiness.
Yeah someone with a lot of sexual partners once explained this to me and it made a lot of sense. It's kind of like those people that always need the newest phone/technology. They dont give a shit if it's the exact same as the last model they just want it cause it's new. Other people are just happy that they have a working phone and no need to upgrade to something newer when the older one still works.
Lol so women are supposed to be virgins when males can become sluts
Is that what you got from the question? That’s def not the premise. 🤔
From the photo though
Not really, that’s not what the graph tells you it’s actually not implying anything, it’s just data.
Yeah
Yep... m
Only if it's discussed
Yep
And the chance to find a long term partner (if you're looking for one ofc)
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