Does a blowjob feel weird or bad if you aren’t hard and can’t get hard?

I like giving him blow jobs 🤷🏻‍♀️ pretty sure he got his last one tonight. Every fucking time I try to give him one he stops me seems like. We were gonna have sex and he couldn’t get hard. He had done oral on me already and some fingering so I thought I would return the favor then he stops me saying it’s not gonna work. I wasn’t meaning for it to lead to sex. I obviously knew he wasn’t going to get hard. I’ve asked before if it hurts or doesn’t feel good and he said no. Why can’t he sit there and enjoy it even not hard? It’s still sensitive right? Playing with the balls should feel good right? I said welp won’t happen again and went to take a bath. Fuck him!
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Most Helpful Guys

  • Perhaps you're being a bit insensitive?

    For most guys it can feel like a big deal to them when they have trouble getting hard. Some guys feel their entire masculinity or even whole worth as a human being is threatened. Yeah, I know: dumb, but true.

    Some of us are just that way.

    What a mean needs when he is having trouble getting and/or keeping it up is understanding, support, and a trip to the urologist to get checked out and maybe get a bottle of boner pills.

    I think you should have an honest talk about what happened.

    It concerns me a bit that you guys couldn't communicate your expectatations about whether intercourse was to follow. This may have felt like pressure to him, I don't know.

    If you like giving head, why deprive yourself of something u enjoy?

    Last but not least: If you keep having these kinds of conflicts, maybe couple's counseling is in order.

    Good luck!

    • He has blue pills. He hasn’t taken them yet. He had high cholesterol and has been way better since meds. Just an issue tonight. He knows it’s not a big deal to me. I just wanted to give a damn blowjob

    • There's always tomorrow, then. Just make it clear what you want.

  • I understand your reaction, but... I think you are taking this as too much personal rejection. If he isn't "there", it may be awkward feeling. There's time I wasn't in the mood and can be uncomfortable, when I am it's good. Got to respond to his needs, not yours.

    Have to ask seriously where his head is at though as this seems frequent, or what is up. Emotionally, he's just not there very often. none of us know, but this stuff isn't going away and you don't want to feel rejected.

    If you offer tea to someone and they don't want it, then that is ok. Can't get upset they don't accept your prized tea... get my drift... As long as he feels loved, and complete, then it's fine. Otherwise, he states his need and gets slammed for it. That's bad which just makes worse next time.

Most Helpful Girls

  • It's hard to give if the guy doesn't respond by getting hard. Sucking a soft cock is just no fun at all!

  • He is not getting hard because he is not attractive to you.

    • Does penis size matter if you love a guy

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What Girls & Guys Said

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  • I mean in general i'd get hard pretty quick when that happens

    Like I said in the past, I do think there might be something going on with him, since I can barely get my pants down before i'm rock hard

    Its a thing that differs per person

    But to answer the mainline question, it doesn't feel bad, at least not in my experiences

  • I clearly have the opposite problem, the slightest hint of 😘 and my little guy practically bursts my trousers... sorry, this probably isn't much help... I'll be honest, your question confuses the hell outta me... any red-blooded (adult) male not turned on by any sexual act, has issues...

  • He might not get hard because he doesn't like what you're doing

    • That is a real possibility. He may not want to criticize ur technique, even if he finds it lacking or possibly even unpleasant.

    • @Keith469 exactly. If he liked it his dick would get hard

    • Possibly and it's worth asking if there is anything you can do to make it more pleasurable. Let him guide you.

    • Show All
  • Never seen a guy.. who dont like a blowjob

  • Guys in porn use “fluffers” all the time. Those girls aren’t unscreened but are outside film area keeping guys hard in between takes. They’d probably know the best.

  • It feels better if the dick is hard, but a bj can still feel good with a dick that is not all that hard. I can't speak to the "can't get hard" part, as I always get hard when she takes me in her mouth. But's I'm not always hard when she starts, and it feels good then.

  • It sounds like your SO just doesn't have the sex drive you're expecting. I've noticed I've been pretty jaded about sex for a while, because 9/10 times I don't get to finish.
    I have a general dislike for blowjobs too because nearly everyone that says they're amazing at them scrapes like a motherfucker.
    If your SO has an unhealthy diet, works long hours and doesn't get enough sleep, or is depressed these things generally lead to a low sex drive as well.

    If you're bad at giving blowjobs you SO isn't going to tell you that. I've sat through some pretty tough ones before because I didn't want to offend those partners.

    You could also try changing things up. I find that just having my neck kissed and seeing my partner touch themselves will get me in the mood faster than ant blowjob could.

  • Honestly sounds like sexual/performance anxiety, or he's just not attracted to you.

    Or in general he just doesn't like oral. I personally don't like it and will lose my erection after a couple minutes from one.

    Maybe he doesn't like what YOU do either.

  • The times a girl has put my penis in her mouth when it was soft it felt good instantly, even before it got hard. I'm really sorry for your frustration with these sexual issues. I understand why you're frustrated.

  • Many times I can't get hard but it feels good to be in someone's mouth regardless.

  • He might be addicted to porn

  • At this point I’m just thinking this dude’s sex drive is basically nonexistent

  • i wouldn't say something is physically wrong. there's some mental block.

  • Is he even interested/likes bjs?

  • Well I’m the opposite. I totally love getting a blowjob when I’m not hard.
    When my dick is soft blowjobs feel so much better to me.

  • When it's not hard when you suck it sometimes is extremely ticklish

  • They feel amazing there is a problem with him I would never stop in the middle

  • Lucky fucking bastard!!! If it was me I would let you suck on my big guy all day even if i was completely emptied out! What you need is a nice really thick huge cock pounding you for hours and hours! (;

  • 😕. Oh boy.

    • I don’t have man parts. Does it feel weird or what?

    • Unless I just came, it’s not sensitive. I enjoy it. Just the pleasant feeling. Perhaps he’s embarrassed he won’t get hard. I can’t get in his head, but I’d say it is more about being confident about his manhood.

    • Psychological issues are complicated

    • Show All
  • Interesting. It hurt you that bad to not be the center of his attraction. He serviced you. And he let you off the hook. That should he a field day for most women.

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