Guys, Does a guy looking for a long term relationship mind that he has to wait a while until he gets sex? And how do I go about this?

Inspired by someone asking how long a woman should wait until she has sex with someone she likes.

(( Before you read further. I'm looking for respectful men, who are in a relationship or who are looking to be in one. Not angry bitter men. I'm looking for pointers from your perspective, not a fight. Disagreeing can still be kept civil. Moving on... ))

I didn't like the question, because it's a bit contradicting behavior. Say, I'm horny, I can easily find a volunteer for that, and we'll make that happen on the same day.

But for a long term relationship. I wait, because I want to know if he is there for long term and not a one night stand. Do you think I am wrong for going about it like this?

The stereotype that men only think about sex is there. If that's true, doesn't it feel unfair for you gents that the fucktoy gets it sooner than you? Or do you not care because it's not your first priority either?

I'm in a relationship, but I knew that man for few years before we actually started dating. Sex became pretty quick when the dating started. But I already had a feel of who he is as a person, which made it easy.

But what if it's a man you don't know?

I mind, because...
Vote A
I don't mind, because...
Vote B
Select gender and age to cast your vote:
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Updates:
1 y
I'd like to thank everyone who took the time to share their thoughts on this topic today. I asked for respectful men to answer, and that's exactly what I got. I was a bit hesitant because there is a lot of gender wars going on here. It gladdens me to know that the majority of men looking for a long term relationship don't mind waiting, so I will stick what I have been doing, getting to know them first before actually letting things go further as far as sex goes, should I ever have to date again.
1 y
Moving on! <3
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Superb Opinion

  • Quote 1: "I didn't like the question, because it's a bit contradicting behavior. Say, I'm horny, I can easily find a volunteer for that, and we'll make that happen on the same day."

    Ok so first let me get this out if the way, thats not something I'll ever do. Casual sex would lead to stds, child support payments, and an ex I can't ever get rid of.

    Quote 2: "But for a long term relationship. I wait, because I want to know if he is there for long term and not a one night stand. Do you think I am wrong for going about it like this?"

    Yep I think it's wrong, not because you make the guy wait, but because of the casual sex with the other guy.

    Quote 3: "The stereotype that men only think about sex is there. If that's true, doesn't it feel unfair for you gents that the fucktoy gets it sooner than you? Or do you not care because it's not your first priority either?"

    Don't buy into stereotypes, if that were true I'd not still be a virgin. As for it being "unfair", yes because inherently it's unfair, but also no, because knowing a woman has had casual sex with anyone in the past, would result in me not wanting her at all, so I'd no longer be part of that equation, it would just be her and her flings. I would personally want to wait for sex until at least engaged, so I have no issues waiting, but thats only going to occur with a woman who's still a virgin, as I'm not interested otherwise.

Most Helpful Guy

  • Guys have priorities too, where relationship is concerned.

    Without a doubt, there's a group of guys who simply want fuck. And these likely won't wait, unless the girl is special.

    And there's a lot of guys, religious type, traditional type, family type, want to settle down type, sincerely looking for a girl for longterm relationship and marriage.

    These will wait, especially when they have a special connection with her.

    Yes, many times, us guys are guilty of thinking only with our heads below. But by and large, we use our heads above. And we achieve great things doing so, including great relationship.

    Yes, I cases like this, we wait.

    • Funny how I asked for the opinion from respectful men and you're literally called RespectfulGuy, that's just great! Thanks for clearing things up. I think I have all the answers I need. The confirmation I needed. Thanks for contributing!

    • Hahahaha! Welcome.

    • Update: I literally waited until marriage to have sex with my then-date. And yes, both were still virgins on our wedding day 😁

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What Guys Said

(17)
  • Wait. . . how long? Waiting until the third or fourth date is quite different from waiting 5-6 months, and that is quite different from waiting until you're married.

  • No, not at all, and if she decides to keep me permanently celibate, that's even better.

  • waiting would be worth it if the rules were consistent or at least stacked a bit in favor of the particular man

    the worst insult a woman can do to a man is make him jump through hoops for a goal that other men didn't have to do in order to get the same goal

    the best compliment a woman can give a man is remove all potential obstacles and give him what other guys can not get without jumping through hoops

    when a fuckboy or multiple fuckboys get to hookup with a girl easily but the future husband has to take the girl out on multiple expensive dates and put a ring on her finger it shows that the girl doesn't value the future husband as much as the fuckboys

  • A while? What sort of a while? A few weeks? Ok. A few months? No. I would conclude that she's not very sexual.

  • For a lovely relationship, sex is a plus not a priority... not my words (Read it somewhere).
    Now , there are men who don't think so and sex is their top priority... and I think they might go well with women who think the same!

    • I can see why you liked that quote. But for those other men, they might go well with a person who is also interested in early sex, but wouldn't you agree that it's also a coinflip when it comes to the future? Would you say it's riskier to find the RIGHT PARTNER this way?

    • Well.. I feel I am not experienced enough to give pretty good insight ( Married for less than a year ) But you're right.. it a coinflip... some one needs to make a sacrifice/step down A good relationship would also involve making sacrifices for each other ain't it... I personally never start sex unless she wants it... I start with kind of cuddling and foreplay and it's up to her whether it should proceed further ( I just observe the signs and body language instead of asking directly which is awkward ) and we are fortunately going just as we dreamt!

    • Understandable. Thanks for your help on this :)

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  • I would not mind waiting but if I knew you would have sex with another guy on the same day I would terminate.

    • That's understandable and totally fair :) thanks for sharing

  • I made HER wait 3 months before I'd have sex with her! It worked really well. :)

  • I don’t mind because I value Sex as part of a long term relationship and want her to also enjoy it when she’s ready

  • Most men do not consider a woman who fucks like she shakes hands relationship material. It may be fun in the heat of the moment, but having sex with somebody you don't even know yet can have consequences you don't want to deal with.

    • I can get behind that! So you wouldn't mind waiting then?

    • If she's worth the wait then I'll wait

  • Wait until it feels rights, if he likes you and is open to talk about it until you feel comfortable, then you know he likes you and is invested in you.

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