Does a woman having sex with you on the first date influence how serious you’ll take her?

[strawberrybaby3]

I see so many men discussing this.

Personally, I think a man knows his intentions with you the very second he begins speaking to you - most of the time.

Whether you wait for the 3rd date or the 8th date, if a man is using you for sex, that's exactly what he's going to do, no matter how long you wait to avoid looking "trampy".

So, what do you think?
If you go out with a girl and have sex with her after the first date, would it turn you off from taking her seriously?

[dynamicyandere]

That’s true.


If a man is just looking for casual sex, and his mind is set on that, that is likely what he’s going to pursue.


It’s as if he’s in ‘casual sex mode’ and he’s not looking for anything serious, it’s something that he has already set his mind to earlier.


He’s going through a male ‘ho-phase’ and will not take any girl seriously until he’s intentionally decides to look for a serious relationship.


I don’t really hear about guys just sort of going out and seeing what happens, and equally okay with hooking up or finding a girlfriend.


They’re often either in hookup-mode or looking-for-a-girlfriend-mode.


Or should I say, not-ready-to-settle-down vs ready-to-settle-down.


Now, as for sex on the first date, I’d be suspicious of how easily she is seduced and how loyal she would be if I KNOW she doesn’t know me well, and is already putting out.


(Now an exception might be if our chemistry was absolutely out of this world and we 100% felt like soulmates.)


Anything less than mind-blowing compatibility would raise suspicion.


Men want women who are loyal, so if she’s extremely easily seduced, it makes the entire relationship unstable and fickle.


Men don’t want to commit to something fickle. They don’t want to commit to something that could be here one day and gone the next.

[smilelots]

Hell no the way I see it if you happen to be into each other the first time you meet depending on the person and we are talking men if they are respectful, honest, sincere having sex on the first date doesn’t change anything for me other than she’s that into me as well I will still cherish love communicate, appreciate, fantasize Waiting till the next time I get to be with her and possibly in a long-term relationship, but that takes two the sex on the first date was just a bonus and the sugar of what’s to come

[Ozanne]

In my experience, here's the problem:

1. Give it up on the first date, even if you say you never really do it this quick, and the guy will judge, thinking you do. He then thinks you're too easy. Meanwhile, your animal instincts just couldn't help yourself with this particular guy, and you regret moving too quickly.

2. Don't give it up on the first date, and he finds you kind of prudish. If you're waiting, you're taking things seriously, and he might not be into serious at the moment. He might then think you're too good for him, he gets scared, and backs off.

Now before people say "no, not all, not all"--I know not all. But this is generally the predicament women are up against when they really, really want sex, and really, really like the guy at the same time. They want to show that they are worth more than a pizza, but their bodies are wanting more.

Men are so quick to label us ladies as being trash if we have sex right away, but forget that there's a man too, also on his first date!

Maybe the best course of action is to say something like "god, there's nothing I want more than to have sex with you tonight, but I think we should just see each other again and see how it goes".

[smilelots]

That may be true for some people, men or women, but not for all, I believe it depends on the type of person you are to begin with, not whether you had sex or not, but just your way of thinking on how you think about the opposite sex and about yourself

[smilelots]

When I was 17 going on 18 I turn down my girlfriend twice I was just not ready. Once was in the car once was in her basement at her mom’s house we didn’t have any protection, and I always had this thought in the back of my head, mom said be careful or you’ll be in big trouble

[Ozanne]

@smilelots Okay, but I clearly said "not all" in the third paragraph.

[strawberrybaby3]

I completely agree with this @Ozanne. That’s why I said, waiting doesn’t necessarily do anything, because you can “respect yourself” and wait a few dates to do it, and the guy still ends up leaving you after getting what he wants. If two people are meant to be together, no matter what happens the first date, things will work out.

[smilelots]

Yes, I seen that. I was just putting in my two cents. I think the better we understand ourselves and what we need and want as a human being then it’s easier for us to try and understand what we do and what we would like others to do for us or with us. In the end, we get to make those choices all by ourselves, and we shouldn’t be judged by others, no matter the outcome

[Ozanne]

I remember once I went out with a man on our first (and only) date and really did want to sleep with him afterward. We had such an amazing date, even though all we did was sit there and talk in some restaurant. We flirted just enough. And we talked about ourselves just enough. Each of us asking the other questions, and enjoying our answers. I remember he was so handsome to me. A bit short, but rugged and manly with a nice face. He was also good-humoured. Just enough to tickle my amusement, without acting like he had to be funny all night long. Totally my thing. Note: we weren't drinking, so there was no alcohol to influence our words. When we got to our vehicles to part ways, he held out his hand to shake mind. I took it, but instead of shaking his hand, I pulled him to me. I gave him a quick kiss. I felt his lips also kiss back. It was quick enough to be intentionally giving the message "not yet", but sensual enough to let him know "soon". He said, "I'd love to see you again. Maybe then... we can fool around?" I said, "We can arrange that." I gave a smile and went home so happy. I thought for sure I made the right choice to play it cool. I texted him when I got home, thanking him for the night. Nothing. I called him the next day, no answer. I texted again the next day. Nothing. Nothing, nothing, nothing. After several days of this, I realized I was chasing and to knock it off. He never once responded to my texts or calls. I was disappointed since it was HIM that brought up fooling around on our next date, not me. A month later found him on the dating site we initially connected on, still seeking someone. Obviously he was just trying to be nice in letting me down easy, or else he was testing me to see what I'd say about fooling around after a second date and was disappointed in my answer. I'll never know I guess.

[strawberrybaby3]

Sounds like someone who wouldn’t have been worth your time anyway. Many guys act like they are interested and then don’t answer to any texts afterwards and don’t have the decency to just simply say they were not interested.

[OlderAndWiser]

Hello, old friend! Glad to see you here!

[Ozanne]

@OlderAndWiser Hello to you too, dear O&W! xo

[Vendela_]

Oh absolutely. Now that's not to say I think anyone is a bad person for having sex on the first date, but unless I've specified that I want a friends with benefits sort of situation, I'm not interested in sex on the first date and I wouldn't want to continue with this person if they did. I need tension, lot's of it, before I can just have sex.

[chrissykerdock]

if a guy flat out asks you for a blowjob and you give it to him why should i be penalized for helping him out... plus i don't feel it's a big deal to give a blowjob anyway and if i'm in a minidress i feel responsible for his attraction to me.

[EricSummer]

On the first date it's too early. If she suggested it, I would tell her to slow down. Anyway, it's a shared responsibility if a couple has sex.

[Gent207-2]

Yeah if a woman is quick to give it up that establishes what this relationship is about

Nor my style

[OfMiceandMen]

I don't tend to sleep with her on the first date because I barely know her. She could be nice on the outside and wake up to a knife on my genitals.

Sleeping together doesn't come till well into the dating/relationship when I know I can trust her. We waited 3 months in my last relationship.

Besides, when the time comes and you are still together, it makes it that much better and you can plan things a little better.

[normalice]

I'm more likely to take her seriously if there is sex before the first date.

[BoopBoopBeep]

I've had first date sex turn into a 3 year realtionship, so no.

[Summeroflove]

Well. Lol. It’s pretty funny guys who do this. If they don’t want a whore. Then they’re just as bad fucking random girls. If a guy wants a girl who isn’t like that. Then he needs to hold himself to the same standard.


If a girl wants to sleep with me too soon. She gets dumped. I will never understand guys (or women for that matter) who do this. Will not respect someone for sleeping with them. Yet it takes two to have sex doesn't it

[Miristheiss]

Well, I wasn't raised that way. I always dated as a screening process for a wife and I never even attempted to have sex on a first date. A good night kiss is as far as first dates go. She is a COMPLETE STRANGER!!!

The only way sex would even be a possibility is if she just started coming on to me super strong.

Of course I'd immediately think "oh, she is someone who sleeps around and she's done this LOTS of times before".

Of course she's off the table as a girlfriend or possible wife.

[AviatorTom]

No, sex is part of dating and relationships. Whether it be the first date or the tenth date, I'm interested in her as a person.

[Bricealan]

No difference from my experiences

[Nifrayu]

I guess it depends on how well she takes no for an answer. I have never been willing to have sex with someone I haven't formed a bond with. So if my date tries to have sex with me on a the first date, I would most likely turn her down.

[Finchie40]

Not at all, if I have sex with any girl , it’s because her and I have great chemistry and connection and attraction so my intentions is to have her coming back for more and more , sadly that isn’t always her intentions so it’s the Gamble we all
Take when meeting someone new

[DarkWinterNights]

Absolutely. I wouldn’t push for sex on the first date, but if she did I’d lose interest in anything long term. If she’s that willing to give it up to some random guy she’s been on a single date with, then she’s done it before and we’re probably not compatible.

[KingOfMe1]

Why? Why don't you want her anymore?

[dynamicyandere]

@KingOfMe1 He just explained in his last sentence. If she’s this easy with him without getting to know him, he suspects that she’s easy with men in general and sleeps with men before getting to know them. He’s just not about that.

[KingOfMe1]

@dynamicyandere Why?

[ScisorsAndRaisins]

Absolutely not. Imagine reversing the gender roles in your example.

This reminds me of the classic line: "I would never join a club that would have me as a member." lol

[Doesitreallymatter2u]

First off I'm not gonna be with anyone on the first date or even the 2nd. I've waited almost six months before while seeing the girl every day and we eventually got married. Why is sex like a damn hand shake these days. Whatever bad karma or curse or disease that person you are taking all that on so you better make sure it's worth it. If I really like the woman I will talk her into waiting and getting to know each other first no matter how much she wants me. Why? because initial infatuation can be confusing. I don't want to connect my body and my soul that I may possibly hate or despise weeks or months down the road. Sometimes a man or woman just want to know that they are worth waiting for and making the investment of their time to get to them first. While I think it's good to wait I also know there are manipulators that will pretend to be saving themselves for you while the whole time they will be dating and banging one night stands when you're not around. Through experience I've learned to spot these kinds of people right away because of their manipulative ways, words and tactics.

[exitseven]

I don't think it would make a difference

[FunkyMonkee]

It WOULD help but, for me, it's not at all mandatory. If she doesn't wanna fuck right away, it's no big deal. I'm more interested in her than just her pussy.

[Redstang88]

No, you’re pretty much bang on

[love_conquers_lust]

No one wants to buy the cow if they get the milk for free.

[TheSpaceGnome]

I wouldn't let her have sex with me on the first date.

I don't even go on dates, I just go from friends to a relationship.