Does an element of innocence actually make sexual intimacy more erotic?

Question

Some people seem to be more drawn sexually to those who are not deviant or sexually rambunctious. When I speak about a level of innocence, I’m not referring in particular to virginity one way or the other. I’m referring to someone who knows how to control themself and be respectful of others until the right person comes along. I heard a wise man once say that there is nothing more beautiful or sexually attractive than a simple and righteous woman who respects herself. I’ve also heard multiple women say that they find men who are more innocent to be more attractive and therefore much more sexually desirable. Do not misunderstand what I am saying. There is nothing better than a man and a woman who can become very sexually active and who love sex with each other. I am not talking about being a prude. I’m talking about protecting the greatest gift that the opposite sex has to offer the other with regard to their own body. If sexuality truly is a treasured connecting activity between two people, would it not be that much more special if it wasn’t paraded around on websites such as only fans or at sex parties, etc? And then once you find the right person, become one flesh and go to town as much as you both can. In a respectful and consenting way of course.

Lliam · Accepted Answer

I understand what you mean. I like that, too.

A woman with a strong libido is a treasure. But I'm drawn to women to don't give it up to just anyone. I always wanted long-term, committed relationships in which we were both infatuated. I wanted a woman who was horny but also wanted a committed boyfriend-girlfriend relationship. I wanted her to think that I was "the one", as opposed to just someone to fuck.

After we date long enough to build trust and deep regard, and move to our first sexual encounter, I really like it when she is a bit shy and demure. She has sexual experience but is still a bit nervous the first time. She doesn't try to put on a tempting act like a stripper, pop music dancer, or porn star. She has a more innocent, tender, delicate, vulnerable and sensual attitude.

One particular girlfriend serves as my ideal. I was 37 and had had several previous girlfriends in my life. She was 30. We wound up living together for over a year.

After we had been dating for a short time, she finally invited me inside the house she was renting one night when I drove her home. I sat on her bed. She laid me down and proceeded to remove my shoes and socks, then tenderly and systematically stripped me naked as I laid there submissively getting more and more excited. No woman had ever done that do me before. I just decided to go with the flow.

She looked me over and approved what she saw before walking to her dresser and removing her clothes. She didn't do any sexy poses, but she didn't undress quickly and casually as if she was alone. She did it slowly and deliberately, gradually revealing herself. And yes, she seemed a bit shy, apprehensive, and vulnerable, but also self-confident.

As she revealed herself, her body was more perfect than I had ever imagined beneath her conservative clothes.

As it turned out, she had had a rough life. Her step father had sexually molested her for years from age two or three until she reached puberty. It plunged her into alcoholism. She got married, moved out of the house, and had a child when she was 17. She got divorced a few years later and moved to California. She was pretty messed up at that point in her life. Her son stayed with the father with full visitation rights.

She entered therapy to come to grips with the sexual abuse. She kicked alcohol and learned a good career.

By the time I met her, she had become an amazing woman. She had healthy values, was extremely ethical, sweet, bright, plucky, hard working, and determined to survive.

As it turned out she was also hypersexual and orgasmic. She had obviously been sexual with her step father and husband. She may have become promiscuous in school before she got married. I don't know. And I have no idea what her sex life was like after her divorce when she was still an alcoholic. Needless to say that she had been fucked a lot and sucked a lot of dick in her life.

But when I met her, she didn't act like a slut or cum dump at all. She seemed conservative. She had self confidence, self esteem and self respect.

I admired her for overcoming such hardship and becoming a wonderful person. Her sexual past didn't bother me at all.

SnowedIn · Accepted Answer

I like what you have to say here, how you said it, and the way you wrote it. I think the answer to your title question and the question in the third to last sentence is that it depends on the people. For some couples or individuals that element of innocence as you called would make sexual intimacy more erotic. For some, it would do the opposite. And still others it wouldn't matter at all.

For me personally, as you describe it would not add to (or take away from) the eroticism. That's not one of the factors in what is and what isn't erotic for me.

Again though, you have a well thought out idea that, sure, probably is true for some (? many?) folks.

LovingLoverReturned · Accepted Answer

Yes.

I'm not into the casual sex.

Because some modesty is a likely , not 100%, indicator that he will be loyal, I find it attractive.

I can confirm that someone can be very interested in sex, often horny, yet unwilling to do such before the time is right. It is strength and also admirable as you said.

menina · Accepted Answer

I'm not sure. Some people are more into random sex while others prefer to have it while in a relationship or in a marriage. I see nothing wrong with both as long as it done with responsibility and consent.

The mystery part doesn't do anything for me.

NathanDavis · Answer

these choices are personal... you do you and whatever you're into... and others will do theirs

4ngelic · Answer

personally i like all degrees of innocent to perv in a guy, depends on what i want in that moment

misogynistic_pig · Answer

It doesn't excite me but it is a nice feature.

bean2k21 · Answer

No, I prefer someone who knows what she's doing. Anybody can fake innocence. And, if you're not faking it then you don't what you're doing.

exitseven · Answer

There is truth to what you say. Hooking up just diminishes the whole experience Losing your virginity is a big deal and treating it like a chore to get through ruins the experience.

Subarugirl · Answer

well innocence is a synonym for ignorance... ignorance and sexual intimacy do not mix well, it will usually end with one or both persons unsatisfied and disappointed if not hurt as well.

Johnagain · Answer

Yeah, but not always. For me, it's when I'm in the mood for that sort of girl's innocence appeal (let's call it). Other times, it's the more aggressively sexual ones or the slutty ones that are more appealing to me.