Does every guy like it when a girl does ___? Does every girl want a guy with a big ___?

[OlderAndWiser]

Almost every day, I read questions such as "Does every guy like to make eye contact when receiving oral sex?" or "Does every girl want a guy with a big penis," etc. Sometimes, the questions are slightly different: "Why does every guy who I date only want sex and they break up as soon as I give them what they want?" or "Why is it that every girl I date is a gold digger?" I wonder about the people asking these questions. I have some SERIOUS questions about these people.

Why would ANYONE think that EVERY guy likes eye contact during oral sex? There isn't anything that is true about EVERY guy except that they have XY chromosomes. Some guys only have one testicle (e.g., Adolf Hitler.) I've met guys that don't like to watch football games. I've met guys that don't like ice cream. I've met guys who don't care for music. I've even met guys who don't like the fact that they are alive. I can't really think of anything that ALL guys like. Do a poll and you will find a few guys who absolutely do not like oral sex. Really!

At my age, I've dated many women. I've probably been on first dates with at least 200-300 women and I have dated probably 40 women beyond the first date stage. I've had sex with about 20 different women. There is only one thing that I can truly say that applies to all of those women (drum roll, please, while awaiting for the announcement of the universal truth):

Every woman is different. There isn't any one thing that they all like. Chocolate? MOST women love chocolate but some women really don't like chocolate (e.g., my mother.) Most women love to go shopping but I have known a few who did not. Most women really enjoy oral sex but I had a girlfriend who absolutely forbid me from doing that and another one who "tolerated" it but never had an orgasm from oral stimulation.

Perhaps, when you are first dating, you think (subconsciously, at least) that life would be much simpler if you could develop one set of rules that apply to all members of the opposite sex. Yes, that would be much easier, wouldn't it? But it doesn't work that way. It's much more complicated!

Maybe 50-75 years ago, if you were 19 years old, you lived in a rural Midwest town, you had never lived anywhere else, and every guy you had ever dated played on the high school football team and worked on his daddy's farm . . . maybe it seemed as if all guys were alike. But I suspect even that simplified slice of life is not so simple now. In 2017, with the proliferation of the internet and digital communications, we all are exposed to so much diverse information that it shapes us in ways that amplify our individuality. We all have different experiences, different input from different sources, and even identical twins are not truly identical.

Viewing all men, or all women, as being alike condemns us to make horrible mistakes in relationships. For example: I am a traditionalist and I open doors for women, help then with their jacket, etc., but if I assumed that every single woman wanted me to do that, I would receive a lecture from a few. Most women like to receive flowers and even more so, they like to receive flowers at work ("Oh, girls . . . look what my man sent me!")

BUT some women think flowers are a waste of money; others are embarrassed by receiving flowers at work ("oh gawd, they're all gonna think I had sex with my boyfriend last night! I could just die!") Sending flowers to one of those girls could be a HUGE mistake!

If every guy you date acts the same way, it doesn't really mean that all guys act the same way. It almost always means that you keep selecting the same type of guy for dating. If you keep meeting guys on Tinder and all they want is to get in your pants . . . is that really a surprise? Why do you think that proves that ALL guys are alike? (Believe it or not, ALL guys are not in Tinder)

Stop looking for the commonalities between members of the opposite sex and start appreciating their differences. How else are you going to decide who is a keeper and who is a catch-and-release?

[wolverinee]

Getting a perspective with others can sometimes help. you are absolutely​ right about everyone being different.
But sometimes what other thinks about the thing makes you help you make decision. and also it would be only help, we can not just have a poll and decide majority its not a democracy. how i see these questions is someone wants to make a most informed decision as possible.
we all are different with each other yes but one more thing is we all sometimes dont even know ourself. as most of these ques are from teenagers, they are at point of life where they dont even know themselves or what kind of person are they. a person who dated many times will hardlu ask this type ques. but a person dating first time needs help, that person is confuse and even scared. for eg what if a girl in eighteen decides that if his boyfrnd is asking him to send nudes after may be 2-3 days of knowing each other and upon refusing acting forcefully, now only talking to others she will realise that his boyfrnd is an asshole and she needs to stay away from him. this ques my be far stretched but we have actually seen these types.

[Cavewoman]

@and even identical twins are not truly identical.

Precisely, life would be so damn boring if every man is exactly the same and every woman is exactly the same XD

3 cognitive distortions of people who think that every man is the same and every woman is the same:

i) mental-filtering
ii) overgeneralisation
iii) all-or-nothing thinking

[Cavewoman]

Even a wall is neither 100% clean nor 100% dirty. How many things in this world are absolute? :-)

[Nodachi]

I didn't think this was the case anyway. I think because this is a poll/opinion site it's just to kind of get a consensus of whether something is "more likely". Presuming it's a legitimate question anyway - I assume the WHO LIKES ANAL BUTT SEX questions are essentially just someone who likes knowing the perversions or random people on the internet as some weird kink and they don't actually give a damn. If anything they don't want to know about the people who *don't*. Hence why the MHO tends to be the most filthy answer imaginable.

But if that's their reason, I wish they would stop asking because they clog up the live feed, when there could otherwise be interesting questions to answer.

As far as my answers go on here... well I try to make it has honest as I can to my own perspective. And also explain WHY I came to that conclusion. Then if it's something about "Do all girls" then I'll maybe also try to explain why something is or is not more likely in women. If I have an answer anyway.

Damn though, if anything this site has confused me even more about men and women than before. The only reason I wanted to join was because I feel a bit out of touch with my own peer group. And... I still feel out of touch with my own peer group. I guess that's the problem with the internet; we only see the parts of people they want us to see. And the questions on here would be stuff not otherwise asked in a real life conversation with strangers.

[rose004b]

I'll start to link this myTake whenever I see "does every girl/guy do X or is like Z".

[Midget_Hug]

Oh, the joys of real life.

To be frank we are wired to generalize and humans do not functionally differentiate between generalizations and absolutes either. So the logical assessment you made here between "All" or "Some" or "Most" or "None" has no real value.

Not only that but generalizations actually work very well. You will always do better in the long run catering to generalized behavior than you would to specified behavior in dealing with others.

[OlderAndWiser]

Right.

[Midget_Hug]

If only you were actually repentant.

[OlderAndWiser]

No need. Not on this issue. You have your opinion, I have my opinion. I never said you were wrong. Are you saying that I am wrong?

[Midget_Hug]

I am. "You think that you have some unique strength that will enable you to defy all odds and do what no one previously has ever done. Well, if anyone has ever said or done anything that makes you feel that you are THAT different, let me put it in perspective: “Always remember that you are absolutely unique. Just like everyone else.” - Margaret Mead." So you know the general reality of relations, that ultimately your parents who will definitely generalize their opinion on your partner and apply it because they aren't going to intimately get to know them, comes to a front when you state a general trend of expectation. Alright. But here, "Perhaps, when you are first dating, you think (subconsciously, at least) that life would be much simpler if you could develop one set of rules that apply to all members of the opposite sex. Yes, that would be much easier, wouldn't it? But it doesn't work that way. It's much more complicated!" So it works for mom but not for you?

[Midget_Hug]

The reality? You should indeed generalize. You're right 90% of the time. In the 10% you're wrong you'll adapt. Your mom will. Your friends will. Most anyone who passes judgment against or your decisions in partners or anything else will. I can't imagine what it would be like to approach every case like a newborn not just knowing the structure of what's to come, can you?

[OlderAndWiser]

You have misconstrued what I said. That gives you something to criticize. But you are not criticizing what I said so I will stop responding.

[Midget_Hug]

Smart move old man. How strange the entire premise of giving any sort of advice rests on people being exactly the same.