Does he truly love me?

[katrinaheart]

I have given him everything - I gave up my dream care, I changed my entire personality, I changed my fashion sense, my music taste, i have done things for him that I am still disgusted I'm myself for doing but I did it coz he wanted it so bad. I do everything for him from cook and clean to cater to his needs. He hasn't hardly changed. He won't cook, won't clean, won't mow the yard (knowing I can't because I have a very weak constitution, it would make me very I'll if I did and he knows that, he won't even take a shower. In the bedroom, it's all about him and his cuck fantasies... I am ashamed to admit that I have fucked other dudes while he watches simply because he kept begging for it. He won't even do anything I'm into in bed. Yet, he hugs me and cuddles me and makes me feel safe. he's there when I need him emotionally. So, my question is: does he really love me or does he just love what I do for him? Please, it's killing me inside. I need to know.

[MrOracle]

You're focusing on the wrong thing (whether or not he loves you) because you believe the lie that "love will conquer all." It's obvious that the two of you are not COMPATIBLE - you have very different values and life goals and sexuality and perhaps other things - and even if he does love you, you'll never have a successful long-term relationship if you aren't compatible. Loving each other won't fix the compatibility issues.

You need to figure out that you need to be a lot more practical when you choose a guy, and realize that attraction and love is NOT enough to make it work. Compatibility is something you need to talk a lot about very early on, starting before you even decide to date, and certainly before you agree to be in a committed relationship. If you fail to do that, or if you do it and ignore major incompatibilities that you discover, then you'll be right back in this situation again.

[supersplif]

hey, I had a friend in the same situation. I guess she kept going back just because she hated the idea of being alone while waiting for a real husband material man comes along.

does he always insist on you making videos, is he a 3some kind of guy?

[katrinaheart]

No, but he pushes for me to sleep with BBC so he can watch...

[supersplif]

why would he rather watch then have you ride him? doesn't make sense. does he sleep with other women?

[katrinaheart]

No he has no interest in other women. He has a cuckold fetish. I don't like sleeping with other dudes and if I'm being honest, I have to sneak away and cry afterwords every time. He doesn't know that but doing that goes against every romantic belief I have and it breaks my heart...

[supersplif]

how come you into this guy so much? don't you have another guy in your life that you find interesting and can talk to when you feel down

[supersplif]

I like to own my women. wouldn't ask her to sleep with some dude if it would make her cry.

[katrinaheart]

I don't and it's complicated. He saved my life 4 years ago when I had no one else.

[supersplif]

aww bless but it doesn't make you his slave. I had an ex who was in a similar situation as you. she wanted this guy so bad but all he wanted was kinky sex.

[supersplif]

he used to insist on filming themselves funking all the time

[katrinaheart]

That's not all he wants. He wants to watch anime and movies together and cuddles -all the normal couple stuff, but he never wants to do what I want to do. He also is very lazy - so lazy that he makes me deal with any conflict because he doesn't feel like arguing with anyone. He puts me on the front line like that simply because he doesn't want to have to do something. Hell, he forgot mother's day this year (we have a 3yo) and my birthday! He doesn't want to do any work around the house - I have to literally risk my health to get shit done cuz he thinks that just because he works he shouldn't have to do anything once home.

[katrinaheart]

It hurts like hell. My heart tells me he does love me, he just doesn't know how to show it, but my head tells me he's a lazy bum who's just using me so he can be even lazier.

[katrinaheart]

And I'm stuck here either way. Long story, but I don't have the resources needed to take our child and leave him.

[supersplif]

so are you married to him?

[katrinaheart]

Not legally. We're technically just engaged, but we say we're married.

[supersplif]

I see. have you ever fell for any of these BBC that he has watched you take? I mean is it so bad that you don't have an organic not matter how much you take? is he not worried about losing you

[katrinaheart]

I've become disinterested in sex of any kind tbh, and no, he isn't. Again, I'm stuck here tho.

[supersplif]

I think that's the main problem for you. someone will show you what a true man is like. maybe even the most unlikely person then he is gonna be in trouble

[katrinaheart]

You don't understand tho - I'm stuck here. I don't have a job thanks to covid, I don't have my own car, and I have nowhere to go. I don't have any money either. I cannot take my child and leave because I am not endangering my child just to leave. I want to wait until I have enough money to get my own car and place but that may take years. I quit doing the BBC's months ago and have refused to since tho. It hurt too much.

[supersplif]

I feel for you. it sounds awful that you try your best but he doesn't. at least he doesn't sound like the jealous type. I mean does he mind you talking to men when he us not with you

[katrinaheart]

No, he doesn't. He even said it'd be hot if I were to cheat on him... And that shattered me cuz it feels like he just doesn't care

[supersplif]

well at least it gives you a chance to escape from it all when you really need to. I mean you must keep one eye open for a man who looks after a women he is with. p. s I'm guessing you are from the USA?

[supersplif]

p. s he must be really hot if you did all this for him too

[katrinaheart]

Yes, from the USA. And maybe but the part the hurts the worst is how much I still love him. That makes everything else so much worse

[katrinaheart]

He's your typical dad bod kinda dude. Not really hot, but not ugly. But he's inhumanly strong.

[supersplif]

do you share pics. curious to see what your hooked on. maybe WhatsApp? lol how is he inhumanly strong? does he lift you up and "pound" you 🤣

[katrinaheart]

I don't. I don't like to either haha and no, this man can lift a whole hot tub by himself and benches almost 300-400 pounds. Believe me or don't, it doesn't matter, but thanks for calling me fat.

[supersplif]

how did I call you fat? lol I just asked like if you like fucking him standing up hahaha. does he have a big enough cock for you? or am I asking too much now

[katrinaheart]

That's too much. I said earlier that I've lost all interest in anything sexual. The phrasing you used made it sound like i was too heavy for him to lift.

[supersplif]

lol I'm fom the UK so I would imagine your a size 8. but its hard to tell from what I can see. I guess sex is shit if its not full if love and lust

[katrinaheart]

Sex doesn't interest me if there is no emotional connection on BOTH sides. Actually, I kinda think I've become asexual because of all this...

[supersplif]

I guess its gonna be hard in a relationship if you don't have that passion. guys love to talk about sexy things.

[katrinaheart]

Yeah. He ruined that for me.

[supersplif]

were you more into it before you met him? what was your first man like... any better

[katrinaheart]

He was my first.

[supersplif]

wow so say you met a handsome decent sounding guy in a bar or a cafe... would you give him a shot at you?

[katrinaheart]

I'm against cheating so until I'm out of this relationship, it's friends only and if he can't respect that, he's out.

[supersplif]

where is he right now anyway. is he not with you

[katrinaheart]

He just got home from work. He informed me that he lost his temper at work and may no longer have a job. Just great. 😭

[supersplif]

lost his temper? tell me more... what does he do

[katrinaheart]

He works at a lumber mill. 5-4 every day save for weekends. Apparently, he got mad and was throwing stuff. Yeah, pretty sure they aren't going to allow him to keep working there.

[supersplif]

hmm can't have someone losing it with a chainsaw in hand. out of curiosity, do you guys do guns

[katrinaheart]

If that isn't bad enough, they made it mandatory to wear a mask while working and he's the only one refusing. So if his temper didn't lose him his job, that will.

[supersplif]

why would he refuse. is he into all the conspiracy stuff,

[katrinaheart]

No, he says he can't breathe with it on

[supersplif]

I would have thought that working in a lumber mill he would normally wear some protection from the dust even before covid. what did you work as before?

[supersplif]

are you gonna do anything to make him feel better

[katrinaheart]

I'm a stay at home mom, but if he lost his job, that will have to change. And no. He told me why he lost his temper and it was childish. He's actually cooking supper rn which is shocking to me

[katrinaheart]

And no, he doesn't, but he needs to.

[supersplif]

so go on then... you might aswell tell me the story? you mean you think he should get a gun?

[katrinaheart]

He lost it because the bosses were making him do things differently and he didn't like it. Also, we have one but he doesn't need it cuz he's trained in several forms of martial arts+his strength.

[supersplif]

oh I see. so is he off work tomorrow. so did he come home early today... what time is it for you?

[katrinaheart]

As far as I know, he has to work tomorrow. No, he came home at the usual time.

[supersplif]

cool. so what does a stay at home mom do to keep sane. any hobbies

[katrinaheart]

😂😂😂 barely have time for those anymore

[supersplif]

aww bless. is your baby girl with you all day long? what did you enjoy doing when you were able to

[katrinaheart]

Yes, she is and Netflix if I get the chance 😂

[supersplif]

what do you watch on Netflix. p. s I'm sure their is more to you then Netflix

[katrinaheart]

Horror movies, mostly. It's my guilty pleasure 😂

[supersplif]

I love horror moves too. especially sat next to a girl who is all jumpy lol. so you still waiting on your dinner?

[katrinaheart]

Nah I just got done eating. I wish he'd cook more often, he's so good at it

[supersplif]

what did he make for you? x

[katrinaheart]

We called them Oriental wraps. They were these burritos with veggies and home made chicken nuggets in it.

[supersplif]

doesn't sound bad at all. are you in your night clothes?

[katrinaheart]

You mean my sweatpant and over sized hoodie? Yes

[supersplif]

I love a girl who can rock a hoodie... is he not paying you attention?

[katrinaheart]

Yeah, he is, actually

[supersplif]

I'm so jealous... I'm like gagging for a bit of attention after all this talking lol.

[supersplif]

I like talking to you. hope I ain't been to much of a troll

[katrinaheart]

Thank you. Just please try not to flirt. I'm going through enough right now.

[supersplif]

lol don't worry your safe

[katrinaheart]

Thank you

[supersplif]

hey. what are you up to

[mfate76]

His spoilt by the easy lifestyle that he has and hugs you to say "thanks" for allowing me to get away with it

[katrinaheart]

How do I change that? How do I get him to do his part?

[mfate76]

Well for example agree with him that if he mows the lawn you will give him oral etc

[mfate76]

If helps in the kitchen you show him your boobs

[katrinaheart]

I've tried that, it didn't work but he still expected head. He's too lazy still. His words, not mine. Is there anything else that might work

[mfate76]

It should not have to be a barter system he should help with no expectations of sexual stuff in return

[katrinaheart]

I know and he took me by surprise today. He cooked supper tonight, volunteered at that.

[mfate76]

Well that's a positive move

[katrinaheart]

I'm honestlyb scared to hope that it's the start of a change