Sexual Relationships
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Does it make me a slut if I want to spend my early 20's messing around with guys while I'm still young, then settle down when I'm near my 30's?

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Superb Opinion

  • Different people will have different opinions on whether this makes you a "slut", but what's far more consistent is that if you do this, and then you hit 30, you're going to find that men will not value you, and that you won't find a man to settle down with - at least not one that YOU value. Plenty of men will DATE you, and certainly will bang you, but COMMIT to you, after you've spent 15 years banging a bunch of different dudes?

    What happens in reality is that you'll either continue to get used for sex by guys until you lose your looks (and guys may lie and tell you they love you, or they plan to marry you, but they won't actually do it), OR you'll have to find a guy way down on the scale - guys you would never even dream of talking to today, much less date - in order to actually marry you.

    What you are offering is akin to saying "I'm going to buy a new car today for $30,000, and I'm going to drive it 20,000 miles a year for 10 years, and THEN I'm going to sell it to some guy for the same price I paid for it!" What will actually happen 10 years from now, when you ask for $30,000 for your 10-year-old, 200,000-mile car, is that guys will offer you $500 for it - if you're lucky. Many guys will just laugh and walk away.

    You're planning to essentially be a party girl. Men are happy to have fun with party girls, but they don't marry them, and they don't start families with them (on purpose, anyway). They are seen by men as having no long-term value.

    If a man wants to marry, he wants a WIFE and a FUTURE MOM - not a party girl. Those two types of women could hardly be more different, and you cannot just switch from one to another - it takes years of practice and thinking differently to be a wife. The reason so many men aren't marrying at all anymore is because so few women are wives material. Merely getting married doesn't make you a wife in any real way.

    Part of the reason is this: studies have shown that when women have sex, they bond with the person they're with, and severing that bond weakens their ability to bond the next time. Every bond they make and break makes the next bond weaker, and it doesn't take long before her ability to bond is completely burned out. Then what happens is that as soon as she's bored or annoyed or frustrated by something, she wants to do what she's used to doing: leaving and finding someone new and exciting (exciting for a little while, anyway).

    This is KIND of true for men, but there's a catch: while if a man forms an emotional bond with a woman, and later breaks that bond, his pair-bonding ability is also damaged, but most men can do something that most women cannot, which is that most men can have sex withOUT having an emotional connection, and in those cases, there was no bond for him, and so nothing gets damaged. A woman who sleeps with 50 guys has 50 broken bonds, which is catastrophic damage. A man who sleeps with 50 women, but only had an emotional bond with 5 of them, has 5 broken bonds. That's still damage, but it's relatively minor, despite having sex with the same number of partners. Most women can't have bond-free sex, at least not while she still has a low body-count, so every guy she sleeps with counts against her bonding ability.

    Men today understand this well, and so they do not value party girls as potential wives.

    • Here's your MHO!

Most Helpful Guy

  • You will be far less attractive then. Some women fail to grasp that they age. In addition, most women cannot have children by 35. It is almost impossible at 40. If you do not want children, and are okay marrying a lesser man, then enjoy the next ten years. Oh, and men do not like marrying women who slept with their friends or colleagues, so you poison every potential pool of mates with each man you fool around with. You can always move cities in your thirties.

    just remember, many women in their twenties are find marrying men in their thirties, or even forties. Men in their thirties and forties marry younger (I am 44, and my oldest woman was my ex-wife at 31, we were married ten years, I have never dated a woman over thirty since then).

    so, the women marrying in their twenties will get the best men, followed by the women who dated long-term in their twenties and got married in their early thirties. I know men in their fifties who married women in their thirties, if you are into that. And, you must marry quickly if you want children, or roll the dice with ivf.

    it is your choice, just understand you will look far worse in your thirties, if you fool around you will be less attractive, and if you do as you please for a decade, you will probably not be capable of living with someone else, so why bother marrying only to get divorced?

    women looking to settle down in their thirties are a sad lot that are not well-liked. If you do not care, then party on!

Most Helpful Girls

  • Nothing wrong with being a slut. I'm naturally very blonde very blue eyed abd a total black cock loving slutty white girl and love getting fucked in my pussy my tits my ass and my mouth by very dark sexy black husband and several other very dark sexy black men all at once. I take being called a slut as a compliment. I also always dress all in very bright pink and like a dominatrix. I wear very high heeled super slutty thigh high platform boots and super slutty long gloves that are very bright pink. Everything I own and wear is very bright pink including my glasses and the cigarettes I smoke and my houses and cars and everything in my houses and cars. As we all know pink is the most beautiful most feminine and sluttiest color of all and the color is black cock loving blonde blue eyed white sluts love wearing.

  • I don't think it does. Personally, I think it's totally normal to date around in your twenties and settle down in your thirties, because earlier, you're still kind of getting to know yourself and what you're looking for. But then again, different people have different opinions. You do what you think is right for you, and don't care what others think. If you wanna date around and scoop out your options during your twenties, I say go for it. As long as you're not doing something to hurt others, it's completely fine.

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What Girls & Guys Said

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  • If you do I hope some decent guy doesn't get stuck with you, because by that time I doubt you would ever be able to stop dipping into the sperm bank and actually be faithful.

  • Basically yes. But that's not necessarily a bad thing. Many men prefer to be with sluts. They enjoy knowing that their girlfriend/wife has had good sex and has an open mind sexually. Any guys out there who can back me up? Lol

  • I think that is a good way to do it. Then later when you want to settle down, you will have knowledge about how big of a penis fits and satisfies you the best. And as far as being labeled a "slut", it seems to me like more and more guys are looking for a sexually adventurous woman these days.

  • For me, “slut” means someone who thinks of sex as a recreational activity rather than a means of expressing love and affection in a committed relationship. If the shoe fits, wear it.

  • well yeah. sleeping around with lots of folks makes you a slut

  • That seems common to me.

  • Naw, it's all good. Just don't mess around with a russian guy or someone with a threatning aura

  • I wouldn't say so.

  • Yea it makes you a slut, and poor guy who would marry you, you can't be trusted.

    https://www.youtube.com/embed/oDaaAI6keSw

  • not in the least. you'd never see a guy asking that question. society has different standards for women. it seems like it'll never change

  • It doesn’t make you a slut it makes you experienced.

  • No absolutely not, get it all out of your system vefore settling down. Enjoy your younger years and have the adventures you want and experience as much as you can. You only get one shot in this life, have fun with it, don't have regrets.

  • I think most women settle down around the age of 30-34. Don't let the misogynists on here tell you that only women in their 20s have a shot at settling down with someone. Do some research. Statically , vast majority of modern women settle down around the age of 30-34

    • You have a different idea of settling down than men do, if you look at ghe day. If you mean become a single mother, then you are correct. If you mean enter a long-term marriage, you are incorrect. The problem I hear, incessantly, is that many women do not appear to understand that men prefer younger to older (outside the US this is common knowledge), habits picked up as a party girl are hard to shake (men can tell what you are, whether you tell them your past or not), and too many women in their thirties appear to be utterly delusional regarding their relative status (the men interested in you at 22 will be far out of your league at 34). If one does not want children born to a two-parent household, nor wants marriage to a successful man, then there is nothing to be concerned about. I am 44. I know two dozen women my age who are heartbroken over their failure to settle down and have a family, and every one is a successful professional, most were beautiful in their twenties. In public they have no regrets, to their former high school boyfriend at 2am, they anguish in misery. It all comes down to goals. A woman does not need to get married or have children. Many women who do marry at 22, choose not to have that life (such as my ex-wife). For those women who do want a husband and a child, waiting until their thirties will make such a goal challenging at best. Let’s stop lying to young women. They can make a choice, but men’s options in their thirties and forties are different than womens, for biological reasons

    • @SkipPerk

      In 2021, the average age of marriage for female participants was 33, while male respondents married at age 35.

      www.theknot.com/content/average-age-of-marriage

    • @SkipPerk I’m gonna just remind you that the vast majority of men in their late 30s-40s is not gonna be able to get a woman in her 20s. Womne in their 20s typically are dating guys in their 20s or early 30s. They’re typically not interested in men who are 10-20 years older. From what I’ve seen, men in their late 30s-40s tend to go for women 30-34. And lastly , anyone can suffer from heartbreak regardless of age. Whether a woman is in her 20s or 38. But having children is a power than any woman can hand through her lifetime. Believe me, if a woman truly wanted to have kids , she would have them. Women don’t need a husband to have a family. But men need a wife to have a family

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  • Nope, it makes you small minded.

    You're assuming you'll "get some" throughout your 20's and have enough of a reputation to find the right guy to "settle" with, in your 30. Can't make a housewife out of a whore, remember that. While you do want to enjoy yourself, there is always a cost to everything.

  • Yes.
    A man would be a fool to settle down with you.

  • Casual sex at any age makes someone a slut.
    You past matters and will affect your prospects in your future.

    Once you are past 30, don't expect to get a good guy regardless of your past. Your best chances of getting a good mate is having good morals, a good past, and finding them before you are 30.

    You make your own life decisions, but YOU are the one that has to live with the consequences of your choices.

  • It makes you very short-sighted. And if you taste too many men, one will be unlikely to satisfy you for 30+ years. If you are so horny, I would advise you to get married and explore your partner for many years. Also, it isn't good for women's genitourinary systems to have many different men introduced into it.

  • I will not get into name calling, because if you are not harming others in exercise of your free will, no one should have a say. However, men instinctly value youth and fertility, the latter being based on the former. Basically if you didn't want me in your prime, I wouldn't want you in your decline.

  • That’s fine

  • No. But consider if you want kids, your fertility will start to drop off in your 30's. Kids are hard work and you may be better off looking to have them at 27 rather than too much later (I didn't have first till 37, I struggle to do late nights like I used to). Also you may not find it all that easy to settle down past 30. By that age perspective suiters maybe married, divorced, have kids.
    Have fun by all means, but maybe think about when it's right for you to settle down. A fulfilling relationship is worth more than flings.

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