Does it mean that I'm asexual if I value sex less than everything else in a relationship?

I have never been in a relationship but when I sometimes read sex stories from couples where they do kinky stuff together nearly all the time I often feel like "oh crap, I wouldn't want my relationship to be like this". I am more of romantic type and the type of girl who wants to be seen as "beautiful and cute" by her boyfriend and not "hot and sexy". In fact I don't know if I could stay with a guy who mainly would call me the latter. I would much more prefer him to give me a nice gift or invite me on a dinner than for him to finger me or give me cunnilingus.
BUT I masturbate, I sometimes feel slight sexual attraction and I am planning on having sex, it's just that I value everything else more than sexual stuff
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Most Helpful Guys

  • It's not black and white, you sounds almost asexual, but you are not asexual/total asexual, because you are still able to feel a slight sexual attraction, also you planning on having sex and you masturbate, so you are not totally a dead/undead. You sounds quite prudish, but there is guys who are into cute/prudish girls over sexy/slutty girls.

  • Just sound like you'd prefer slower more passionate sex or rough sex. That's completely normal, just a personal preference. Definitely not asexual as you have sexual attraction towards people, just means you have a low sex drive, nothing to worry about :)

Most Helpful Girls

  • I don't know... sex doesn’t have to be kinky though. You can have romantic sex. But why wouldn’t you want him to call you hot and sexy? If he just thinks you’re cute maybe he doesn’t have sexual attraction to you. I think it is a balance, such as taking you out to dinner. THEN going down on you

  • Asexual means you don’t feel sexual attraction or arousal, so no.

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What Girls & Guys Said

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  • Not at all. This is pretty common among a lot of people, me included. To me, sex is just a part of a relationship. But the most important part is the emotional connection and bonding.

  • no it does not. you’re like a majority of girls.

  • "I have never been in a relationship.: That means that you don't know how you will feel about a sexual relationship with a boyfriend until you actually have the experience. No amount of intelligence and no amount of reading sex stories can tell you how you will feel until you have the experience. At this point, you are like a blind man trying to describe an elephant and then explain why you think it is beautiful.

    • This is true I always thought I knew what it would be like until i was in that place. It’s different than you couldve ever imagined and it’s wonderful if with someone you love

  • You look completely normal
    Those stories are always weird

  • Most of the girls I've dated have been this way, it's not strange

  • Are you turned on by romance? I've gotten hard just because I had feelings for a woman and not because I wanted to have sex with her, which confused me.