Sexual Relationships
2 mo

Does my husband have a high sex drive or am I too low? is my sex drive too low? once a week is enough for me, Am I being emotionally/mentally abused?

When my husband hasn't had intimacy for over 5 days, he becomes moody, stand offish. I need connection in order to get into the mood. This cycle has been an issue since we got married 8 years ago, once the 5 day mark hits, he starts opening porn sites, chatting to old friends online.

So, the longer he goes without intimacy, the moodier and unfriendly he becomes towards me. The only way out is either I initiate intimacy which is really shit sex for me, or we fight.

Sometimes were busy, it reaches 4 days, then I get my period, and he is just soo distant, and it's not attractive and unmotivating for me to be intimate.

to add to the drama, my 3yo son is low level autistic, I manage, but it takes a lot of energy mentally and physically.

my immigrant husband has discovered escort websites, whenever there's a dry patch he visits them. He texts women, calls/video calls, to get some kind of interaction. He has never met them, I know this because I see his activity on google maps. At one stage there was a few weeks of no intimacy, I was busy working/looking after our son, going through a weightloss journey, and ofcourse I had seen a few things on his phone that upset me so naturally i distanced myself.

It reached a stage where he met up with someone. After contacting her, and asking him after a fight, I gathered that they almost were intimate, he touched her vagina, then backed out because he was worried about STIs.

we had a family meeting with an aunty and agreed that I wouldn't spy on his phone, and he wouldn't do these things anymore, and put more effort towards me.

9 months later, I had an abortion (down syndrome). No improvement. We were intimate 6 days ago and today I see hisoutgoing calls to different escorts, and now he has figured out how to see deleted messages.

The only way I bring him back to me is once we have sex and i refuse to do so with someone who won't acknowledge me for over 24 hours

I feel like sex is a chore for me to avoid heartache and headache

0 0

AI Bot Choice

Superb Opinion

  • I don't think your husband is too high; but I won't say you are too low either. This is all part of the aging process and you, like many women, don't want to have sex unless you feel connected. Something you could do is get a tad sloshed... like have a couple of glasses of wine. That will help get you in the mood.

    I feel for you because your basic situation is somewhat common although I don't like what your husband is doing. God made his arms long enough to take care of himself if he needs too.

    But, right now, you two are having bad sexual chemistry. But, being married for 8 years, it probably wasn't like that at the beginning. So, one or both of you have changed a bit. I suspect it's you and that's a bit normal.

    I hate to say this though, but both these adages are true:
    1. Old Italian Housewives Proverb: It doesn't matter where your husband gets his appetite as long as he eats at home.
    2. The key to keeping a man happy is to keep his belly full and his balls empty.

    Consider "servicing him" either via a BJ or HJ more often even if you are not in the mood. Just oiling up your hand and letting him thrust into your fist is enough for him to blow and get some relief.

Most Helpful Guy

  • i'm sorry but he has cheated on you. he didn't just touch a girls vagina and then decide that was it. (when i read that i had to say something)

    you two have very different sexual needs. that's relatively common in relationships. the difference is when his needs aren't met he does things that he simply should not do in a relationship and should not be tolerated.

    i get it he's horny but he shouldn't be violated your marriage bonds because of it

    • thank you for MHO.

Most Helpful Girls

  • It sounds like you and your husband may have different sex drives, which is common in relationships. However, how your husband behaves when you don't engage in intimacy for a few days is concerning and does sound like emotional manipulation and abuse. It's never okay for someone to be emotionally distant or ignore you because they're not getting the thing that they want from you. If there are issues regarding intimacy in your relationship, it would be best to communicate openly and honestly with your husband about how it's affecting you, and try to find ways to address these issues together.

  • You should consider leaving this guy. He's definitely already cheated... If this was my husband doing this shit to me. I'd do the same thing he's been doing back but worse. Doesn't even matter if I'm horny or not ill just become a hoe to get back at him😂

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What Girls & Guys Said

3 8

  • Girl, you need to divorce his ass! Why put up with that behaviour? I understand why you feel the way you feel and not wanting sex but he has no right to find it elsewhere! He married you! Divorce his ass, you’re worth more than that!

  • Marriage counseling can help, but you both have to be willing to do the work. There are also many good marriage self-help books worth a read.

  • Have you considered couples counseling? Neither of you is happy.

  • Yes I would say that's a vary low sex drive and I personally wouldn't be happy being with a partner that was such a mismatch from myself then again what he is doing is wrong u two clearly are not compatible and are wasting eachothers time

  • To use your own words, if you feel like sex is a chore then yeah you gotta expect he’s gonna be getting frustrated.
    Sounds like you both need to sort yourselves out, but simply put regular is a necessity for guys in a relationship.

  • It sounds like you are not attracted to him anymore and he knows it

  • Just blow him ffs

    • Blowjobs do fix most issues but definitely not in this case. Things are to far down the drain for her

    • @Apple1996 never underestimate the power of the blowjob

    • Maybe for a normal relationship like I gave one last night and my husband has been treating me real nice today. Wouldn't have given one if he was trying to call escorts tho 😂

  • ur low sex drive

  • His behavior he shouldn't be having sex at all.

  • i sense a divorce in your future.

  • Run he is way to put off to want you more then for sex sounds like!

    Where are the sniggles telling you he loves you just I need sex or porn! Escorts cheating...

    Divorce and rub with your son! He is not worth your body or effort he is so far gone!

    Yours is lower of course your doing so much it takes a tole he should love you through it not just go for other things

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