Sexual Relationships
+1 y

Does Porn ruin relationships?

I always thought that porn was harmless, hell, even I watch it sometimes- but I felt very upset when my LDR had hundreds of videos saved monthly, and the girls looked way different than me. He told me he'd rather video chat with me than watch them, but he couldn't "finish" no matter how hard he tried. I think he even tried to secrectly play porn in the background to help him (he accidentally flashed the tv.) I've never done that with someone before, so I don't know if that's normal, or if he's porn addicted (or something else?) I don't know, I got very turned off after that.
Now I just feel like I'm not good enough even though he told me he was just camera shy. I don't know if it's because I didn't look like the girls in the videos or if there's something else just wrong with me. I dont want to nag at him about it in case I'm just being stupid.
Updates:
+1 y
EDIT: I'm not upset that he's using it, I'm upset that he can only finish to it.
1 0

Most Helpful Guys

    • watching to much porn can ruin a persons standards on how sex might be. because people in porn do all kinds of weird, kinky and fetish stuff at times.
    • in no real order these are some likely reasons. why a guy might watch porn while in a relationship.
    • he gets denied sexually by his partner rather often.
    • he has gone for more then a few days without sexual release.
    • his partner is almost ever in the mood. no matter what he does to spark interest.
    • his partner harder ever initiates a sexual encounter.
    • his partner is almost never available for a sexual encounter.
    • he has limited time frame so it's just faster to rub one out.
    • his partner is not willing to try new things he suggests. to spice up their sex life together. or even keep an open mind about things.
    • he has been doing it for years and it's the only way he can orgasm. regardless of how good the sex with his partner is.
    • his partner watches porn with him. to get new ideals to try themselves. or even to spark interest in their own sex life. while keeping an open mind.

    • typo *his partner is almost never in the mood. no matter what he does to spark interest*

  • Depends on what kind of porn and if it is used as a substitute for the real thing. I can't blame either person in a LDR for that.

    • Yeah I definitely don't blame him (especially since I do too), I was just worried because he couldn't stay erect and it really killed my mood too. I wasn't sure if the porn had anything to do with it?

    • Hard to say without knowing all the situation. Age, testosterone levels, history of ED. With that said, when he is actually with you physically, he should be able to focus on you, not the porn. If it is a one time deal, I wouldn't get too worried.

    • thanks for the MHO! Good luck getting things worked out with your dude! Maybe try watching together? ?

Most Helpful Girls

  • No way me and my partner watch when we are alone in our mums houses uve got to understand when uve not seen ure partner in a good few days and haven't had sex for a few days u can't expect him to not have a wank to calm his nerves down because if he's thinking about it to much it can knock him coo coo or urself because uve not had it in a long time so masterbate and let him it calms the angry thoughts down about how much u can't get it and want it

    • I wanted him to use it since we're LDR and I couldn't always be there, but It feels like he can only get off to them.

    • Me and my boyfriend masturbate over videos of each other having sex naked aswel in our phones

    • I sent him some, and he had no problem with the videos, but when we were on live video, he couldn't stay turned on.

    • Show All

  • One I'm sorry that must hurt to feel that way but porn could help your relationship, look at it as a tool yes it may upset you that you don't look like the girls in the videos but tbh nobody does but anyway, maybe try to watch it together or talking about the similar kinds you both like. Sex is tricky in LDR but try and communicate on what works for the both of you

    • I was more upset by the idea that he could only finish to them, and that he tried to play a video in the background. I always wanted a healthy balance of porn, but I feel like he's using it more than he's even attempting to ask me.

    • Maybe then he has a porn problem if it makes you that uncomfortable, I would say have a big talk together or don't

    • Alright, ill just talk to him about it. Thank you very much. :)

    • Show All

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What Girls & Guys Said

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  • No, stupidity and shitty behavior ruin relationships.

    • Ok, thank you.

    • @Nayyr me?

    • He meant me. He is an idiot.

  • So it isn't that he has porn, but you are too insecure, by your own admission, in the post, and that is why it is bad?
    If you have a personal problem, an insecurity, yourself, it won't be fixed, if you think he should get rid of his videos!
    Why are you comparing yourself to the ones in the videos? Videos are FANTASY!! YOU are reality!! Has he stopped loving you, stopped caring about you?
    Is this just your own, personal insecurities, and you are putting those, on him, and thsoe videos, because you are feeling insecure in YOURSLEF?

    • Like I stated, I am not upset he's using it- I'm upset that he could ONLY finish to the videos. Also, the reason I brought up that I looked nothing like the girls in the video wasn't because I was insecure, its because it made me feel like I wasn't quite... his type?

  • im the same as your boyfriend... he is really into porn but it doesn't mean he doesn't care about you

  • i think yes

  • Lmao that's awesome 😂

    But yeah it can either you let it affect the relationship or not but LDR can play a big role in it especially since y'all far away

    • Wait, what's awesome? Lol

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