Does this behaviour mean he thinks I'm ugly?

[Anonymous]

• During sex, he can only orgasm when he is behind me. Sometimes goes soft when face to face. Also always prefers the lights off when it's time for sex.
• When listening to a song about a guy not picking a girl based on her appearance he commented "Smart guy, don't you agree?"
• When he can't finish or goes soft, he always overcompliments me and my looks before I even seem bothered. Feels like he tries to "cover-up" what he really thinks.
• Has made (very, very) lighthearted jokes about me being ugly a few times.

He is very affectionate, even in public, and sometimes seems like he really wants people to recognize that we are together. Very sweet guy, a true gentleman. But the points above has made me question if maybe he is way more into my personality and not so into how I look...

[Anonymous]

I feel like this is an effort to remain in a “dating/fwb” stage and not get too romantic. Taking you from the back to orgasm, lights off, etc, these feel like methods to remain generally detached. Regular missionary, to me, is a lot more intimate, but if the lights are off during missionary, again that’s like attempting to not see you and not connect with you in that way. What’s the remedy for this? To ask what his true intentions are for you. Does he see a relationship? Is he “taking it slow” “waiting for the right moment”, or basically any other excuse to drag his feet? This shows that he doesn’t want to come off as a dick, chase you away, or be mean to you, but he’s not looking for a relationship with you. In which case, you can decide what you want to do: continue this situationship with him, or leave him alone because you aren’t looking for a friends with benefits and don’t want to act as if you two are progressing when that isn’t his true intention.

[Asker]

Hm, this could have been it but It's actually him who is a bit more serious and wants to progress while I'm trying to take it slow. I know he likes me a lot and I like him too, but this really messes with my self-esteem

[Opinion Owner]

It’s good that he is the more serious one, but still I’d ask, if you haven’t already. I think clarity is so important when dating someone, and if you know where his head is regarding being with you then you can get a read on why he acts this way during sex. Like if he says he’s not quite ready to commit, then you know this is why he doesn’t want to face or see you during such intimate moments.

[Anonymous]

That could just be connecting dots that aren’t really there. Is there anything else that makes you think he doesn’t like your appearance? Does he do other things that make you feel beautiful? Does he ever compliment you etc?

[Asker]

He compliments me a lot on the daily, looks at me a lot in a special way. In the morning, he always rambles about how lucky he is to wake up beside me, how cute I look etc. It makes me feel beautiful. But I can't stop thinking about him not being able to have sex with me face to face

[Opinion Owner]

It probably just brings him closer that way because of the physical feeling on his D. Ask him about it in a none defensive way. You’re definitely in danger of making this out to be bigger than it needs to be by the sounds of it.

[Asker]

I will try to talk to him about it. Hopefully he'll be honest with me. Thank you!

[Anonymous]

I'll be honest the way you described him I think he most likely thinks you're ugly but that's your perspective and I didn't meet him in person so don't expect an accurate answer from me

[7771999]

Sounds plausible

[Asker]

Well, is there any way to find out without asking him (because he would obviously not tell me)?

[7771999]

That's a hard question. Like... maybe change your style and see if he compliments your looks or the clothes specifically

[Opinion Owner]

a way I can think of is to go to a good salon and get a really beautiful makeup and have sex with that makeup see his reaction then maybe two weeks later make yourself ugly as much as you can and then have sex with him and see his reaction, then compare his reaction when you're having normal sex and see which one his reaction is closer to, that is his real thinking about you

[Big_Dong]

You could try giving him a bj while looking at him and see if it changes anything. Also you could ask him how you look, you could even do it when a similar topic comes up.

[Big_Dong]

You could ask his friend also and see what he has told them.

[Ez-Bri-Z]

I think the best one to ask is him of course, but it might be an anxiety to have someone watching him in the act. The "jokes" about being ugly though isn't cool and it wouldn't be something I'd personally want happening.

[MasterOfReality]

“Light hearted jokes” about you being ugly?
That is the most foreign behavior I have ever heard about doing to a woman.

[avadhk1987]

Not exactly.. its just ur ass is too. sexy