Does this count as sexual assault?

so a few days ago, my male friend from another city was visiting my city, and I had talked to him before about roughly what area I live in, & he told me he was close to that area & asked if it was okay for him to come over & say hi before he headed off to his other friends house to stay the night. It was about 10pm & I said it was okay for him to come & say hi & chill for a bit, but then he started telling me he was tired & that he wasn't bothered to drive to his friends place & asked if he could park in my underground carpark & sleep over at mine. I wasn't expecting that, but I told him I guess it was okay as long as he's okay with sleeping on the couch & that he would have to leave early so I could go to work on time the next morning. He agreed to all of that & we ended up ordering dinner & just watching movies together on my couch. I sat next to him, but with a bit of distance of course cause he's just a friend, but he started putting his arm around me, squeezing my waist & telling me I look good & that I've lost weight, & as I was talking to him about the movie & other general topics, he kept biting his lips, saying 'mhm' to everything as you do when you're not concentrating & are just focusing on getting to the sex, but he wasn't supposed to expect sex cause we're friends & have been for a while. I was really disgusted & kept pushing his arms off & reminding him 'remember, I told you a lot of times I'm not into you like that, & we're just friends, this is inappropriate, please just stop & watch the movie' & then he would apologise & do it again after a few minutes. He then got closer to me and started pulling my top down and giving me a neck massage, & he kept doing it even after I kept pushing him away. He then lay me down and sat on top of me, & he's heavy & big, so I couldn't get him off me, and he kept rubbing my back & pulling my pants down & spanking my ass & smelling me & telling me I smelt sexy. He left early the next morning but I felt so traumatised.
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Most Helpful Guys

  • Yes. That is considered sexual assault. It will be hard to prove if you don’t have any physical evidence because it’s he said she said and there is no marks are anything on you.. if you recorded the whole thing it’s much better. But only thing you really can do is block him and tell he isn’t welcome around your house anymore. And the friendship is over

  • Yes that is sexual assault or at the very least assault, but the fact you told him to stop and he didn't and he was sexualizing you I would say that does count as sexual assault

    • I agree! good point with the sexualising too. I didn't even think about how that can also be considered assault. I just kept thinking about the physical part. but yeah that definitely counts as sexual assault too. I kept trying to figure out whether any of it was my fault or whether I did anything to lead him on but I didn't. I just wanted to be polite as a friend & thought it was just a friendly gesture to let him stay over. I don't know why he messed it up by doing all that.

    • Just a dude that lost control from his arousal levels and decided to sexually assault the girl that let his crash at her place, it's just a fucked up situation, you should definitely not just ignore that, his dumb ass thought he found a loophole by not raping you but he can still catch a charge, sadly there's no evidence of his crime but I definitely think you should try avoiding letting anyone crash at your place if it's not someone you know you can trust, I'm sure you thought you could trust him but now you know you can't, just learn from the experience and be cautious of people, my best wishes to you and I hope you don't gotta experience something like this again

    • yeah what a joke hey, I've been friends with him for about 3 years & we've always just been good buddies that chat, hang out & eat together & now he's ruined it. Yeah I definitely thought I could trust him since he's not usually like that with me, and also cause. he's a lot older than me. I'm almost 24 & he's in his mid 30's, so I really did expect more maturity & control from him. yeah I have no evidence, but he knows what he did. but yeah, I'm now definitely gonna be careful with letting people crash at my place, especially with guys. even if they're just friends it looks like I've gotta be quite careful with that now. thanks so much I really appreciate it :)

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What Girls & Guys Said

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  • I think so, though he was not able to rape you, but it was close to that.

    • yeah, he basically did everything he could without having sex with me. He kept telling me 'don't worry I'm not gonna fuck you or have any sort of sex with you' & then I was like 'but you do realise everything you did was sexual too right?' & he kept insisting that because he's latino, it's normal in his culture to be touchy with friends, & that nothing is considered sexual unless you're actually having sex with them. I hated when he said that

    • Yes he basically did everything sexual he could without having sex with you.

    • yeah, ruined our friendship. I wander if I should talk to him about it or just cut it off with him without saying anything

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  • That is sexual assault

  • Yeap

  • Yes, this was sexual assault. You could file a police report. If you have reason to fear he won’t leave you alone you can file for a restraining order. I recommend not contacting him ever again.

  • It was assault. You may want to check with the police to see if it warrants an investigation.

  • That was sexual assault

  • Wow, what a creep. You should not be friends.

  • Yeah that’s sexual assault (sexual act that was done without permission from the other partner ) report his dumb ass to the police

  • He is a fucked up friend

  • Yes that was sexual harassment. Never talk to him again.

  • Yes it is

  • You really know how to pick your friends 👍