Does this girl have a sexual attraction towards me?

Reposting as MyTake due to character limit......

Does this girl have a sexual attraction towards me?

So, there's this Indian girl I talk to online that I met on an erotica site. Our relationship is interesting. It started out as casual, just swapping story ideas, but then we started chatting about other stuff, not too deeply, but she did open up a little bit, which she never does with anyone. I would call her a "friend" or at least a "buddy".

She's married, but she keeps that part of her life secret from her husband. He doesn't know she writes erotica or talks to men online, which is an extremely important piece of information.

Anyways, one night I posted something about her in the forum. She happened to be on a business trip, and long story short, some things were said and some pics were exchanged. She said I was only the third guy she's ever sent pics to and the first online. She was turned on at the moment as much as she hated to admit it, but when she woke up the next morning, the reality of what she had done, suddenly hit her. She was overcome with extreme guilt for betraying her husband like that, but after she talked it over with her friends she felt better and said, she doesn't regret it, but wants to forget it and not let it happened again, though there's still a chance that it might. It was awkward between us at first, but then things went back to normal.

So FF to this week, her husband is out of town and all week she's been dying to chat with me. I finally got to today, though it was kind of a bad time because I was at work.

Anyways, our convo was nothing too crazy and I eventually told her I have to get back to work. She said she's disappointed that things didn't get wild in the chat. She said, "I'm drunk, so you probably could've taken advantage of that."
Now that I think of it she was sending me hints, and I did wanna do something, but that last sentence was exactly why I didn't. I thought it would be fucked up to take advantage of her when she's drunk, especially after what happened last time, but then she messaged me saying she's disappointed that I was a "good boy". And earlier she called me "dear" then asked me if I like that.
She also said in the chat she misses her husband, and I wanted to ask her why she wanted to talk to me so bad, but I didn't.
The thing is, now I'm sort of kicking myself for not taking things further, but I remembered everything she said last time, and I didn't wanna risk losing her.

I tried to get her to read some of my stories before, but she said she doesn't wanna risk getting turned on when hubby's away and having a repeat of last time. I don't remember if she was drunk or sober last time. But she was very much into it and told me I have a beautiful body after I sent her a pic.

This week, she started being persistent about chatting after I told her I was talking to other girls, but it didn't really go anywhere. But she didn't really give any indication of wanting to do anything, only gave me advice on how to meet women and said that her husband is out of town and wants to chat in the chat room.

Anyways, after today I'm wondering if she secretly does have some sexual attraction towards me, that she's trying to deny and hide from herself even, that only manifests when she's drunk. Last time she was being subtle and said it felt wrong, but this time it seemed that she wasn't even trying to hide it.

This is the second time she's chatted with me while her husband wasn't around. Whatever the reason she was desperate to chat with me, because she says she won't have a chance when her husband comes back.

But clearly she sees SOMETHING in me. They say being drunk brings out your trueself, so I don't think it's an accident that it happened twice, especially since she already knows I think about her that way. Even if she can't control herself when her husband's not around, there has to be a reason she comes to ME of all people. Clearly I must have SOMETHING that her husband lacks and she must like SOMETHING about me.

I'd love if she just came out and admitted it when she was sober, and it became a regular thing, even though I know it's messed up, but an opportunity like this rarely comes around.

I don't know what do you guys think of all this? Was she just drunk, horny and lonely or is there actually something there? Did I miss out on a huge opportunity?

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Most Helpful Guys

  • You probably could have gotten what you wanted out of her when she was drunk. Then when she'd sobered up, she'd feel guilty about doing it and you'd be a piece of shit taking advantage of her like that. She was drunk, horny, and missing her husband. You were providing her with the attention he couldn't be giving her at that point. The question you need to ask yourself is whether you care more about getting your satisfaction from her, or her as a person. She doesn't want your relationship to become too sexual. Yet when people are drunk they lose their inhibitions. Compound that with being horny and talking to someone who isn't physically unattractive, and you can make bad choices. So you could have gotten what you got the last time, and it may have felt good to both of you in the moment, but she wouldn't feel good for doing it afterward.

    • That's pretty spot on

  • No way ever knowing until you hook up with her... but if you got to write a 6-page paper of a post to ask this question... then I would say no she is not attracted to you. It usually not that complicated when they are.

    • You may be a smartass, but you DO have a point

Most Helpful Girls

  • If you want me to be completely honest with you, it sounds like she’s having trouble with her husband and in her marriage. I can’t work out what it is but there’s definitely some trouble.


    This could mean a breakdown in their marriage, but it could also just be a rough patch as many people in long term relationships go through.


    As you know, you shouldn’t be speaking to married women like that. And I do believe in karma. And I’m sure you wouldn’t like to be on the other end of the situation. Also messing with a married women is going to get you nowhere but to disappointment.

    • Yeah, I want you to be completely honest, that's why I sent you this. She didn't give any indication that she was, however, if you have to hide the fact that you write erotica from your husband, then there is definitely something going on. I think Poppy is right, that she shares more kinks/fetishes with me then she does with her husband. She's clearly afraid of being judged and doesn't trust him 100%. If she really regretted it the first time, she wouldn't have let it happened again. So I think that she finally accepted it and no longer cares/feels guilty. Especially if she's been persistent about chatting all week when she was still sober, I think she wanted something to happened with me. I believe in karma too and I probably shouldn't and wouldn't, but if I'm completely honest, she's not the first married woman I've done stuff like this week. I don't necessarily think karma will bite me for this one, because I'm not the only one responsible for. If she's reciprocating and even initiating, then I think part of the responsibility should fall on her and her husband as well. She's a consenting adult and clearly I have something that her husband doesn't. And like I mentioned I controlled myself during the conversation, but now that I know she wants to do something, I'm not gonna pass up the opportunity. I don't think it's taking advantage of her, if she's getting pleasure out of it too. If we can both help each other out, I don't see why that's wrong. As I said, she's a consenting adult and her husband are equally at fault here. Some researchers did a study and found that humans ate not naturally monogamous. And from my personal experience, I've found it's quite common and natural, especially for women who've only had one sexual partner in their life, to be curious about other men. I felt guilty when I've done it before, but not anymore, as these women did this with me by choice.

    • Yeah the last point is true. As a virgin, I really needed to get some things out of my system especially as I got older. Especially as someone with a high libido. That’s why I went through a crazy sexting photos videos everything phase 😂😂 I needed to get it out of my system before I meet my husband. But I’m the topic of honesty. I’m going to be honest because that’s who I am and also because we are friends. I still think what you’re doing is wrong — you’re right in that the responsibility is shared between the two of you but that doesn’t mitigate your responsibility. But to each their own, no judgement here!! :) I also think it’s really hard to say what’s wrong with her husband. It could be that he isn’t pleasing her, and it could be that he’s too busy sleeping with someone else so she feels neglected or they’ve fallen out of love with each other. It could be so many reasons. But what I mean is that she’s not fully available for you and that will not change.

    • I feel the same way. Most people my have already done all this stuff by my age, so I'm sort of playing catch up. I genuinely don't know how people, especially with a high sex drive, can contain themselves 'til marriage. Especially since I think sex is a very important part of marriage so personally, I would like to know how a girl is in bed before I married her. I once overheard a conversation on a plane, "Our priest said it's okay for us to keep having sex after we've had a child." I think it's stupid to try to supress natural urges. And I think doing stuff online is a good compromise. You're still getting pleasure, without taking it too far. Really? You consider me a "friend"?🥰 Like I said, if I didn't want your honest opinion, I wouldn't have sent you this. There's a reason I specifically wanted YOU to look at it 😊 Yeah, without her actually telling me all we can do is speculate, which isn't very healthy. Plus, like I told you before, it's not like I deliberately go seeking out taken women, but if something happens I'm gonna seize the opportunity. I only recently realized how common cheating is. Anyways, I just messaged her. I brought up a few things and told her to be honest with me. Hopefully she is. I know it's incredibly unlikely something serious will happened and yes, it is irritating to not be getting her full attention, but girls like her rarely come around. I'll only really start getting concerned if I end up in a relationship and start craving other women.

    • Show All
  • You probably share similar fetishes, ones she's not comfortable sharing with her husband.

    • Oh yeah, I know for sure we do. Thanks Pops😉

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What Girls & Guys Said

1 7
  • No.

    One comment stated they didn't want to read all that. I can see why.

    You're trying to justify there's something there especially by using capital letters to get your point across.

    Before I read your fateful comment I knew full well what was going on.

    When the Husband isn't there, you're not the only one she's talking to. There'll be many others.

    It seems to you that she only talks to you. That's only because of all the attention you shower her with.

    I guarantee if you asked to meet/hook up, it'd be a flat no.

    She doesn't see you that way. If she did, she would've fucked you by now. She hasn't and never will. Don't get your hopes up.

    She'll only use you for attention AKA chats which will get you no where.

    You want action? Take action and walk away from this situation in the 1st instance.

  • She likes chatting with you and she enjoys when it is getting sexually explicit. Still she also does that with other guys. Importantly, she also misses her husband. She probably wants to fuck with him when she has all worked herself up in her fantasies. It seems clear to me that he does not share her passion for erotic chatting, but he is still the one who gets to have sex with her.

    What do you actually want? Are you fine with just chatting? This could probably continue, as she is really into it.

    Or do you want to have sex with her? I do not think she is anywhere close to leaving her husband for you or anyone else. Not sure how far she would go with cheating. I think she would not do it.

    I would quit at this point given that you cannot be her main partner and I would insist on that.

    Though if sharing erotica is your thing this could probably go on a long time.

  • She clearly feels some sexual attraction to you. As for whether you have some quality her husband lacks, maybe but maybe not other than being the guy who is always around for pleasant convos when she needs someone to talk with. She’s giving mixed signals, she’s married and who knows what kind of problems she’s got related to her husband, and you’re the side guy who doesn’t even get to have sex. Is this good for you?

  • No, I don't think so

  • Didn't read fully.
    This is a relationship with a committed person, so if you want it go for it

    If you want to respect her relationship status, then don't go for it.


    Looks like you don't get much in real life, am I right? (I'm not teasing, I don't either lol)

  • What a low life b*tch she is. I see no appeal in cheating women. They’re dead to me

    • I had a little chat with her. She says she was only teasing and I'm not the only one, but I don't think that's any better

    • Haha same :D F*ck cheating wh*res

  • Sorry I’m not reading all that lol!

  • A married woman who doesn't know what she wants and a brat who's too patient with her bullshit. You are both cringes.