Does this sound weird or normal?

[Anonymous]

So my girlfriend and I were talking about trying threesomes and agreed an mfm would be better to start with. We went through our options and I told her I think we should find a guy online out of town (friends are risky) and talk to him for a bit and meet him out in public.

I told her that I'd definitely want to help choose the guy. She asked why and I told her I'd want to make sure the guy was cool and good enough for her. I think she's amazing and attractive so she deserves the best. She got kinda excited by this.

We talked about this a few more times and it turns out one of the things that excites her most about this situation is to see what kind of guy I'd accept for her to have sex with. Now it seems like I might be the one who does almost all the searching.

Do you think it's normal for her to be so interested in seeing who I'd pick for her? What could this mean about her?

Thanks for reading and potential answers!

[Gent207-2]

I think you two are showing yellow flags on this idea. While she for one is super eager and thinks that you are going to choose the Chris Evans (Captain America) of men.

BUT we all know that there is an even greater probability of you choosing someone only slightly-less "hotter" then yourself and obviously anyone with a bigger dick then yours is out. SO the question becomes what if the guy you choose is not the one she wants. This will undoubtedly create a cascade of arguments that will no doubt ruin your plans and your relationship.

Lastly on the flip side of this coin FMF - your girl would make the same choice and avoid choosing the Scarlett Johanson.

[Asker]

No if there was a really attractive guy who was bigger I'd be ok with it, I've been with my girlfriend for awhile and we talked about it and it's just a fling, I don't expect them to run off together

[Gent207-2]

You are seeking an analysis of her possible intentions based off of her source of excitement being who you pick vs who you pick as a couple. Plus you are also showing a slight annoyance at having to do "almost all the searching", tells me there is some slight unsteadiness brewing. But of course I could be overanalyzing. However I still think you need to discuss your options as a couple. Plus have you discussed B. C and STD prevention (all birth control methods have a failure rate abd various side effects, pros and cons etc.).

[Asker]

I came across the wrong way with that, I'm not annoyed at having to pick the guy, I'd love some of her input but if I do it on my own entirely it's alright, it could even be fun and it might be easier since it's just one person, I just don't want to pick wrong So we did discuss that, she's on the pill and we would use condoms unless the guy does an std check and shows us the results with his ID so we know it's legit, and if that happens, or the condom breaks, we'll take the morning after pill to be extra certain

[Adam_Badry]

My personal opinion, very personal one is that threesome with you girlfriend isn't a great idea, it may get you in many problems,
There is a chance she gonna think that (you don't see her good enough or attractive or hot enough)
And maybe will think you kinda (cheat ) or something like you are interested in another girl , basically I don't think a lot of the things that happen with the threesome of this kinda of things make the relationship last , so I advice you stay happy and have a happy time with your girlfriend, aka future wife :))

[kylee2437]

Don’t entertain conversations and then gain insecurities about it. This says nothing about her as a person. She is entertaining a conversation equally as you are entertaining it and you have to be prepared for answers that may bother you if you are going to open up a can of worms

[Asker]

I'm more so seeking second opinions, I feel pretty good about everything, we have a good relationship, but this isn't something I can talk to my friends about while also being 100% sure they won't tell anyone else, you know? Here I can ask stuff safely

[kylee2437]

@asker I totally get it and I’m not saying this isn’t a safe space for that, but if convos like this are striking inner insecurities, what’s the point?

[Asker]

I'm not feeling that insecure, I was wondering maybe if someone could tell me why a girlfriend would be interested in this, I'm curious about the thoughts she might have and perhaps this could help me think of things to ask her about this, and maybe it could even help me set it up right and pick the best guy I could for it

[Molly1997]

Yeah that’s normal for her to be interested, I’d be dying to know too lol. It doesn’t really mean anything as far as I can tell

[Asker]

Nice! I just don't want her to think less of me lol I kinda have some idea of what I'd be looking for, after I find the guy I'd probably want to do a group chat so she could meet him before we commit to the mfm

[Molly1997]

Nice my boyfriend won’t let us do a mfm 😠 but he is ok with a ffm 😑 figures

[Asker]

That's lame, I don't think that's fair at all! I think mfms would be easier, a lady can handle 2 guys better than a guy can handle 2 ladies Almost all my guy friends have been in mfms at some point and they all sounded really fun, but I haven't experienced it cause I wasn't doing hookups, so I figured it'd be a nice experience with my girlfriend!!

[DaveJord]

Its not normal, its weird, and I would of went for the FMF. So, the MMF speaks more about you then her. I just can't get my junk that close to another man's junk and find it fun. Maybe you should tell her that you are having second thoughts, unless there is another man specifically that she has in mind.

[Billlewis]

This is one of my favorite fantasies, as well, and I believe that in this kind of arrangement, it's important that one guy is firmly established as being in charge.

[Asker]

Would it be better if me or the other guy was put in charge? Ultimately I want this to be a good time for my girlfriend

[FunkyMonkee]

No, the only weird part was starting the first sentence with the word, "so".

[CubaPirate]

If you play with fire you're likely to get burnt