Does violence turn you on?

Question

I recently had a conversation with someone and they described something which they did to one of their exes. It was violent but I understand why he did it and that it was exceptional circumstances, but what surprised me is how much it turned me on, his violence against this woman. I kept imagining him hitting her and it got me so hot. 

I know it's quite a taboo subject, and obviously it's just pure fantasy and beating people isn't cool, so feel free to answer anonymously, but does anyone else get turned on by extreme violence?

AustinMan · Accepted Answer

I have been with women who asked for what I would call domestic/dating violence in absence of CONSENT. Informed consent by an adult extends the range of what's acceptable to me. Several gf's asked me to slap them: come on, give me a smack to put me back in my place. This is a part of a BDSM scene I was very reluctant at first but as she continued to ask either directly or by being a complete brat, I started with light, painless slaps and progressed to a firm slap that might leave a red spot for 10 minutes. They loved it. So I'm a little conflicted about it all. Clearly, anything that would result in serious or permanent injury is out of the question so, for instance, I would never hit a woman hard enough to injure her nor would I ever use anything but my open hand.

There will probably be those who find this horrific and I support their right to that opinion. Until you've been with a woman who likes her sex very rough and who's very persuasive will any of us know what we would do.

DodgersGM · Accepted Answer

Domestic abuse (it sounds like this is what you've described)? No, that does not turn me on at all; it's quite the opposite, actually.

Completely consensual sexual acts that might SEEM violent/aggressive? Yes, a pretty big turn on.

wölfin-fräulein · Accepted Answer

Violence is different that overwhelming power. What "you" see in your imagination is power, what "she" is being through is violence. If you are in her place you won't be turned on, but from an outer look it's just a form of forcing power. Like the rape fantasies, in a rape fantasy you don't actually imagine a real rape but you imagine sex in a very overwhelming situation. And usually the more sex drive you have the more violence and power you need, it is natural.

Izzy2102 · Accepted Answer

Well not gonna like I like watching boxing matches because two half naked men beating each other up is kinda hot. Same goes for hockey, football, even soccer, a bit of violence between men is hot, but really I think knowing they're not gonna kill each other is important in that fantasy. A men being violent against a woman, especially one that trust him, that's a turn off, don't get what you see in that?
Unless you mean like implying violence in the bedroom

Blondeandfree · Accepted Answer

Absolutely not. For me that's the biggest turn off that exists. I love to be treated like the lady I am. Very gently, polite, with care, not violently.

vladti · Answer

It is many peoples fantasy, mostly guys but I had an ex once who was always going out, getting drunk and getting picked up by guys who just wanted to fuck her, it was how we met and why we finished.
I had this fantasy of her calling me one night from a guys house, drunk and wanting me to pick her up as the guy had 2 other friends in the house who would not let her out, then hearing them come into the room and listening on the phone as they jump her, hear them tearing off her clothes and imagining how they were holding her down and fucking her. Like you, it is a taboo subject and pure fantasy. I have always wanted to here if a girl ever had this fantasy also and what it is they found exciting

justbanANNAz · Answer

hmm no tbh...

JohnWhilkins · Answer

I think I talked about this before. What kind of violence are we talking about here?

I always like to think of it as a difference between violent acts and sexual frustration. That frustration bit can be pretty enticing but.

A good example would be how a lot of people think of roleplaying sort of rape scenarios, maybe you caught something in a movie and you're like oh my god that's so hot. But then you get those movies that depict REAL rape, and it starts enticing but ends with going too far and you're just sitting there barfing ever so slightly into your mouth

TheDevilInside · Answer

not if the violence is aimed at another person. If it's aimed at objects, it could be kinda hot I guess... It's a display of power thing.

Mesonfielde · Answer

Nope, not at all. I am disgusted by violence.

basketballchick · Answer

i have been in a violent relationship before and i would never want to go back to it ever again its not good trust me

kangy · Answer

it will never turn me on, it will disturb me a lot

p0rtis26 · Answer

I do not find violence to turn me on. It is an extreme turn off. Girls are special and delicate at times. They are not to beat on, my opinion.

CasaNorba · Answer

no. but for some reason all the movies, video games etc that i enjoy are hyped on violence. though that is not really what i'm into. when i see/play them i sometimes forget how violent they are

TheNewClassic · Answer

I hate violence

ThreeIn · Answer

Nope. I'd be a little turned on if a girl saw me fight and liked it tho.

genericname85 · Answer

i associate violence with the bad kind (unpleasurable kind) of pain so no.

rUinSAYAN · Answer

I like to be playfully fighting with girls, turns me on. a decent slap if she likes it, riding her hard and tasting over her body to make her full pleasure. I guess I'm horny now haha

croxy · Answer

Nop, it doesn't turn me on. You said further down it's the lack of control that make it turn you on, why not BDSM then? No violence AND lack of control ahah.